Why..

..do people seriously think I'm my dad?  They seem to happily go crazy over it.

(They make fun of him and assume I am the same way.)

What's wrong..

..with what I said?

Problem

What a way to ruin my life today.  I just felt upset and introverted.

Problem

They're just being wrong.

Problem

They keep doing it!!

Problem

What's wrong now?

Problem

If something little goes on, they always keep on making a big deal of it.  I am a good person, and you are abusing me.

Problem

They wanna fight.

Problem

They said my life would be worse in a week just for posting on my Problems blog about these kinds of things.  I don't need more to post.

Problem

I think I'm being told I'm trash.

Problem

They keep adding more things after I post!  They just said I couldn't meet someone, like it's something they decide.

Annoying

I think my mom started this weird, show offy treatment of me, like something equals "won't be it in a week" and whatnot that people do.  Like little things mean I can't do things.  Just picking at me randomly in very annoying ways.

Problem

They keep threatening me!  Like what I can feel and times to feel bad.

I Don't Deserve This

What did I do to deserve this?

Problem

I think Ellen wanted me to talk to my grandma more than my mom, trying to treat me like my dad's kid cuz he's technically older and stripping me of what I had that others can get that's better..

Angry

It feels like these weird new punishments "sprout" from my grandma and oldest aunt.  It's something I don't want to be picked at with, singularly.  You don't just go and do anything with anyone.

What?

Why do people keep acting like I've done something wrong?

Did you make your every move on some target?

How will I last my time well?  Tomorrow, I have a big day maybe, too.

It feels like every little bit of life is slowly going in the negative.

I don't see other people being brutally abused.  They think I'm some loser who can't take anything.

Oh, no!

Ellen was being friendly and I was too introverted to appreciate it.. it's too good to be true anyway.

Thanks..

..so, the little things people say to me are important/"true" even if bad.. but if it's about Ellen it's an important issue and they're in trouble.

So, what..

..why attack me??  Are you all looking for problems?  A lot has happened.  It's important..

Many Murdered

It seems like people did it on purpose to symbolize hatred for me.

Robin Williams
Michael Jackson
Whitney Houston
Mary from Peter, Paul, and Mary
Dom DeLuise..
Britney Murphey
Steve Irwin
the queen of the Netherlands/Holland?
airplane crash etc.
Cecil? the lion
..Heath Ledger

I have to admit I know aliens exist from TV..

I am not proud if "those people died because of me."

I know who most people would say, but I'm not sure of it as a project.  I know I come on trying to be good.  I don't know what's held at stake/hostage.  A lotta people are just so mean these days and to me.

If people are upset, it's for weird little things, like stomping my foot when people are racist, in public and upsetly..  I am not mean to people.  I just get upset when it's rapidfire attacking over a long period of time.

No offense nor accusations against no one found guilty.

Murder?

I wonder if Jim Carrey's girlfriend agreed to commit suicide.  She was an Irish makeup artist who was 28.  She dated since 2012, interestingly when I started watching Ellen.

Problem Solved, Problem Found

I just will ignore the anger when people take things from me....predictedly for no reason.

However, you know what Ellen said secretly?  Listen to everyone.

Interesting

Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday pic.twitter.com/b2W5gdKO77

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) September 30, 2015

It's like a threat.

You know..

..people with problems from others believe this blog is okay to post on.

So..

..why is my mom so adamant about Bella Thorne and Ellen DeGeneres?

Hard to Get

I feel as tho I've lost other important relationships.

1stly

I was telling myself my mom can't talk at me, then she started thinking of "punishing."

What to Think

Well, I already decided I can't tell Ellen what to do.  I guess when with people who won't shut up I don't like being made fun of.  If you wanna talk about it, you can't always talk at me.

They're just messing around "punishing" me..

That's funny, 1st I don't get much attention at all, and now I'm OJ.

Problem

They keep taking big emotional things from me and for no reason and it seems like it's for my grandma.

cont.

Oh, and what just happened with my mom etc.

Pretty Pepped

I was pretty pepped for Ellen's 13th season.

•I ended up staring like I didn't wanna feel bossed around, which my grandma and oldest aunt do to me.
•I thought of curse words at the table with my family with the people at the Emmys listening on me and now the world mostly knows.
•I found out Ellen lied when I found Bella Thorne could get something I supposedly was not punished for.
•I just felt upset that Ellen acted like I was submissive.

Can anyone fix the problem?

*wailing*

I can't be mean to anyone.  I can't hurt anyone.

I was actually in a pretty good mood.  No thanks to my parents trying to get me to believe I am just worthless trash.

Interesting

I don't really know what just happened to my mom, maybe a warning like I started something.

I came in all happy ready to eat.  She was acting meanly and more meanly.

I didn't wanna be mean back, as I never am.  I just told myself she's not on top, she can't tell me what to do.  She got more mean.

I guess I got upset for unrelated reasons.  Even tho she was upset, that's not why I was mad.

Weirdos Experimenting on Me

I'm a normal person.  I don't do this.

Question

Why is my grandma an issue?

SIck

I'm a good person and sick of being picked at every day like I need a lesson for starting mean things, which I don't.  My other problem is people thinking I'm bad like my dad, for weird intricate supposed fabricated reasons.

My Mom - Can anyone help me?

I was upset at her telepathic message to me, and she seemed physically distressed.

The funny thing is..

..many people disagree with the bad way people are treating or "punishing" me.  No one could care less unless they're Ellen with a big nose.

Ellen and Phil..

They both have older parents and think they are providing their audience with "the" experience of authenticity in time..  How old you gotta go!  1945 ain't bad.  Most people who are born in the 1800s are somewhat forgotten in some ways.

Mean to Me

Wow, people are so stupid.  I'm supposedly now have to be the bad side of my grandma, dad, mom..

Why am I not "in" already, then?

I'm swarmed by other people "playing around" with their thoughts on my grandma.  Why were people mean to her before and now that she's mean to me nice to her?

Problem

My grandma and oldest aunt think I'm bad and are threatening anyone who is nice to me, even Ellen DeGeneres.

Problem

When the experiment started, they weren't mean to me.  Now, they think they can finally do it.  It's been a pointless 10 years.

Question

What exactly is wrong with what I posted?

Problem

I always thought a Problems blog was a place where you posted your problems once and people would read it and it would get fixed.

People abuse me when I post here.  It's a vicious cycle.

Freedom of Speech

Since when are public blogs monitored for run-on statements? like the blog isn't that good? or rather limited to meaningless c***?

Problem

I'm really not feeling good, tho.  They made it so I can't feel that good, and if I do they snap at me.  They said it's something people like my grandma and oldest aunt want.

Why do some of you people always think I'm sarcastic?

I'm not!  I use a full range of vocabulary.

Did you just ask me a question?

And answer it for me?  What, should I post an explanation?

Maybe, I should not post this stuff..

..it's not that interesting.

What was that about?

Why is it a big deal I be bound to my parents?

Sleep

I can't seem to get it.

Problem

What you all up in my business?

Saying ooh look for what she do or she not do.

Problem

They are still treating me like an animal, just hurting me physically and stuff after all I said.

Problem

You all are the ones making the problems.  You snapped at me in bed when I was trying to feel good.  You acted like my grandma and oldest aunt could make me stop feeling good and enjoying Ellen, saying I started something.

Problem

They are messing with me on purpose like they're stint is cool and I'm just s***.  What, do you want me to get breast cancer?

Problem

I am feeling very miserable, watched, like I can't enjoy Ellen!

Problem

So, they don't care about me.  I say all this, and they just insult me and think I did something I know I deserve to have something taken from me for.  I can't listen to you.

In Other Shoes

How would you feel as me?

So, it's a big day tomorrow..

..somehow people have set up to get upset at me, how immature.  "A he he" ain't gonna cut it.  Yup, that's just what I said, take it or leave it.

It's silly things..

..like being upset I said something.

Answer?

Is me talking it out okay?  It's a bit much.  Can't expect anything from others about it.

So, I really need help.

I walk around the days pointlessly and miserably with people in the world talking at me, and my posting a little bowls over even more.  This is the world, people.

Did you know I slept in the day after Ellen hosted the Oscars on purpose when she filmed a live show?

I noticed Bella Thorne was just sleeping in London while the Emmy's were on.  I was ambushed, like Ellen feels a moral duty to me she wants severed.

I am not having fun.  It's not just "Ellen.."

I don't need this attention, but like any famous person I'd want to be respected.  I'm sick of what I'm seeing, people with superiority complexes and could get in a fight with them.  They always lighten up.  They are so lame and little do they realize I've done a lot of the same generation things as they have.

What did I do to deserve this?

Is it the curse word fetish?  Yes, I think so.  They just came up.  I tried to control my anger.

I feel that lame people in Hollywood set me up just to say this.

So..

..Ellen DeGeneres seems so upset it's gone on, as she said it would.  I'm getting lonely.  People I know are mean to me or don't talk to me, and I'm not left alone to daydream when I want.

Justification

People are telling me for silly reasons I "can't have" things.  I see it all over TV and Entertainment.  Sucks to be me.  So, here's my answer to them.  It's better than channeling messages via something like telepathy.  I just don't feel like doing it too much so I can be productive in life.  I don't know how I got here.  I feel like I'm being yelled at when I'm not even doing anything.

Problem

If what you all are doing is wrong, like say you did it to someone else, then why do it?

How I Feel

I think it's mean you all keep acting like my grandma and oldest aunt can dictate my life and in a negative, "senseless" way.  They need to be careful around us, not just us all around them.

I feel it is wrong and should be halted immediately.  If can't be then ignored again.

I'm just saying what's wrong, maybe that's not even how it is.  To fix it and prevent bad things from happening.

So..

You say yes to something, Ellen DeGeneres says no!
Ellen DeGeneres says yes.. you say no.

This must be quite the competition, pulling me out of bed in my room..  Like, there's nothing on TV.

There are actually other young Ellen fans on her Twitter hashtag and on her Facebook.  Most don't seem to have too much to say.  It might be worth figuring out.

Not sure what's going on..

..People never pay attention to me, but now people are being mean to me for choices I've made or haven't made.  This is my adult life, and it's my choice.  I understand you want to help, but most of you only made it worse.

Dreaming

My dad felt a twinge of discomfort and knows about my dream and acts like I don't deserve it/another/more.

I just made a blog post..

..and they said something bothersome "just in case" cuz I was saying I wasn't bad with something I wanted to talk about.

Problem

I thought of someone, and my heart rate went up.  It's a bit freaky as someone they knew died and they are sorta upset with me in private/on the inside.

Something's killing me..

..my lungs feel like they're like halting progress.

I ate too much last night, not a whole lot, and it hurt my back and I've been on painkillers like all day.

My heart rate went up when I ate, crackers and cookies.

I take too many pills.  I think the psychotic ones caused my need for the others as a side effect.  I need to get out, make some money acting.  That's what my career path is now, so there it is.  My mom said I have to take the psychotic pills if I live with her.

Staying Outta Trouble?

What could happen next?  Am I destined for being tricked into trouble unknowingly/lazily??  I know I'm on too many meds.  Do people want me in trouble?  Does this happen to most people?  Maybe, I should focus on being more European rather than being in la la land.

Problem/Apology

I submitted something with something weird I should take back but can't.  I was probably tired, tho I was taking better care of myself that most of that day..  Too happy for no reason.  I didn't seem to get it.  I put on a red flag about doing anything weird.  I did think of something while out that was weird, and there wasn't an escape, too..

And Out of Nowhere

Sometimes people mean just about anything and in the experiment you don't know who said it.  If it's a good idea, it has some meaning!

Problem

I notice they take things from me now whereas before they didn't.  They are maneuvering me.  They are saying I say things in ways I didn't say them.  I'm not even "just getting something out."  If you didn't like me for some reason, you should have said so in the 1st place.  They know I had a reason to say what I did and they know what it was.  They always "stretch the truth" of the idea of "how awful it is."

Problem

What do you think about making up "rules" for me? with "incredible" punishments?  No matter what I say, nothing will get rid of this.  I didn't do anything illegal, and I thought what I was doing was okay considering the situation and otherwise.  Something made it hard to think and figure it out, at the time, otherwise.  I receive no warning for numerous dislikes people have for what I do, and the consequence is illegal what they do to me.  I'm 29 and if someone is trying to make me uncomfortable is a problem.

Another thing to note is I'm not in trouble unless something else, technically not wrong, happens and my parents/dad get involved secretly and make me feel really bad almost all the time it seems.

It's been, like, 10 years, here in Orlando, Florida, US, and they won't stop.

This could be the root of the problem.  Life seemed to improve in the world until 2009.

Problem

People are making fun of my dad plus don't understand the difference between him and me.  I am left with only him or, like, no one in my life when I have no friends.. so I don't learn much from different people, like most people, tho I try hard networking online more than others, it seems, who have friends, even via social media ways of keeping in touch.  This has set me off track and made me go a little insane.

Problem

I can't get thru the day I'm so depressed.  It feels like when I moved to Louisiana and I had no friends and gained some weight and had insufficient outlet to exercise in a way that was beneficial to me.  No one can make me feel better.  I already have been seeing a therapist.  I also have a psychiatrist who keeps me on the same medicine.

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Christina Ann Joanna Barrett looking for help

Just now · Orlando, FL · 

Do you know anyone who's mean just because they think someone wants to make sure someone is mean to you? Some obscure nil possibility? Don't pretend you don't understand! like so many people on the real internet.. It's an excuse to be mean to someone, just because they know someone else will be anyway. Let's not look for a fight but an answer. This is a good post. I post what I want. I'm me, you're not me, you don't tell me what to do. I am 29 and considered a competent individual. I am not mad. Everything I say doesn't have to be interpreted as tho I went lengths to make it sarcastic. It's a legitimate point and one of the only things relevant in my life, at the moment, in a way. I didn't say anything bad. It's my life, and I can do anything that is legal that I want. I hope you found the meat of this post interesting and the disclaimer on what I really mean appropriate. I don't think anyone will answer much, but it's that kind of post where it relates to a real issue well that could exist for you. In the end, it also matters. Do you wanna tell me what I do that's bad? Everyone can't do anything they want to me. I always have a reason for doing what I do! I can't believe this would happen to me.. I'm on my own in life. I communicate the supposed par ideal. It's the answer to every movie, the typical lessons people face..and a little different. I'm me and I have a right to say and do what I want as is legal. I'm not trying to sound like I'm yelling but was explaining why I posted something contradictory. There. This seems like a good idea. It's also gonna be available on my Problems blog. My thinking is straight and to the point. Most people are in some other world.. You'll find it's too late to change when it's too late. Thank you for listening and letting me post this to you. My point was at the beginning of this post. Some of it was funning in a weird way but not sarcastic. Perhaps, you are upset because you do not hold the answer. It would be nice if you had some kind of excuse. I am not trying to fight but, like, "debate." ..debate a point. I know you are still wondering why I posted this.

Something Wrong to the World

They think if someone is legitimately mad that it means they're in trouble just like them.

I've heard this was an issue of sorts with an older generation, born in the late 1960s and the earlier 1970s.

When It's Okay for Sure
Is it sometimes right to be upset?  We'll start with the basics and say we know it's okay to be mad if someone is murdered.  So, does anyone dare to cross that line?  I don't think the outcome is to smash things but to cry and talk about it, being upset or "mad."

So, how mad should you get for certain things?

Why I'm Mad
I'm mad because I'm a good person, pretty smart and with know-how in basic things, like feelings.  However, people are always "testing" me and think I'm a "bad egg/nut" suddenly as of maybe 2006.

Problem

I felt something in my ring nail, tho I don't have to worry about this.

Problem

They are lashing at me all the time, my oldest aunt and grandma, with me not being able to feel what I want anymore supposedly yes or no, don't even know, for something I did.

Problem

They're jumping at me with things that supposedly some have reason.

Problem

My mom also seems "self-satisfied."  Like I'm just s***.

Problem

I had to end my story.

Problem

They are threatening my oldest aunt into my life to make me worship s*** about others.

Problem

My mom is sending mean secret messages like I'm just gonna deal with it.  They tend to do these mean things, even if I don't say anything.  I'm writing a story, and they rubbed in someone in a bad way.  What if this memory comes back, too?  I don't hurt people with this.  I'm actually pretty serious about what happens.

She's just doing whatever she wants like "zing zanging" cuz I was splashing around etc. in the tub when feeling bad.  It was an interesting experience, probably because of last night.  She just acts like I'm some weirdo as I got off to my room to report "what comes out."

You might think it doesn't matter if it happens to me, but my mom had a certain attitude, too.

So what if I'm mad?  They are being mean.

What about my story?  I'm writing one!  They bothered me.

I was trying to feel better, but I just can't.  It's just "unfortunate."  No one else has this happen to them.

They're messing up the feel of the story!  Why do they keep taking from me?

My mom is being bemused, giddy, and, I forget, like "delirious" but like she's on top of me here.  It's a negative effect.

I also need to get to bed for a big day tomorrow, which should have been today or yesterday and before, but I had bad experiences.

They keep inflicting people on me now.

I could let it go, but something about it seemed big.

Problem

They are threatening me, like there has to be a balance where things aren't what I want, like someone putting me too close to my parents in weird ways.  And it's not because they tuned in at the Emmys.

They seem to think that's what they want but that - I forget.

They do expensive things that bring on irritation in clear cut messages with a good side highlighted.

Problem

My oldest aunt replied to my Facebook post, and they are suggesting what she suggests.

Problem

They made the reload button randomly go to an "x" for awhile.

Problem

Why are you acting like everything is okay and I have no reason to feel sad/upset?

Problem

I was going to lay in the tub to feel better with my female thing.

Problem

They keep at me and iterating over and over about if I look up to someone like a parent.

Problem

See, they mess with me if something goes wrong, like a hobby, but I was not the mean one.

Problem

I just got a message about "a little sister" to do with someone I like.

Just Way Too Mad

I was upset that supposedly my nose didn't matter, like a game.  Everyone says I'm a really good person.  Why would this happen to me for no reason?

Problem

My aunt is threatening me.. this is too much.

Dear Journal..

..I was mad in the bathtub splashing and spinning and stretching around, probably a crime.

One thing I realized was I didn't wanna be told what to do, like that I can't release anger in private.  Why is my oldest aunt an adopted mother for me?  I'm 29.  I already have a mom, dead or alive, which she is alive and I live with her.  I find that suggestive.  She always thought the most of me, for whatever reason.  Did someone tell her to change??

Earlier today-I forget, they were a distraction.

I also wonder why they ruined my life.  My parents, the experiment.  Why was my hair so f****in' black?  No one sees me for who I am because my hair is not blonde.  They separated us as babies and decided whose hair to lighten and whose hair to darken.  Well, there was no reward for what they said was good as black when we were not even fully conscious and stuff as babies.  I could only wonder why some people have black hair and why non-white people only like the white people with blonde hair.

I don't really get it..

..why would I be worse than my dad?  He was cradling his plate today like "he has control."  That's quite the opposite.  We've, like, been thru this, but then he goes and has to move to Orlando and do these things.  One thing that seems terribly wrong I didn't know, and my life is over.

And what's with people out of Orlando thinking they got it over me when they didn't!

Problem

I try harder to have a good day, and other people try hard to bother me.

Problem

My mom gave me the cramp.  It still hurts.  I don't know when I'll get better.  So what if I writhe and slap my sofa in the privacy of my room?  It's not like I'm being mean like they are.  It made me feel better apparently, and then she made me feel like this.

Problem

I think my dad may have a problem.  He has a ***ual addiction to me to wanna see me suffer for being a mixed mutt.  He like glares at me for little things I think.

I tried to stop acting upset at the table, and when I thought that my dad "didn't wanna miss it" and bothered me more.  I didn't have much time left.

Sad

My life is so miserable and tragic and nasty.  What?  I need a new shelf before things are right?

Sad

They took it upon themselves to feel sorry for themselves at supper when they were bothering me and I acted kinda upset.

Problem

So, who's having a strange "issue" with younger people?

Okay, but..

Since when am I the kind of person to be treated worse than others?

Problem

My parents were acting annoyingly and I think made me feel bad for thinking, "Stop it," and upset using my utensils.  I was calm some of the time.  I guess I was still riled up, time to eat when I came back from my jog and my iTunes don't work.  I dunno, I feel bad now cuz that's not for me to be that way.  What can I do?  Sometimes, I just go crazy and can't think.  I guess I just have to take it myself.  Too late now, yea.  I feel sorry for my mom.

Problem

My parents acted like they had different voices talking to me,

Problem

Some people just don't seem to get the point.  Like, you make yourself go all out to explain it, and you're wrong.  They assume any little thing is offensive.  What if someone meant something, anyway, I'd wonder.  You don't have to go insane over that..

Problem

My dad wouldn't stop being annoying and mom.  And I'm very upset that's cuz they broadcasted me eating supper with my fam during the Emmys.  I knew they'd do that.  I wasn't trying to make a problem.

Problem

I keep feeling like my toes and feet are being pulled at.

Problem

So, 1 of their games is to twist what I said into hurting me and helping someone else, "or else."

Problem

I'm tired of being in trouble for no reason all the time.

Problem

It was about hurting me.

Problems

Why do I have to delete it?  It fits in!  It's not even that bad.  I don't know who it applies to for sure, I think.

Problem

So what, if I said what I said?  You don't even care about apologies.

Problem

Did you seriously just say I have to be tortured all the time just to meet someone?

Problem

They won't stop.

Problem

The volume on my tablet laptop with the iTunes is very soft.

Problem

Now, because of my grandma and oldest aunt they are taking big things from me if they feel upset at some remote thing.

Problem

My parents secretly make it so I can't sing and things.

I was upset they treated me like an imp and a n***** when I was little and were mad I was jealous of others.  They somehow "knew" and did stuff.  I was only 2, but this was a private thought anyway and I was abused I feel secretly.  Anyone would get away accepting they hate me for my mixed race.

Problem

They keep being mean to me "cuza yer dad."  How pathetic.  Anyone would go along just to be safe and no one cares about me.  My dad harbors a hidden rage.

Problem

You think what I did wrong was just saying this!  I'm not gonna live with my grandma and aunt saying this.  It's lasted too long, anyway.

Also

My mom said it's it, one thing I can't have.. they can't keep being mean to me like that.  It was one of the most important things.  What if you were taunted about your job?

Problem

My mom was walking like she was injuring me putting plates in my head.

They won't give me a rest!

I thought of 2 bad words and felt really bad and squirmed.  They will say "it's not it" tomorrow.

Problem

My mom secretly said as I got up to get my food, "This is this.  You are not allowed to do this."  I was just going online doing something I like.

They wanted me punished for one thing, feeling good, going for the top but skipped life.

Anyone Else Upset for Me??

If so, I mean, you left me stuck in bed or tired at the computer talking about hurting me, no sleep then.

Problem

I didn't even wanna go see my grandma.  She was like yelling at me to come, acting hysterical.  One thing wrong, they can't get over it and keep bothering me, "like animals."

Problem

They are associating memories.

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Christina Ann Joanna Barrett thinking about doing something crazy

Just now · Orlando, FL · 

Some people have had the doctor order change in my life that isn't going away. They think I have done wrong and are treating me like a kid, being mean to me like they are punishing me. It has happened for an unusually long time, when I never meant ill on anyone. I haven't exactly lashed out at them on my Problems Blog but have reported it there. By the way, if someone is being hurt, they have the right to feel upset and talk about it, tho it's probably better if they don't take it too seriously. The thing is I could go in and smile, but I really can't put up with one problem after the next. I don't really know where this one is coming from.

They are snapping at me if I feel good is what it is. They have upscaled their value by doing this to me. There are little noises in my room..

The only thing I am wondering if it's not just being mean/"punishing" me. I used to have nice dreams a few years ago. For some strange reason, I bumped my forehead in the bathroom, not that hard, and these cool dreams stopped. Someone probably sliced their hand in front of my brain and even remembering normal dreams watered away.

So, I see it as I was not very bad so it's bad they are taking away my pleasure. They see it as I was mad on the inside and seemed like they could tell my sadness of not feeling well on the outside but don't care cuz they did it and that therefore something big is what I don't deserve.

Technically, they can't do it, but they just strung together the meaning and did it.

This has went on a relatively long time if not for good. They wrongly wanna play safe by being mean to me and acting like they didn't just do it but I deserve it.

I don't know if I can deal with this misfortune and the juggling of who did what. If it's someone I know, I have a problem cuz it's not for them to decide. I think I sorta know who started what with the big picture. They think they can "punish" me for no good reason in my 20s. I'm 29. Like, if I did poor in school cuz something happened, if I used a store card and want to pay it back with allowance.. hard to think of much else that relates to this.

Someone in my life has gone insane, too, and they keep rubbing them in.

They've supposedly convinced other to be mean to me.

Torture

They are devaluing them.

Problem

They won't stop!

Problem

Now, they did it twice, like they are stimulating someone.  Now, a load said, "Only such and such (Johnny Depp.")

Problem

They are trying to irritate me again claiming they didn't do it.

Problem

Now, they made the Facebook logo reload, "gently" or slowly.

Problem

Someone suggested I was mean when I wasn't a long time ago.

Problem

They're acting like maybe they didn't do it.

Problem

They're making it happen, the stimulating in a weird or bad way.  I'm just saying they did it.

Problem

They also want to stimulate some people saying, "Okay, it's it."  All this with the blame on my back, won't hurry up and finish their crime against me.  No offense, but why don't you "just let it all out" now and say something to yourself rather than doing any bad thing that exists?  I see this is a big problem with how people work.  I hope they don't get worse cuz I said what they are doing.

I'm beginning to suspect that it's not all my grandma and aunt, but it seems like they made the decision, too, if not as the original determinant.

Why..

..do they say Ellen DeGeneres sacrifices the dignity of other relationships?  Like, my mom keeps going so bemused and fluid acting when I feel she thinks "worked up," like because I said something about Ellen DeGeneres in private that was not bad so much but twisted, in my home.

Also, I was feeling good after I went to the bathroom, and she stimulated me where my dad did, where I have my female thing, to feel sore and laden down.  I just got my female thing again.

Problem

Also, people are taking seriously when I feel upset and am looking for the escape, like I'm doing something against them and they're mad.

Problem

This isn't stopping.  Now, they are suggestively "picking someone up."

Problem

They aren't stopping!  I see them coming in ruining my life.

Problem

I am trying to type something and they burst out saying my possible future daughter is not white, by my oldest aunt, saying based on her existence she is "looking for" my aunt cuz they want someone more older in my life affecting it thinking they are needing to try to "punish" me or be mean to me.

Last Night in Bed

They kept shutting off my feeling good and in the end it felt in the opposite way.  I kept squirming and went a little crazy to myself.

I guess..

..since I got mad at the people experimenting on me when I was hitting my sofa and accidentally later made a hurtful noise, there's more distance.

Problem

Well, the experimenters didn't have a problem with my long problems post.

Every time I was about to feel a certain way, they made a clicking noise to stop.  It's my grandma and aunt.  This is ridiculous.  It's ruined it for me.

All I did was 1st express I was unhappy in an earlier visit.  2nd visit, I was rough at church when my grandma was groping and splashed in the pool when mad.  My aunt got ticked off when I didn't go up the stairs "carefully" and was upset but not like walking madly.  She needs to stop being "motherly" in bad ways to me cuz sher really has no business.

I got to feeling really bad.  The words have a light doubling affect on the screen.

So, they made noises of other people I like snapping at me, people who are kinda famous, like I'm a dog and they're making an animal sound to me.

They also won't forgive me for asking my mom was she was upset cuz it grew to yelling and I wouldn't stop asking about what she said.  I just live my life, and the insults come, from her, my dad, noises they put there..

My grandma and aunt are really butting into my life.  They are so mad and self-important they took it upon themselves to make noises against me every time I feel good.  I tried putting up with it awhile, but they just don't stop.

Problem

My grandma and aunt won't leave and are sorta chanting at me.

Problem

Now, they're having me recept their fighting me the anger of when I cursed about the noises they put in my room.

Problem

I saw the mouse arrow come up where it wasn't.

They just made the Blogger icon blink twice as I went to Captcha this again.  They did it again..

Sleep

I am not sure if they will say something that disturbs me.

Just why be mean to me?

If I got attention for being good?  It used to be that I was good, not the people giving attention to me.  I was the baby.

Problem

They said my grandma and aunt decide what we do.

What?

My mom came in after I was posting/thinking about people not reading my Problems blog and putting it up higher on my regular blog as a link on the side for support for suspecting people wanting to read it..  I said no one had to read it, but some people have I am guessing..

Problem

What's the point in not sorting out your thoughts in a special problems blog?

I forget what else I had to say.  I mean, did you say I was lashing out when I wasn't??  How else am I supposed to say it?  This blog is in hopes of strangers out there reading and the help somehow reaching me if someone knows the answer to my problems, like a message in a bottle.  I know it sounds silly.  I'm not devaluing it, but I'm saying it's not supposed to be checked.  The posts don't get copied to my big blog cuz the point is to sieve it into the debris.  It's not supposed to be checked by regular readers cuz it's already a lot to ask to put your regular blog out there.  I do have this place in my heart about this blog existing, but who'd be interested, anyway??  I don't really like visiting here too much.  I had to say something, but I am guessing that if anyone read it it was considered too much as far as disciplining me goes..  Also, I don't mind if they don't check for instance, me on Twitter or IMDb.  So..  I wish some people I knew kept up with me online, but I started a blog too late.  Same with my ProBoards forum.  I got my dad on here.  I do use Facebook for communication.  So, I mean, just go out there and do something, but I do recommend getting a BlogSpot.  You do have to be careful, like with how you act and with screennames etc.  I can't promise success..  Maybe, I got on and wasn't mature, even at 21.  I also made a smaller blog, with the thought in mind that people are busy or have little business with me.  What about my main blog?  I could stay outta trouble.

Problem

They flashed something yellow on my TV on a new show I like and said, "This is 'sister.'"  I am not mute!  I didn't do anything wrong!

"for the record"

Do you know how long it's been since this for me somewhat unsuccessful visit?  It's been a little while already.

This is another point I have to make in all this.

Problem

They are trying to make me feel bad about being rough after my grandma groped at church, when she was the bad one, and when they were mean to me and I splashed in the pool cuz I was mad.  I didn't wanna do that.  Since when have people become so incredibly, outright nasty?  It's like they're staring me down in secret.  I can't get at them, but here I'm telling you now.  Sometimes, a lot of times, I ignore things.  I don't think it's appropriate to be mean to me twice and try to make me feel like I was trying to be mean.  That's not my case.  It's that I was upset and couldn't hold it in.. and then there was a reason.

Problem

They are threatening me as I'm about to post again.  Ruining something..

Problem

They won't stop!  This is bothering me!  My dad acts like this is his back and then flips me off saying he didn't do it.  He keeps changing his mood and behaving inappropriately.

Problem

They made the post not publish right away.  I had to click again after the check thing you get after posting so much.

Problem

This can only mean more problems.

My dad and his oldest sister and mom are acting like they want to take things from me, like watching Ellen and feeling good.  I can see my dad giddying up.  They think I was extra bad at my aunt's and grandma's.  My grandma groped at church, and I got rougher and wanted to leave.  I splashed in the pool when uncomfortable from my mom by her choice and upset at messages all around me that are mean because of someone thinking that's what I have to do.

I did get the message that no me is me time on others's part.  They are just punishing me for no reason tho, so whatever the situation they think is isn't exactly the answer they gave.

What about me?  Why do I get treated badly?  Am I the opposite of success because of this experiment?  Why do other people get the "pleasure" bell of just no me and other things that are actually bad tho?  People used to say I was so accomplished, doing well in school, good in activities, good reputation..  Then, the experiment came.

Problem

I don't need people beating at me.  They are getting mad at me for like not getting enough sleep as a teen, when I was doing homework.  I e-mailed 1 hour, no TV.  I had some physical activity..  because they think they are cool like they know why I was ugly but didn't care when I did.. they did it.  They did it on purpose, so I didn't know what to do.  I can't go to the gym at 12.  Well, yea, but it'd be like tennis, which I did some.  It'd be some thing that consumes time.  Which, why does it seem like there's something wrong with that?  Just, why do they keep fighting me?  I don't wanna get arthritis typing this.  I need to sort these things out.  Where did all these false insults stem?  Like, I see they are doing things Johnny Depp does, telling us we did something that was only subconscious or we didn't know.  I am being like blown away by the foolish hatred. That I was ugly in a way.  Like I could fix it.  When I could when I was like 14/15/16, I got to jog for exercise and did much better then sometimes.  I know exercise fixes ugliness.  So, I'm being stormed at for being ugly from not exercising as much as others or something.  That's an image stemming from the past.  I just feel this set hatred.

Problem

That's what people do.  Most people quit and go into acting or business.. maybe more non-acting..  Do you believe in cheerleading?

Problem

My parents let me do activities growing up so I had something fun to do.

Problem

They are trying to mess up my talents it seems, crazy tho I think.  I remember how my dad used to approach me, like to start piano and quit art.

Problem

Why does Ellen DeGeneres seem to have made it so I can't sing?  Probably some minuscule, insignificant perfectionist thing against Christina guilt trip.  She seems to believe I live some double life where I have extraneous thoughts that I can't control that mean guilt.  Like, I don't deserve to sing.  She reports back to my bad dad, "Okay, she can't sing."  No one should listen to him.  We should turn him in.

I'm not trying to insult an other ways possibly innocent public figure, but I noticed this and it's weird.  Maybe, it wasn't like that.. but that's what I "found" unfortunately..

Problem

They keep trying to do things to sense and attack my toes/feet.

Problem

My dad was acting like he psyched Ellen DeGeneres out.

My mom secretly said, "*** memorized it.  You will never feel that."

This is a bit ridiculous.  You guys don't have the right to be mean to me.

My mom just keeps going with a bemused attitude, trying to say I was wrong in that she'd act like Ellen DeGeneres told her to do it.

So, the point was..

..I felt like my grandma and oldest aunt made it so I don't feel well and can't rest and am dysfunctional.  My aunts don't care about my life.  My grandma thinks I'm an accident, like anyone.

I dunno how much I needed to say.  They kept getting me mad and driving into me.  I think my aunt is just mad I splashed in the pool.

I know they don't want me to mention it, but I need to get my thoughts out!  I don't wanna keep these to myself.

Problem

They said, "Well, come on and do it.  You can't do it."

That's disturbing.  Threatening me?  I need to get to bed someday!

Problem

My oldest aunt has no say in my life.  She was threatening to be a problem when we left.

Problem

They are dropping more insults, making a few pages reload like it's bubbling up in *beep*.

Really Worried

My dad blurted out that he says something isn't gonna happen.  I have a big day tomorrow, I don't need his "toast" to coast.  All I did was pretty much say what my grandma and aunt did.  I just wanted to visit like they said.  I didn't do anything wrong.

It seems..

..new rules are being made all the time.

Staying negative..

Reacting to me "telling.."

How am I supposed to achieve?  Like, be happy and live normally without being labeled a schizo by a doc?

Problem

My dad sounded like he said to my mom, "No, it's the kind when it's the kind.  It isn't going to do it."  What did I do?  I just reported what was done.  That can't happen.  I can see it's cuza visiting my grandma and oldest aunt.  They were mean to me.  I just felt a bit upset, no damage done.

My dad looked happy saying it and cupped his hand behind him as he left, like I like him and want to be with him.  He does this nasty stuff.

How godforsaken nasty can you get?  My grandma and aunt are making me not feel anymore what I want.  They have no private business over me and at 29 years old.

I haven't done anything wrong.  I don't believe in, "Just don't say anything."

Problem

This person keeps being nasty.

Problem

Even tho I wanted to apologize, I didn't see the point in deleting a truly functional and important post I made.

Problem

Why are you telling me I did something wrong when I didn't?

Problem

The severity of my grandma/aunt is disturbing.

Problem

They are associating memories with possible future kids, someone, like I "did something."

Problem

They won't stop..

They reloaded the Blogger icon 3 times and wanted my grandma touching me and not feel other things.  Why??  I don't like what it was and am doing other things, apparently.

Problem

I don't know about people getting caught up in this whole it's okay to treat me differently in bad ways cuz I'm being experimented on.  I just find that going in and making it so I suddenly can't feel much in a way is okay.  Maybe, I'm getting skinny, too.  I see a lot of rage for me, and it is making me more unsettled, as usual.  My oldest aunt must be mad she has no kids.  Then, they go psycho in the experiment delivering me secret messages.  No offense.. just 411.

Thoughts

No matter what I do, I cannot change the past.  I don't know what all I got down here.  I see that I have no shot at living a normal life.  I don't know what would happen if someday I live alone.

The Big Picture

I can see this is all cuza anger rooting from my dad and to his mom and oldest sister.  I'm not really a bad person.  This could have been easily avoided and my life saved somehow.

I thought..

..some of you didn't like apologies.

Problem

I am trying to sleep, literally, and they keep bothering me with threats!!

Problem

What the H*** is this?  My dad.

Problem

So, what, you just are mean to people or is that for kicks? cuz I mean you must get along with others sometime.

Problem

That wasn't very mean, what I said!

Problem

What do you think you'll get for listening to my dad/Orlando? My dad.

Problem

They're trying to take from me like I did something.

Problem

They made my BlogSpot logo blink when I went to it.

Problem

They're messing with how I feel!!!!

Problem

They just won't stop.

Problem

You can't take over my life and ruin it.

Problem

I just sensed they brought me in as an offense.

Problem

They are picking at me in weird ways for being upset when they were mean to me.

My grandma/oldest aunt keep appearing and prevent me from feeling good at night and I wake up and am not ready to face a day.  They made a noise sometimes to turn me off at night when I feel good or am about to sleep.

They're telling me more now.  I don't want my grandma touching me in the way she was in real life and now coming in in uncomfortable ways.  I was eager to see her for my own reasons.  I thought I would stay away, but I called and she said to come.

I am having problems feeling things for some reason.

They think they can end my life.  I even got a secret message about me being something they want d**d.

I don't want to be pushed to feel with my grandma in place of something else a part of my life.  I am open to them, but they shouldn't "need" to feel me like that when they don't show so much interest.  That's up to no good.  I don't want my grandma coming in like I'm bad and in lieu of that she needs to touch me to be my life, in a bad way.

I know my aunt has issues that shouldn't be.  If she's gonna be in my life, she's gonna have to knock, I guess.  She gets mad if I talk about being young.  Maybe, I should not even visit anyone?

So, yes, this lack of me feeling right does not make me well at night.  I wake up and feel.. well, right now like I'm uncomfortably m*******ing.

What say does my grandma have in things in my life?  I'm a good person, and she's more iffy.  Same with my oldest aunt.  She can't be here to k***.  That's sorta the opposite of what she does.  It's not funny.  They think I'm an accident and don't matter.  They find an interest in my mom and dad but not me due to them.

They just asked me if I don't want something, but there's nothing wrong with me reporting this crime!  I didn't do anything!  If you agree with this, you are out to get me.  I forget what I was gonna say now.  Oh, some people think these things aren't good to talk about.  Maybe, I'm over their heads.  I think I have this more pieced together than them and solved it to my advantage, simply.

My grandma and oldest aunt are so mean to me.  My younger aunt seems to have a k***ing nature, as well.  So, gotta watch out.  They just said that someone has something I don't but in a bad way.  I can't imagine them being like this before.  Who said my dad is right that I'm bad?  I dunno about ugly.  Does that make me bad? or maybe upset because of problems like this?

I just wanted to dish out the facts, and they brought up other things to mangle the truth with in convincing readers.  I was sleeping and had problems.

Problem

I am not someone you can be mean to.  What about you?

Problem

They keep being mean to me, someone, to be safe.  Do you know what being mean means?

Problem

They're m*****ing me with family.

Problem

I got another expensive message by "the team" that my reviews condoning the bad things were bad cuz it was to hurt me.

Problem

Why does my younger aunt seem to think I need to change, that I did something wrong??  I can get secret vibes sometimes she's just upset and we don't talk much.  I mean, I just wonder what I'm doing.  Like, my aunts both wrote long posts on Facebook, and I got the reverberation that me talking wasn't just to start a conversation.

Problem

They're playing "smart" with me.. like they can just be outright mean.  You wait, and it goes away, but it was a nuisance.

Problem

Was/Is all the laughter really necessary?  I just was getting ready to eat supper with my family while the world can listen in on us together being bound in ritual, which I wouldn't do to someone else like that as far as I can figure now.

I wasn't especially bad.

You know, people know I decided after I was just being positive so as not to ruin the ceremony, cuz they could tell if I was "bad."

What's with the associating me only by blood cuza that?  Do you know what technically happened?  I just feel mad sometimes at supper.

Ruined My Day

My dad did something and for some reason it seemed to offset the day into fueling my guilt tomorrow.

Still an issue..

I guess I could have coped with my family watching the Emmys with me at the start while they listen in on us.

I usually think of curse words at supper but didn't seem to much last time.

I do know they are hurting me, but it's too bad for curse words.

They are even "giddy."  It's an issue to me now.  So, you have to be mushy with your family if you talk to anyone else?  I'm not mushy with anyone..

Problem

If it was a weird situation and I didn't "know," why's it such a large scale "issue?"

Problem

Who cares about some people?  I am not an "issue."  Thanks a lot, Tim Burton.. for pretending I wanted to say the N word cuz I didn't.. most of all, Johnny Depp and the world for thinking that to your advantage.. cuz you're all the ones who're mad at me or "different" than it was otherwise, which was a time of confusion of what's cool and what's "drool."

Problem

They are continuing to bother me.

Depressed Forver

They tuned in on my family and I eating supper at the beginning of the Emmys and they snottily decided I wasn't up to snuff.  I was trying to deal with it, but a few curse words "technically" came to mind.  Oh well, didn't want that, but I take it you should not like me if you have a problem.

I feel like I was imprisoned with my parents for more than these, like, 10 years.  I don't want to tie the knot like this.  I should be happy, but my parents weren't there for me when it happened.  I just knew I didn't like it, tho I don't want that feeling with anyone, being bound.  True, they were not always affectionate.  People are coo coo like that's my fault.

Problem

They are making up random insults.

Help?

I post and I see the buttons reload, like I'm getting a car wash each time I post.

Problem

They're being mean to me.  They're being tacky, too.  They are suggesting inappropriate things.

Review of Day

I wanted a good time with my mom.  At least I was quiet.

Not that this would mean it was any of your "problem!"

Mobile

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Problem

People are rubbing in I grit my teeth etc.

Problem

My morning's been wasted.  A bad mood with my mom.

Problem

My younger aunt posted something about suicide and what's better off.

Problem

They keep suggesting bad things concerning Ellen about me.

Problem

My Mom's being full of herself.

More

My mom tried to mangle my left hand as "American."

Problem

My mom keeps going!!  She's threatening me about someone else.

Problem

My mom won't quit.

Problem

So, it may publish out of order.

Problem

She kept going and swerved her ankles to me like I should, saying I can't "be European" or something.  She just keeps going.  It made me mad, grit and squeeze my cell.

My Blog

I edited once and now it's not working.

Problem

They are making fun of me for gritting etc.

Problem

I just thought of something, and my mom acted like something was taken from me regarding Ellen.

She's acting like she's winding down to hand me to people I don't want, but mainly to my parents.  I don't want that like that.

Problem

My mom had someone mangle my pinky toe because of something to do with Ellen.

Problem

Every day they saying I cursed the day before in my head they will be mean.

Problem

Some glitch, extra post copied.

Problem

They said I can't enjoy Ellen when I stop psych meds.

Problem

They are rubbing in more people.

Problem

They think they can make fun of me for using curse words about the torturous noises in my room.  No one said to stop. The abuse continues.

Problem

My mom won't stop.

Problem

It's hard to get it to post now.

Problem

People think "something's up" with Ellen.

Problem

People around are saying I'm at odds associated with Ellen about something..

Problem

For the 1st time my blog has cell problems.

Problem

I could not edit my last post.

Problem

My mom is acting annoyingly bemused.

They keep saying I don't deserve anything with others.

Problem

My family was "bound" to me eating supper when the Emmys started and they were listening in on my thoughts in front of the whole world.

Problem

They are trying to bind me with my family again.  They added the sound of my hair appliances.  They acted like my Grandma was touching my private again.