Monday, November 7, 2016
What can I do now?
I was quiet today about it, but they keep acting like someone, punishing me, and in place of someone else to me.
It's inappropriate when they use other people in the same sentence of a so-called "punishment."
It feels like some people are negatively taking over my life and inviting others to do so. I think I have some unhealthy relationships. Some people just don't wanna talk to me. We just have this strange supposed connection.
It's inappropriate when they use other people in the same sentence of a so-called "punishment."
It feels like some people are negatively taking over my life and inviting others to do so. I think I have some unhealthy relationships. Some people just don't wanna talk to me. We just have this strange supposed connection.
Unfair
If something happens or just enters my head by accident once, they get at me for what seems almost/sometimes relatively long and scaring me later about it.
Most people seem to settle then and there, to see if it was an issue, and these people act badly a lot. People just figure something is wrong and feel sorry for them.
I'm just saying it's really sad cuz I know I fumbled. They want me to feel even worse, but they don't do this to other people. I don't fully get this regard. It's like going to jail accidentally carrying unpaid merchandise out of a store, not sure what really happens then tho.
Also, they get mad if it involves other people. It's an accident. I also feel awkward that I am so tested like this.
I don't know what to make of this. I feel knocked over, like I'm worthless. I'm frustrated I think for no good reason they are making things hard like this.
I think they just see it with me as black and white, bad and good. That's like saying everyone should just be able to do something. Do you get it? What if you're used to something else? Also, it's not true you can always keep yourself from thinking bad things and maybe something moreso if you have a bad life. It can be easier to keep from actually saying them so much at all. Also, there are other issues, like what people consider, black, white, and gray. Sometimes, people get stressed, etc., too.
Most people seem to settle then and there, to see if it was an issue, and these people act badly a lot. People just figure something is wrong and feel sorry for them.
I'm just saying it's really sad cuz I know I fumbled. They want me to feel even worse, but they don't do this to other people. I don't fully get this regard. It's like going to jail accidentally carrying unpaid merchandise out of a store, not sure what really happens then tho.
Also, they get mad if it involves other people. It's an accident. I also feel awkward that I am so tested like this.
I don't know what to make of this. I feel knocked over, like I'm worthless. I'm frustrated I think for no good reason they are making things hard like this.
I think they just see it with me as black and white, bad and good. That's like saying everyone should just be able to do something. Do you get it? What if you're used to something else? Also, it's not true you can always keep yourself from thinking bad things and maybe something moreso if you have a bad life. It can be easier to keep from actually saying them so much at all. Also, there are other issues, like what people consider, black, white, and gray. Sometimes, people get stressed, etc., too.
Issue
I get treated hurtfully if I think of something bad by accident.
I think my dad wants me to get "punished at age 30" a lot all the time and emotionally harshly because I'm supposedly less sensitive to punishment than others. Also, I don't get it over with right then and there, f.y.i., like most hurried "cases."
There should be some process of leaving the issues, but I am beginning to feel I can't look forward to a clean slate so soon. So, it's like I know now I'm waiting for the unbelievable in attack of emotional stability.
So, my point is there is nothing I can do to alleviate this when things happen that do not seem to really be my fault. I wonder what I am supposed to do. It's like telling me to tell myself I am really worthless. It doesn't happen, and then I get in more trouble.
I think my dad wants me to get "punished at age 30" a lot all the time and emotionally harshly because I'm supposedly less sensitive to punishment than others. Also, I don't get it over with right then and there, f.y.i., like most hurried "cases."
There should be some process of leaving the issues, but I am beginning to feel I can't look forward to a clean slate so soon. So, it's like I know now I'm waiting for the unbelievable in attack of emotional stability.
So, my point is there is nothing I can do to alleviate this when things happen that do not seem to really be my fault. I wonder what I am supposed to do. It's like telling me to tell myself I am really worthless. It doesn't happen, and then I get in more trouble.
Apology
Sorry I am so immature, but I am paranoid schizophrenic and sensitive to me being followed being told I don't fit in.
For specific things, now being my mind went out of control when I felt I knew it would but I kept being or feeling bothered. It concerned someone else when I was mad. It just happened, and I don't want to say it.
What can I do about this?
..I'm also sorry I used a word in the same paragraph as talking about someone else concerning us but about me, using the bad word.
So, I dunno. I can keep trying. You know, people around me were negative growing up, like at maybe some or this one Catholic school. This stuff is in my head. Can you help me? I get in big trouble if I think of something bad by accident. I don't really get in big trouble if it's because I can't help it, but sometimes I think it when mad and it seems like I meant to say that when I never do. The thoughts can jump at me. I mean, I don't say that stuff here.
For specific things, now being my mind went out of control when I felt I knew it would but I kept being or feeling bothered. It concerned someone else when I was mad. It just happened, and I don't want to say it.
What can I do about this?
..I'm also sorry I used a word in the same paragraph as talking about someone else concerning us but about me, using the bad word.
So, I dunno. I can keep trying. You know, people around me were negative growing up, like at maybe some or this one Catholic school. This stuff is in my head. Can you help me? I get in big trouble if I think of something bad by accident. I don't really get in big trouble if it's because I can't help it, but sometimes I think it when mad and it seems like I meant to say that when I never do. The thoughts can jump at me. I mean, I don't say that stuff here.
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