Howcome if I'm good, I get dissed and others get things?
If my parents kept me from living a good life, so be it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Serious
What's wrong with Ellen? She is mad that everyone isn't being mean to me. She supposedly put illegal annoying noises in my room and acted like she acknowledged that. So, I got upset and cursed about it a long time. Doesn't that make sense, a time you'd curse?
She seems vehement against my mom telling me things are okay, like I think too. Why can't the being mean to me stop, tho?
Ellen keeps darting the fact that what she did was both hurtful and illegal. I'm not trying to fight.
Not sure what's wrong with this post but will go ahead and post it.
Why doesn't she talk it out if she has a problem? She just insists I live a horrible life cuza her.
Watch her find she's wrong only if it were too late.
I don't know if her thing with my mom is a false alarm or what. My mom is not that bad but different from Ellen. Wow! It's not like Ellen is protecting me from her, so don't even try and say that's what it is if it's not.
At least, I found Ellen was different from my mom. Is there something wrong with my talking to others for my social needs, too? Look, I'm being nice and only am mad when it makes sense. I am not here to bow down to Ellen.
I do try to be nice, but no one "likes" me. I'm considered very polite in real life. I am compared to people online, too, who do questionable things..
It seems it's a first impression problem and a misunderstanding of right and wrong. I didn't realize she was so big on Jesus. Those people are usually understanding.
She seems vehement against my mom telling me things are okay, like I think too. Why can't the being mean to me stop, tho?
Ellen keeps darting the fact that what she did was both hurtful and illegal. I'm not trying to fight.
Not sure what's wrong with this post but will go ahead and post it.
Why doesn't she talk it out if she has a problem? She just insists I live a horrible life cuza her.
Watch her find she's wrong only if it were too late.
I don't know if her thing with my mom is a false alarm or what. My mom is not that bad but different from Ellen. Wow! It's not like Ellen is protecting me from her, so don't even try and say that's what it is if it's not.
At least, I found Ellen was different from my mom. Is there something wrong with my talking to others for my social needs, too? Look, I'm being nice and only am mad when it makes sense. I am not here to bow down to Ellen.
I do try to be nice, but no one "likes" me. I'm considered very polite in real life. I am compared to people online, too, who do questionable things..
It seems it's a first impression problem and a misunderstanding of right and wrong. I didn't realize she was so big on Jesus. Those people are usually understanding.
Problem
Ellen made something to remember in a year cuz she's a spoilsport about what I said or did.. what was it? Oh, I was just upset about her the whole time in the shower, which technically is none of her beeswax ever. I was just upset in general. She'd throw a fit if someone did this to her. How violent! This is not a qualified thing to do. I just don't trust in these people. I don't have a problem.
Problem
Ellen my have me feel m*****ed because once I joked around with the word m********** on her board about her. I didn't mean to start anything. I didn't realize it'd be there that she'd see and care, probably, and meant what I said, not in a sarcastic way, just a factual term. Anyone who lives according to first impressions and such would know this, but Ellen didn't make this obvious.
Wonder Why
my dad is so mean
He's also trying to emulate someone I like. He generally is an irritation to me, particularly when mean so often.
I don't care what you think, but I have to talk about it. It feels *** to listen to you and not to. I bet it isn't right.
He's also trying to emulate someone I like. He generally is an irritation to me, particularly when mean so often.
I don't care what you think, but I have to talk about it. It feels *** to listen to you and not to. I bet it isn't right.
Now What?
My mom made a noise like hurting and I went with it.
I don't know how to control my temper, anymore. My life never recharges at 100%. It just keeps getting worse. Even if I'm positive, I get attacked. They find some way to really bother me. Why does everyone laugh at me when I say I want anger pills and I don't get them? I don't need thought disorder pills. I ended up being found out for being upset, not my original way of having thought disorder when I was depressed. I can get used to it, maybe, but this *beep* is eating too much outta my life already! I know everyone else is very sensitive to these things and so people let them alone cuz they're white or don't try to act white if they're not.
They just came in and made fun of me like I don't deserve anything as an Aryan person. They acted pathetically, too, like, "Ugh, really.. you say that now?" I don't believe in that as being right! How would you like to be another race that is considered exterminable?
Anyway, I don't think I meant for it to go 100%. I was mad tho at how my mom supposedly had to act. They are putting the brunt on her, just so it looks like no one really did it.
So, I'm very sorry for anything that may have happened. Hopefully, I make it thru supper. Fine, pretend to hurt me! I just want things okay, but if you need anything, I mean if it's okay help yourself to it.
Maybe, zoning out the world with earplugs helps..
Well, as for hurting me, I guess that'd make you feel like a bad person, so that won't fix anything.
I don't know how to control my temper, anymore. My life never recharges at 100%. It just keeps getting worse. Even if I'm positive, I get attacked. They find some way to really bother me. Why does everyone laugh at me when I say I want anger pills and I don't get them? I don't need thought disorder pills. I ended up being found out for being upset, not my original way of having thought disorder when I was depressed. I can get used to it, maybe, but this *beep* is eating too much outta my life already! I know everyone else is very sensitive to these things and so people let them alone cuz they're white or don't try to act white if they're not.
They just came in and made fun of me like I don't deserve anything as an Aryan person. They acted pathetically, too, like, "Ugh, really.. you say that now?" I don't believe in that as being right! How would you like to be another race that is considered exterminable?
Anyway, I don't think I meant for it to go 100%. I was mad tho at how my mom supposedly had to act. They are putting the brunt on her, just so it looks like no one really did it.
So, I'm very sorry for anything that may have happened. Hopefully, I make it thru supper. Fine, pretend to hurt me! I just want things okay, but if you need anything, I mean if it's okay help yourself to it.
Maybe, zoning out the world with earplugs helps..
Well, as for hurting me, I guess that'd make you feel like a bad person, so that won't fix anything.
What It Is
I don't really care about what it is, but I can't let this start to happen. My mom is m*****ing me.
What are you (no one) here for?
I'm not staying out of college only to lose my parents's relationship.
I was talking to my parents at supper and I said something I wouldn't say in front of someone else.
My mom started acting *** around me. She acted like Ellen said since I got upset so long in the car she won't stop. She stares in my face like my oldest aunt did sometimes once driving her around visiting here.
Ellen and someone else has a little rule where if you get upset at something you do it forever. Shut the *beep* up whoever did that. You were mean to me. What the *beep* could I do?
They are threatening my relationships, too, with my mom.
Go call your mommy and go home!
I was talking to my parents at supper and I said something I wouldn't say in front of someone else.
My mom started acting *** around me. She acted like Ellen said since I got upset so long in the car she won't stop. She stares in my face like my oldest aunt did sometimes once driving her around visiting here.
Ellen and someone else has a little rule where if you get upset at something you do it forever. Shut the *beep* up whoever did that. You were mean to me. What the *beep* could I do?
They are threatening my relationships, too, with my mom.
Go call your mommy and go home!
I feel like I'm "sucking up" but
I tried not to squirm in the car.
The movie was a private ordeal.
What else.. I forget.
I wasn't hurting anyone.
The movie was a private ordeal.
What else.. I forget.
I wasn't hurting anyone.
Makin' Life Hard and Not Work out for Me
They are acting like I'm a baby and they are m*****ing me. They are ruining my relationships.
Issue
Ellen supposedly said, "No," to my dad for something I did that wasn't all that bad in meaning or whatever at the table.. How do you think that goes? Just, "no.." as in "I meant.." such and such. It all started when something happened around the same time I caught her off. I thought she couldn't get enough, men. Doesn't its seem sad and wrong? That's that again, her on full steam cuz she knows her dad's from out-of-the-U.S. No offense, tho, just saying I see her do this. If she can't do it in front of others, it gets done behind their backs.
Physical Violence
They're slicing my stomach (and threatening more now) so it's like Ellen's fantasy of pumping upward as a mini person, like bellying up as a kid.
Another Message
A secret message about me putting my old blogs up when my older aunt seemed to have an issue about me getting new ones.
It doesn't stop.
They said someone has to be stimulated over me who's older and said, "But, wait, I don't get you hypnotized."
Problem
My youngest aunt on my dad's side I think blew a fuse and told a relationship to tell me "not to tell" when they do something questionable cuz they mean it.
That was my whole problem. I post it on my Problems blog to try to get it "justified." There are no silly rules for keeping a relationship. That's like slavery. I don't see other people run into this in life in most any case that exists.
You could just keep making up things like this. There would be no end. My aunt, I said, "blew a fuse." My family do not know what they're doing. I know from experience they are an "off" experience. I was the one who came out sound and nice in the end. They are underqualified intelligences when mad/bad.
Also, I really use my Problems blog. I use it to make the world a better place. It cannot be an issue like "stepping on a crack and breaking your mother's back."
I can just see the list of requirements coming down now. This is a silly thing to give up when it's so important. I try to not be mean when I say it, but I'm still clear as to the nature of what's happening.
So, about my relationship. I think these things are just nonsensical. I should ignore these spurts of things happening. There's no other way, as it happens. I've experienced things like this before. Bargains still affecting my life, like if I disinfected the toilet seat when I didn't dirty it, not sure what exactly was going on but I stopped, which is a good thing and I had to eventually.
So, I guess I'll have to see what happens and just live life. Again, I'm not being mean. Apparently, they know something is going on, and time passes and things never really seem right.
I think the last thing I said was because it was wrong and a constant nuisance and probably an undue punishment to ruin my life and say it's not important. I mean, come on. The experiment partly ruined my life, not me alone. I'm supposed to be considered good, not be old and decrepit.
That was my whole problem. I post it on my Problems blog to try to get it "justified." There are no silly rules for keeping a relationship. That's like slavery. I don't see other people run into this in life in most any case that exists.
You could just keep making up things like this. There would be no end. My aunt, I said, "blew a fuse." My family do not know what they're doing. I know from experience they are an "off" experience. I was the one who came out sound and nice in the end. They are underqualified intelligences when mad/bad.
Also, I really use my Problems blog. I use it to make the world a better place. It cannot be an issue like "stepping on a crack and breaking your mother's back."
I can just see the list of requirements coming down now. This is a silly thing to give up when it's so important. I try to not be mean when I say it, but I'm still clear as to the nature of what's happening.
So, about my relationship. I think these things are just nonsensical. I should ignore these spurts of things happening. There's no other way, as it happens. I've experienced things like this before. Bargains still affecting my life, like if I disinfected the toilet seat when I didn't dirty it, not sure what exactly was going on but I stopped, which is a good thing and I had to eventually.
So, I guess I'll have to see what happens and just live life. Again, I'm not being mean. Apparently, they know something is going on, and time passes and things never really seem right.
I think the last thing I said was because it was wrong and a constant nuisance and probably an undue punishment to ruin my life and say it's not important. I mean, come on. The experiment partly ruined my life, not me alone. I'm supposed to be considered good, not be old and decrepit.
Problems
I got the message if I give away something wrong someone did to me my family is in danger.
I got another message that someone else is involved in my life with an important relationship I got and being teased I did something to ruin that relationship.
Also, I am getting incoming messages from my Gramma about how I can't like un-American things, probably Ellen-induced. That's not how it's supposed to be. I can tell it's undue punishment. My Gramma is "making it possible" for other Americans to have more of their own relationship with a European in Europe and others by taking from my possible relationship, for no reason justifying it and doing it in fear of her life, mean friends who pushed her to be mean to me. No, that doesn't seem to make it okay to happen however it did. This is the sorta thing you don't do and say. It seems to have been fabricated or materialized. It's funny to have people like your Gramma going along like you're okay a lot of times and then to have them strike out in ways that are defaming. By the way, this word and something before someone knew about 1st may have happened, so they're "in the process" helping being mean to me.
I got another message that someone else is involved in my life with an important relationship I got and being teased I did something to ruin that relationship.
Also, I am getting incoming messages from my Gramma about how I can't like un-American things, probably Ellen-induced. That's not how it's supposed to be. I can tell it's undue punishment. My Gramma is "making it possible" for other Americans to have more of their own relationship with a European in Europe and others by taking from my possible relationship, for no reason justifying it and doing it in fear of her life, mean friends who pushed her to be mean to me. No, that doesn't seem to make it okay to happen however it did. This is the sorta thing you don't do and say. It seems to have been fabricated or materialized. It's funny to have people like your Gramma going along like you're okay a lot of times and then to have them strike out in ways that are defaming. By the way, this word and something before someone knew about 1st may have happened, so they're "in the process" helping being mean to me.
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