Setting Me Off

I keep having to sit here with people convincing me I am bad.  It's like when you try to relax and it's like you haven't even tried.  You cared about people! and relationships.  And the other side is supported by Jesus thinking they're preaching to me to be nice when they're the ones being mean.

Did you just wanna send a message?

from someone

Issue

I can feel them watching me and making fun of me.

Upset

Sometimes I just want people away from me.

My dad was messing with certain parts yesterday, too, when I was trying to have a nice time with him.

Why do you keep piping in believing I am bad?  Some people really don't seem to care about me as far as some things go.  Why did I wind up being handcuffed?

Why are you so violently sure I should be m*****ed?

Punishment Later

So, I can't like just have someone tell me what I did wrong.  I mean, it's always about me being upset being a bad thing now.  Even if it's on the inside.  At people being mean to me.  I guess it was just "the whole thing," but maybe because I was more pepped against putting  up with stuff.  I'm not living in a bubble mentality.

I care.

I hope my dad doesn't k*** himself trying to punish me for no reason.  Really, sometimes I see him clutch his heart when I feel upset when he tries to punish me for no reason, like in how he drives.  My mom did that, too, drove the car in a way that greatly affected my physically and noticeably.

Problem

You just treat me like trash after all I've done for myself.

Problem

I'm 18 and out, quit bringing up my dad in stupid ways.

I just felt my possible future son lose it!

You fools, my dad is the one who was mean.

This is so stupid.

You don't do this to anyone else.  Why should I give a *beep* about anyone else's kids!  And, yes, actually I used to think kids liked people who were older than them.  In which case I see it's an indefinite situation and for me cuz I'm 1/2 Asian.

Problem

I already said I'm above you.  I do not deserve to be punished.  You can't even come up with an answer.

Problem

You know when you don't want someone to be in your presence in a certain way.. sometimes others push for it?  You aren't doing that to other people.  It's wrong.

Issue

People are all up about me being upset at being hurt all the time like I deserve it, but no one cares about my well-being in this.  They think they are on top of everything and I'm..not?

What?

What does anyone want me to do?

People are upset I don't take their nonsense but they all drag along saying someone else told them to do it.

They constantly made up annoying things to do to me, like what I do doesn't matter.

I mean, come on, what you said can't possibly be right.

I find myself alone on top of this.

I try to calm down.  People just won't stop giving me a hard time.  I don't know what they have in mind, at this point.  I never asked anyone, even my parents, into my "home."  Because of some of you people I kinda don't have a "home."

What about me m********ing or feeling the need to?  You weren't put in the same situation.  You aren't half Asian!  I know in the "new" unapproved ways of thinking, you'd say this paragraph is inappropriate, but it's not..

Problem

Why are you acting like I did something? This is not an appropriate way to live.  What, am I asking a redundant question?

I found they are telling me things to annoy me and take up my time for a long time.

Problem

My dad was violent and thinks I can't escape him.  Well, it wasn't traditional violence.

It's hard to recollect anything.

411

My dad negatively sent me a message from someone as himself in a way to punish me.  Well, that's some 411.  It was from being upset yesterday.  411.  At least, it was in my head and on here.. and I tried not to be negative but was.  You know, he's always acting like he's making fun of me with a Chinese mom like, "Ooh, did you get that one from Mom?"  He's like other boys who try to present themselves as the ideal for others in imposing ways cuz they weren't talked to enough by some people who are wary around him maybe or that he doesn't get to see the type much of.  I actually side with these individuals and encourage them to have a "start."  They keep telling me my normal, careful way of posting is wrong, too.  They just don't want me to win.

Problem

They are being sick saying my dad is me, like I'm his specimen.

Problem

My dad is being nasty for no good reason and racist.

In my blog..

..I was upset at someone, but it was about some fact someone relayed, unsure if it's a mutual consensus.

Apology

I was trying to protect myself and I got confused really fast and acted like something was like against someone when I was doing something physical.

Slamming It In?

I'd better be careful, they are telling me to do more things, hope not to be not like me in bad ways.

Problem

I was feeling uncomfortable and overly ***ed up, and they said, "Oh, your dad did it."  He's not supposed to.  What, is he "magic?"

Problem

Why do you seem so comfortable talking to me and wasting my time and throwing me off my activities?

They are suggesting I should not have talked about Bella even tho we both wanted me to.