Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Acting Uppity
They keep acting all giddy and uppity while I feel too relaxed, that feeling you get when someone waves their hand in front of your face.
I'm getting countless private illusions
of things to connect to this looking at the IMDb Soapbox. Those bad guys got nothin' to do.
Awkward
I don't like what I posted about in the specific/minor problems blog.
I didn't say it in a bad way. I just explained what it was. They keep doing it, so I explained what it was. It's a minor problems blog, anyway. Every day I get cyclical messages. Supposedly, I "did something," tho I try to ignore it. I can't seem to ignore all this. If I see someone do something, my parents want to do it to me.
I didn't say it in a bad way. I just explained what it was. They keep doing it, so I explained what it was. It's a minor problems blog, anyway. Every day I get cyclical messages. Supposedly, I "did something," tho I try to ignore it. I can't seem to ignore all this. If I see someone do something, my parents want to do it to me.
Upset
And my brother was just celebrating his birthday and sent me a message related to Ellen and then got in trouble cuz I started posting her name and started a new blog. This probably is a message for if we have kids. When they stick out 1 finger, like that girl when her dad was holding her.
PG - Rehashing a Bad Moment
Someone posted a picture of their dad, who happens to be Latino with dark black hair.. He was skinny when she was born, but he turned into being very bloated and round-looking. He stuck one of his fingers out and it looked strong, for some reason, maybe saying he loves each of his daughters. They keep rubbing that image into me.
What You Think You Deserve to Get
Just because you're all loving and caring does not mean you can steal from another's relationships. Isn't that the opposite of being nice? You forget that you could all like the same thing. But I'm saying that's not the secret formula. Lotta people are nice and deal with/put up with a lot. They don't want everything taken from them.
Further Thoughts
How is it that you think you really made it and I really didn't? You can't always come in and insult me and expect me to agree. This is getting rather vicious. It comes to say that my mom has cancer. People are vying for this girl over me, like I ever did anything. If people pay attention to me in a mean way is up to them. I get annoyed when that girl and my parents are involved sometimes. It's always a nasty, false message. I also feel because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp I had false views of the world and cannot easily change in my environment. I feel stuck. I feel Ellen watching me making sure that girl always has something to do with my gains.
They seem to think they can be on top, as well. Now, they are putting in my face something I don't want put in my face by a person.
They seem to think they can be on top, as well. Now, they are putting in my face something I don't want put in my face by a person.
Just to Make the Report
People don't seem like .. I don't feel like anyone is paying attention to me since this girl and since my life became an experiment 10 years ago. I feel like I alone am unaccomplished. I don't feel I've done nor earned anything, while other have "done something" at all in their lives, opposingly. If I earned something, a reputation or respect or affection, it all slides down the chute to this girl. They pretend she's me: the look about her, her demeanour, her track record, it all. She is a beautiful human being, like the rest of us, but I'm sure she's been platformed on a pedestal. Ellen acts like she isn't being touchy about her to punish me, but I'm sure that rumor is false. She did it to get ahead and got me to not name her when I talk ever about these things that she thinks is obvious she did. I liked not bringing her up, but I already brought this up.
Problems Galore
(1) I keep getting made fun of for something I did before we moved away from Florida at home. Who'd know? My friends already dumped me.
(2) Ellen DeGeneres started paying attention to a girl. 1st, she got mad for no apparent reason and filled my room with bothersome sounds, clicks and the way my computer loaded or had annoying glitches. 2nd, after I cursed about it, not about her herself, she decided to "wait until I was done" and made her big move saying she didn't care about anything about me but instead it's all for this other girl. Now, everyone's doing it, like so. I had put her at the top of my Twitter followers. It wouldn't matter if it was just in Ellen's hands. People copied her, 1st I remember was Sarah Brightman and then Josh Groban. I think someone I haven't yet mentioned does it, but he keeps acting guilty or unsure partly about it, tho he's the current hottie around and the girl is lucky enough he takes a liking to her tho I see that the most recent hottie doesn't follow her as much in spirit and will.
(3) Every supper seems gone amiss. I just feel so attacked, like intruded upon, poked at, invaded.. I just make noises that sound like "stop" and that cut off the negativity. I was sad today they all pounced at me. I accidentally pushed my plate into my cup without knowing and not knowing why I did it. My brother did that on purpose once.. They kept reacting like I started it, but I didn't. How pathetic. Don't baby me and tell me what to do. I know to ignore it. Anyway, it was sad because it was my brother's birthday meal home from college.
(4) Sacrifice: It seems as though people are making my life shit and dedicated to shit insofar as Ellen and that girl go. I see lotta people in glasses. They might have known I got upset of something to do with glasses. I see people growing beards and mustaches. It makes me wonder. Now, tanning your skin? for that girl? because she's mixed but "fair?" The big thing is everyone is like in glasses now. The general thing is examples of ways people sacrifice for either female. They have more love for that girl. She doesn't have to do anything. They're just using me. They are using me as a foil to her. They want to act like they are something big and bad, but they're not big, just bad.
(2) Ellen DeGeneres started paying attention to a girl. 1st, she got mad for no apparent reason and filled my room with bothersome sounds, clicks and the way my computer loaded or had annoying glitches. 2nd, after I cursed about it, not about her herself, she decided to "wait until I was done" and made her big move saying she didn't care about anything about me but instead it's all for this other girl. Now, everyone's doing it, like so. I had put her at the top of my Twitter followers. It wouldn't matter if it was just in Ellen's hands. People copied her, 1st I remember was Sarah Brightman and then Josh Groban. I think someone I haven't yet mentioned does it, but he keeps acting guilty or unsure partly about it, tho he's the current hottie around and the girl is lucky enough he takes a liking to her tho I see that the most recent hottie doesn't follow her as much in spirit and will.
(3) Every supper seems gone amiss. I just feel so attacked, like intruded upon, poked at, invaded.. I just make noises that sound like "stop" and that cut off the negativity. I was sad today they all pounced at me. I accidentally pushed my plate into my cup without knowing and not knowing why I did it. My brother did that on purpose once.. They kept reacting like I started it, but I didn't. How pathetic. Don't baby me and tell me what to do. I know to ignore it. Anyway, it was sad because it was my brother's birthday meal home from college.
(4) Sacrifice: It seems as though people are making my life shit and dedicated to shit insofar as Ellen and that girl go. I see lotta people in glasses. They might have known I got upset of something to do with glasses. I see people growing beards and mustaches. It makes me wonder. Now, tanning your skin? for that girl? because she's mixed but "fair?" The big thing is everyone is like in glasses now. The general thing is examples of ways people sacrifice for either female. They have more love for that girl. She doesn't have to do anything. They're just using me. They are using me as a foil to her. They want to act like they are something big and bad, but they're not big, just bad.
Not Blaming Anyone
This is ridiculous my mom had eye surgery on one eye and has 2 kinds of cancer. This is unacceptable. I can only say I partly blame her for never sleeping enough. I don't know what it really was, but without blaming anyone even it is still a matter of consequence that is unacceptable upon terms that exist.
Overview
So, the incoming negativity fails to cease. My suspects are the following:
(1) people who experiment on me, nurses, psychologists, "social scientists"
(2) my dad
(3) Ellen DeGeneres
(4) other people who are popular like Ellen DeGeneres
I get the messages from them thru little noises like clicking in my room, which is the garage. It also comes thru being in contact with others, usually my parents, who have their own nasty messages. The computer loads suspiciously, as well, almost every time to me it feels, at least on certain parts.
The messages are little insults to startle me and make me feel out-of-control for some reason, maybe in anticipation of what they chose to do to me, legal or not legal. Hey, I even got hints that they crash planes and kill people to stimulate me, like say Ellen decided to do it, and she wouldn't just say no cuz maybe she thinks there is some case where her royal highness can give such decrees.
I don't know why I'm bad to people. I only got mad if someone did something to me!! You're supposed to, like you getting mad at me for no real reason. I do little things for fun or sometimes slip up a little, like in attitude, and this is what I get, the one who is called Miss Perfect by the whole class? That's suggestive and selfish to barge in and control my life constantly sending me these messages. I feel all drained! Like they soaked the goodness outta me. They don't understand life. They don't live it! Sorry Orlando, too, me running into poor, weird people. These people single me out and don't ever listen to me worried about my race and how because of my parents I turned out. I was doing fine until something happened. See, they are sinners. That just proves it. I had a miserable life, as though it weren't my parents fault. I was that dorky looking figure of a person with straight black hair cut in a bob with bangs.. What do they do now? Act like they can control me. They keep saying I'm shit because of who each of them is. But they do what they want. They don't want me ahead. How sick is that? People don't like me cuza that. I won't live this life! Something's going down. I'm already 28. No, I do not want to get back totally at my parents. They did let me go thru schools that teach nothing in social studies. I don't think slaying them would be the answer. This isn't TV. That's not what I meant by "going down.." I would not mean that obscurely.. so. At least, I explained this one. So, what is this? Is my life that bad because of one thing? I am always really good.
(1) people who experiment on me, nurses, psychologists, "social scientists"
(2) my dad
(3) Ellen DeGeneres
(4) other people who are popular like Ellen DeGeneres
I get the messages from them thru little noises like clicking in my room, which is the garage. It also comes thru being in contact with others, usually my parents, who have their own nasty messages. The computer loads suspiciously, as well, almost every time to me it feels, at least on certain parts.
The messages are little insults to startle me and make me feel out-of-control for some reason, maybe in anticipation of what they chose to do to me, legal or not legal. Hey, I even got hints that they crash planes and kill people to stimulate me, like say Ellen decided to do it, and she wouldn't just say no cuz maybe she thinks there is some case where her royal highness can give such decrees.
I don't know why I'm bad to people. I only got mad if someone did something to me!! You're supposed to, like you getting mad at me for no real reason. I do little things for fun or sometimes slip up a little, like in attitude, and this is what I get, the one who is called Miss Perfect by the whole class? That's suggestive and selfish to barge in and control my life constantly sending me these messages. I feel all drained! Like they soaked the goodness outta me. They don't understand life. They don't live it! Sorry Orlando, too, me running into poor, weird people. These people single me out and don't ever listen to me worried about my race and how because of my parents I turned out. I was doing fine until something happened. See, they are sinners. That just proves it. I had a miserable life, as though it weren't my parents fault. I was that dorky looking figure of a person with straight black hair cut in a bob with bangs.. What do they do now? Act like they can control me. They keep saying I'm shit because of who each of them is. But they do what they want. They don't want me ahead. How sick is that? People don't like me cuza that. I won't live this life! Something's going down. I'm already 28. No, I do not want to get back totally at my parents. They did let me go thru schools that teach nothing in social studies. I don't think slaying them would be the answer. This isn't TV. That's not what I meant by "going down.." I would not mean that obscurely.. so. At least, I explained this one. So, what is this? Is my life that bad because of one thing? I am always really good.
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