Tuesday, November 8, 2016

I'm sad

I'm not getting along with my mom nor dad.

They tell me I was so bad when I wasn't even.

They did it again.

How do I know they will stop?  They were pretty mad I didn't seem to listen and couldn't ignore it all.

If this doesn't turn out right for no reason..

..I'll be waiting.

Problem

They just keep bothering me more.

Problem

They said someone I like won't feel right to me anymore racially.

FYI? SOS?

The people spying on me think they have to "get these things out" and say them for communication sake.

Problems

I'm innocently posting online, and they acted like I did something.

Something feels funny when they put others above me.  They just did in a way that felt like it was a different situation now for me.  I felt excluded and "borrowed."  I feel if I make a relationship, everyone has to take it away from me.  It's people who they'd otherwise not bother to meet but maybe wanna just follow me again like people did when they were little kids.

What I Have

I can't sit here and do nothing.  To notice some of what they do, I have to process things.  I have a way of thinking..already there!

What Happens

Usually just when you're with people outside of your family, you don't think bad of them so you can keep the relationship.  When they think of other people with you, then you might think of bad things.

The people spying on me seem to say weird things and don't care if I don't really pay attention it supposedly seems I heard tell, weird.  Cuz some of those things are weird.

This won't work out.

They are taking little things too far.  They are framing me.  Do you ever have a weird thought come to mind when you're constantly distracted?  I don't know if I often think of attacks.  I just defend myself.

So, now, the thing is to

be mean to me and blame me for things like feeling upset and acting agitated.

Issue

They think they have seen into me being bad that if others say they are mean to me worse that I have to respect that, but I don't.  That's like everyone pushing me around.

They Blew It

They said I was my dad, and I don't like that in that way.

They tried to say me posting what they do is bad all of a sudden.

They also had said I can't feel good.  What?

Wondering

They had someone who was talking to me in certain ways stop in some ways and suggested someone else doing it.  It's supposedly just a punishment, something I did.  I don't need it, but something's bothering me about it.  It just makes me sad, like I lost something.  It wasn't just too much.  I like the person, but they don't talk to me in real life when they can.

Agitated

For reasons, they are talking like someone else to me in place of what they did before, like I did something wrong.

cont.

They said the person agreed.

Problem

They are emotionally abusing me saying I shouldn't meet someone cuza stomping my feet in my room and being rough doing laundry.

What?

I said I just was upset in my room and was rough doing laundry.

A Real Problem

My parents comfortably as planned offered up I not have my relationship ever.

Issue

You couldn't openly talk to me about what you say in secret.

Like, how if I stomp my feet in my room or something I lose something big of a relationship towards totalling things.  People know me to be good.  They won't say anything else.  Instead, I get this, tho.  I try not to do it.  Maybe, I could be better.  I just feel bad I was so mean in a way when frustrated.  I didn't mean it.  Things come up.  I have a hard time processing what this is, and I should just try harder to ignore it.  Tell myself things are okay and I can just get thru this without doing anything at the time and come here and post if I want if I think I need "help."

I'm sorry.

I post here so I can get help and nothing bad happens.  So, even if I respect something for how it is, I have to post it here for now.

Problem

My relationship is ruined in another way, too.  They are messing with my gender physically in the private part, like I owe it.  I accidentally had a thought, but I didn't mean nor say it.  It had to do with someone.  They were at me.  So, it was confusing.  I knew it would happen and told myself I didn't wanna think it, but they kept at me and it came.  Things come like that.  I am good and then suddenly I am just mad when I'm doing something.

What now?

I was being rough.

What should I do?

Go to bed?

Watch movies and post online?

I am doing laundry.

Like

My dad is trying to be like his mom cuz she gets to lie and be mean to people just because she's innocent and did it deliberately to "test" them out and then be mean to them.

Problems

I was attacked by my parents secretly.  I finally ignored it, and then I didn't get something in a relationship.

I don't wanna bother with this.  I just wanna know it ain't so, that I didn't really do anything wrong and someone I like didn't do a certain something to me.  If it's so, I'd need to know to make plans in my life how to function with people looking into me and taking.  I don't know, so I'll just be checking on people lying to me about how things should be.

Problem

They keep elaborating on how I can't have a favorite relationship because I stomped my feet in my room once on election day.

Temporary Problems Blog

link

Problem

What!  I can barely function.

Problem

They are threatening my relationship.

Problem

I was told because it was Election Day and something went wrong to them that I can't have a relationship as the trade-off for who I support for President.  People don't just disappear like that.

Problem

Are you translating me as an offense?

Why am I being talked to in the light of day like this when I'm dimming down to go to bed?  I don't know how awake other people are, but at least I wont be tired when I need energy.  That's why I did this, partly.

No offense to anyone, of course.  I'm just saying, what'd I do wrong?  People keep making up stuff for pleasure.  There's nothing there.  Just me feeling hurt.

Yes, I was told I did something wrong, basically.  What?  I didn't mean to.  I don't know where this idea came about.  I just want to be seen as right rather than wrong because you're supposed to be good.  I'm not someone to shelve because others feel I'm too careful and it makes them uneasy and they get to be popular and not have to be careful socially like me "or else."  ..or else people will prevent people I like from talking to me.

Problem

They have "more up their sleeve."

Problem

Someone has a problem with me.

Problem

Why am I being told I did something all the time?

cont.

about me releasing a little anger in my room.

Problem

They keep bothering me about that!

Problem

They said I was nothing to someone.

Issue

I'm being treated like I'm the problem when others start problems with me.

Problem

People think this calls for desperate measures.

Problem

They are teasing me together between doing something something special associated with something not so special, maybe just in case worse happens.  Terrible, this, that it supposedly has to happen.

More

They are assertive they are over me, testing me because I stomped my feet once rather hard sitting in my chair in my room.

Problem

They are telling me a body part is all someone else.

More

It's not stopping.

update

and constant/sometimes

They summoned me to post here again.

They are trying to get me to associate something with something special.

Problem

The way you made it out that I cannot do anything at all physical when mad is snooty and impractical.  It feels like the opposite is just as bad.

Problem

They took my feeling with someone else.

This is so stupid.

Problem

People are so set I'm bad and they're good, even nice people acting out.

Problem

What am I gonna do now?  They are pissed off and irrational.  They listen to other people or make up what they think they mean.  So what if I stomped my feet in my room?

Problem

It suggests they are saying I feel someone I don't want in a way just because it could be something else.  However, they think they got a reason.

cont.

in my room

Problem

They branded me from ever feeling something from someone just because I stomped my feet.

Bad Examples

Some people are bad to me.

Feeling Bad

I feel attacked.

So, how do you "get it out?"

Is that the English?

Surprise!

People are going about messing up my life.

Who cares if I stamped the floor in my room while I was sitting?

They keep testing me, too, a bad habit being formed.

Twitter

Not to remain mum, I think she is saying she takes away from you what is most important if you don't do well with her watching or being on the show, depending on how bad it seems too probably.  That won't be good cuz it might be your kid or someone you like.

Anyway, anyone can say whatever they want, especially if it's not to someone else, and she was being mean to me and put illegal, hurtful noises in my room all the time for a long time and it wouldn't stop being annoying.  If I did to her what she did to me wouldn't make sense.  I'm always pretty good and people agreed most my life til the world went crazy and people got mad at me for things not all my fault.

She has the secret service of people spying on me can make people I like not talk to me anymore.  People think it doesn't matter, but that's like taking candy from a baby in some ways.  They forget how important friendship or "love" is.  They think everyone is in a contest and if they don't have something that seems like something good cooking, they think no one else deserves it if they are compatible.  Suddenly, everyone wants the same one damn thing.

Problem

They keep irritating me physically so I have something to get over all the time every day.

Things I'm Gonna Have to Admit

True, in general, this is just one minor mishap.

Do I deserve anything socially?  I feel like people are talking meanly to me when I am alone with them.

Apology

Sorry if my behavior has shocked anyone.. am I missing anything.. I don't expect anything, in a way, that's for sure, but yea I still am onto people ruining my life.

..So.. well.. ?  I guess that's that.  What should I learn?  I want to know why those people kept acting like I stood out in a bad way.  I didn't know what to do and still don't know.  I just have to think they are shit.  When I realize that, I just keep to myself.  However, every winch that escapes me is put under unfair and great scrutiny, and people just think I'm a failure and maybe trash cuz I'm not all Caucasian.

Also

My mom was acting testy last night.

I cannot bear that something horrible is always gonna happen when I don't expect it.

Problem

Why is my dad being like that?  All of a sudden he turned on in a bad way and I looked at him when I spoke and he looked rude.  We had a good night.  I don't like this.

It doesn't have to be the end of my life.  I'm going on a trip.  How gay!  What is this, the secret service Brady Bunch?

I didn't see it as a problem.  I see my reaction was a problem, tho.

They are testing me again.  They said my hands on the keyboard was something unpleasant.  Why the hell won't they stop bothering me.  They are still taking away a relationship, too.

Problem

They are testing me saying okay if you don't stomp your foot now you have submitted to me..

Problem

They said they took something from me!  I said I'm not doing this.

Messing With Me!

My dad spoofed the way someone is that I like, in a way.

Such a Wild Change

My dad suddenly was turned on like my trip meant nothing.

Oh, I know

it's the door, I closed it too assertively.  I wasn't slamming it.

Now, what?

I just stomped my foot as I walked to be assertive ..because my dad was acting up!

So what if I stomped my feet in my room?  Is that under a microscope?

I went out ready for a good day.

But people just had to go stupid and tear it apart, as usual.  "The customer is always right."

Problem

My dad made me feel like I masturbated, and I don't like being affected by him like that.

Problem

They keep ruining my relationship.

because

"the customer is always right"

Issues

They all wanted to make sure they ruined my day, and my dad was crazy all of a sudden.

I didn't do anything!

They are taking from me and teasing me.

Problem

What's this "change" in my dad?

Problem

They keep poking at me telling me I did something wrong!  Those people wouldn't stop irritating me.  So what if I stomped my feet in my room?  I guess I just lost it, but I'm pretty mad at a lotta people.

Problem

I went to a gas station to get something before I voted.  Some German seeming American boy came in after me as I held the door open.  I think he left with bullshit on his mind and people knew "what happened."  A young-seeming boy with a long beard came in after and kept looking at me.  "That was it!"  Of course, I didn't like him, as he reacted negatively to me.  The person selling me the drink was weird, too.

I went to vote.  People thought something was a little wrong in front of me mostly and I looked at them.  They kept acting up in front of me sending me mean secret messages, like that I was bad.

I came home, and my dad is acting like he's the one to stimulate me and said my trip meant nothing and something else means nothing cuz I was rough in my room.  I went back out and he was mean again.


So, it was a miserable voting time with those nincompoops.  They just kept focusing on me being supposedly bad.  It was a chain reaction.

They are testing me in my room spying on me, too.

I'm worried people will make me lose my relationships significantly.

I didn't do anything wrong!  My dad was so upfront with me.  I just was mad about the people.  Sometimes I had eye contact and shuffled on the ground, as they wouldn't stop and going on and on.

They are mad at me for being snappy in my room.  I did sorta stomp as I walked back when my dad was acting abusive sexually.  He kept messing with me, like he "had" me.  So, because of my foolish dad, I am losing out.  The people around me couldn't bear it, neither, outside in cars etc.  This is all a big surprise.

They said I'm never it for something that's big to us people, too, if I got mad again.  I don't approve of being tested like that.

What did I do?  I was upset and stomped my foot and wriggled in my chair and said "no" and stuff, but so what?  I'm in my room and I'm not crazy.  I guess I lost it again.  My dad is such a big pooper.

They interjected again and said I'm always off because of how I innocently described my dad.  What is his problem?  He keeps acting mean.  He finds out if I've masturbated and makes it worse.  They are stimulating someone I know inappropriately.  They are taking them from how it was before.