Well..

..I can see why they did it, to remember the night.  I just liked the old picture.  I hope it's for them because if that's what they want.

Is this adding up?

What'd I do, now?  Someone changed their name to a Halloween thing just now, probably because someone just got married.  I can't have someone manically chasing me down for reporting what they do to me, supposedly.  That's not wrong.  It shows they might be wrong.

Scribble

Isn't it actually rather grotesque to have your "family" prostrating themselves amongst others?

I hope I haven't ruined Halloween.

At the end of the race..

Imagine my relationships being severed by "interpreting" what I read.  I was hinted not to use any names but know that someone will say I have an attitude when I don't and can.  Just another excuse to lose more relationships when I was always in every game running.

Tired

I'm getting sick of apologizing and for some obscure bugger of the past.

Tired From the Fire

I feel close to perversion.

I am tired and have yet to trick-or-treat.

What's the point?

What's the point.. there's a diarrhea influx of more secret messages probably connected to experimenting on me now still.

Wow

How much working time do I waste sitting here being upset about the people involved experimenting on me?

Problem

Someone on IMDb got married on Halloween.  I bet someone from the experiment had that happen to annoy me.  I can't attack him on the board, though.. it would be too weird and ruin our friendship.  It's because they had my cousin have a baby on Christmas Eve this coming Christmas and I was upset for the same reason but didn't like attack my cousin even who kinda attacked me but don't take that seriously cuz it'd be a lie.  You know this is a bad thing and makes me very mad.  It might be okay, but it was done for a bad reason.

Problem

My parents are being really annoying to me.

I think they are waiting a typed apology of something they haven't read.

I'm also tired of figuring why I deserve to enjoy watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" or something.

Why do weird things happen to me?  I know it sounds weird to write about.

As for the "apology," I already resolved it.  You can't seem to depend on things like this for some reason.  I guess I could have tried to say it nicer but couldn't think of how then, for some weird reason, probably other people.

Also, they tried to cross my eyes and think I'm trash now along with others.  So, that made me mad.

I was made to feel I can't be something because of my parents but that people bribe my parents to be happy.

You cannot do this to me.  You act like you're the one who has the comfort.  You can't see what the Hell you're doing.

Problems

They just did a whole bunch of shit.  I am just innocently trying to live my life.

Sorry

it comes out rude.  It just goes by faster.  I think it'd take forever to change it.

Mistake

I don't think my brother should have been "made" like that to tempt me to think about it, like that matters.

Maybe, this is all a dream, so then why is my mom so tacky?  Does my dad want her to change?  Why did he inflict things like my brother, my younger girl cousin, my grandma .. on me?

Family

My dad has nothing on my brother.  He supposedly caused him his problems and limitations and seems to be just barking at my mom at any opportunity in secret code making her tacky and not the beautiful woman she once was, like he expects her there.

(You got nothing on me.  What I said is what I said.  You don't go and pick on words like they mean some extra insult cuz maybe you're looking for trouble.)

(This is for my mother.  I didn't mean it defiantly, and you can't tell me what to do cuz you never listen to me when I tell you you are.)

(This post is made for the well-being of a person and not a made up one by my dad.)

Rectifying

I probably owe a lot of apologies.

How do you feel about..

..people going into your private life and not making a good toy out of your favorite character of a movie you like?  Did the company say, "Okay?"  They could have made that decision.  Isn't it sick?  Those people are so perverted.  (Why do I feel Ellen DeGeneres would have a problem with the word "perverted" being used?  I didn't say it meant something particular necessarily, meaning I didn't!)  :(  I can sew, tho.  I think that's what the other table is for.  I was big on paper crafts, as a child.

Why?

Why would my mom get cancer, 1st behind her eye, because of "something I did" to Ellen, when it was not started with something I did?  I was upset about something, my mom got glasses from getting into 2 car accidents.  I just made a joke that wasn't "proper" but made sense only to me.  I went back and apologized and to ask if any reason was seen to take it down.  I went to take it down and it was gone.  I just said Ellen was indeed m*********** in pleasure over my mom's misfortune.  I believe she was, but I don't believe that's how I should have said it.  And I don't think it was really that word.  I don't remember if I blotted out what it was, and it was discussed by me on IMDb on her board under her name.  I guess it got cut out.  So, I thought to myself for some reason, this is adult humor, she can't do anything "about it," anyway, and forgot to add it was adult humor, maybe the meds I'm on are wrong, very possible.

So, why this happen to me?  Am I too invincible for it to have happened to me, yet?  I think I said sorry, too.  I am pretty sure my mom getting glasses has something to do either with Ellen or how I posted that I got glasses on my website before..

I do not wish anyone anything ill and apologize for the misinterpretations in this kidding state of mine.

So, maybe I should be nice.  I was cursing, too, because I felt upset, but I like blotted it out as *beep* or was not talking about a person, worried it'd be about Ellen, I used my dad when he hurt my feelings a lot.

I did not start any of this.  They just got mad at me.

Think about it more.  Why cancer??  Do people know how to give others cancer?

Yes, I do like being nice.  I actually made up a thing where I don't believe in being nice to people who are mean, and that might be what the problem for Ellen would be.  What is so bad about cursing on my own blog?  It wasn't to hurt anyone.  I decided that, too.  I kinda stopped.  I feel manipulated to have thought that would be necessary of me.

Apology

I didn't mean to be suggestive saying it was mean..

Dreams

What are they?

Good Night :0

They want to dress up others as me in spite of me!

It seems

if I stop saying Ellen did it Ellen did it she starts laughing, like if I try to ignore it.

I don't get it.

People want to blame the good person for everyone's supposedly unwanted oddities in ways.

Sorry

for the confusion using a bad word

Upset

I kept rattling my stuff and was worried about my mom and lost my mind about my dad.  Please pray.

No Offense

I know I said Ellen gave my mom cancer, possibly by accident but not possibly not.  It's not a nice thing to say, but I don't know how to explain myself.  It's not really okay, but I'm not gonna do anything bad to her.  If it was accidental or she didn't do it, I hope she's okay, too.

Problem

My dad also went on sending secret messages like that now I wasn't special.  He's got a problem.

Feel Better About Something

I feel better about not worrying too much about Ellen DeGeneres cuz I just saw her on YouTube.

Having Trouble

Leaving my problems behind.

STOP IT

"Yo Drew;do me a favor bro;vocaro a message wishing my girl a Happy Birth"

UGH

"I wish i was born a demon instead of a human.... or even an angel..."

Problem

Ellen told someone to post "gay guy" at the airport.

Making Me Do Everything, Letting Me Do Nothing I Want

What's this from Ellen, "I know in the end you're gonna win."  Like, I have to make other people beat me fakely?

What I Found

You can always have someone make a person to suffer.  That would mean we'd all be suffering.

Racist!

I will not take anyone's racist bullshit.  No one else does this.  You're racist.

Being in My Life

You know you've gone too far.  Pushing me to get mad.  Taking out what in my life is okay that makes me happy.  You can't even be in my life.  You never talk about this stuff online.  You don't sort out your thoughts in an online journal.

I was upset rationally.

You all had to go and change things.  You won't leave me alone cuz I'm always tired.

Stop

Ellen DeGeneres is attacking me.  Can someone do something about it?  I thought she was nice on the show.  What about my mom getting cancer?  Don't just keep doing what you're doing like that tacky thing!

Stop

She won't stop mimicking her own mom to me.  Ellen had better do her nastiness out in the open so we can know what it is and stop it.  That's why I'm posting this.  They just changed something again on the computer when I finished posting that.  How lame.  Can't you leave me alone, you criminals?  You wasted my life!

Can't you ever be there for someone?

You think I said that Ellen gave my mom cancer somehow, and she thinks it's bad.  Well, I'm just saying I think she did.  And that means everyone will get mad if they find she did.

Maybe, it was coupled with my mom's other hardships.  I don't know how she kept going nor if there were any signs.

See

She's being a perv.  I felt it.

Problem

Ellen just sent me an Asian message to be cute.  I'm serious about this.  I don't like it.

Wrong

Ellen is wrong because she is mean.

Did you know

Ellen is very sensitive to how we treat her mom and an accident is why no one is positive with me to this day?

I can already see

that Ellen did it.  I said Ellen was m********** in pleasure that my mom got glasses from 2 car accidents putting pressure on the area to the side.  What else could have caused it in secret?  And if you wonder about if she didn't do it, it was an accident.  So what if I said that?  She's a conformist.  She probably did that, too.  That's 1 reason I said it.  I posted later it had been adult humor untested.  I went to go remove it almost a year later maybe and it was gone.

Problem

Why does Ellen DeGeneres to think there's a reason to give a snoot that I'm never that good because I'm supposedly spoiled for something that's good and work?  I see them slamming stuff in my face.

1 Thing I Know

You all did something bad I didn't do, and so you feel Ellen is better than you.  You are trying to drag me down to your level.  Admit it.  It's true.  You'd better stop being bad to me.

No, you will not tell me how to live my life.

They want me to stop liking people who look like Ellen, but that's what my life is.  You can't tell Ellen to stop being Ellen.

and

I didn't do anything wrong.  If I did, it was a mistake.

I just seriously said

you can't punish me.

Back

Ellen thinks she can call a guy gay and say, "I did it."

Like, get them outta my life!

I even said so on Facebook they weren't really in it.

I feel people creeping up wanting to kill me for losing control when I was mad at being hurt.  No one is there for me, and they shoulda been before "this" happened.

Mal-Punishment

Punishing me when people are mean to me and I get upset or I indulge in or process private thoughts is already wrong.  I will not give up anything for anyone's lost fantasy for my life.

You do not provide me with a way.  You do not even let me live peacefully.  You all try to test me.  They do.  They do it repeatedly and expect me to say sorry for it.

The Joke

My dad actually is coming out trying to admit that he's in for "the program" that I should be considered too old to look to Late Boom women as a mom.  My mom won't let me use her age, though.

If you didn't understand, he said it in a tacky way, it seemed.  He didn't literally say it but seemed to be getting the message across that Ellen DeGeneres is indeed special and should not have anything to do with me cuz I'm not good enough.

The joke keeps coming up that Ellen DeGeneres is too young to be like a mom to someone my age.

"Did It"

My dad came in and bobbed his head he wanted me to be a case for wanting younger women as my mom.

Problem

They won't leave me alone, they want to talk about this later, like tomorrow.  There's nothing to talk about.

Tweet by Me

Trouble's a brewin'. Some people just can't get enough of what's wrong with them and just aren't there for you..

— Chris A J B (@ChrisAnnJB1986) October 27, 2014

This can't be..

“@COED: Want to feel worse about no #CSI tonight? It means no Lauren Lee Smith (@L_L_S)... http://t.co/cEjFJvRIFS pic.twitter.com/ouOxeB94CM” 😚
— Lauren Lee Smith (@L_L_S) October 27, 2014

I just learned not to

get mad at something.  There is always a better answer.  It was sorta an accident closing the cupboard loudly.  I have to remember my sick mom for that.

:0

What can I do, now?

Problem

They went wacko, my parents, and started talking about school and stuff for my kids being the result of my saying no to suffering a day for thinking of the word k***.  They talked at length suddenly.

Help!

I cannot say for one moment that Ellen nor my dad did not help my mom get cancer ultimately.  Supposedly, it was stress partly from my being upset when she's mean..

Please Pray for My Mom

I made a loud noise after she wailed to stop.  It's so easy to do.  I have no self-control ingrained in me, I'm a blank slate.

Feeling Bad

Maybe, when you're with other people it's okay, but my dad rubbed in my older aunt as opposed to Ellen and people her age as being associated with me being my generation.  I don't feel well about it.  He said that's what I have to think about tomorrow.  It makes me feel bad.

He did say it in a joking way, but he still said it.

Lame

My neighbors just ruined my life.

Apology

I hope you are okay, whoever is watching.. can't see why not.  I did say, "Nigger" to them.  I could not stop being mad about Ellen punishing me when I was good.

Apology

I can only hope and pray everyone is alright.  Let me extend myself to an extended set of people who are not in my life and that things with them are going fine.

A Lady at the Store

was flipping me off and thought since she had bright pimples that she was really fairer and better than me, but when I got mad the pimples on my face turned that.

I can see

her brush aside everything I say like I have to curse in caps to get her attention so she can tell me to go away.  Ellen.

Sick

MAKE HIM TAKE IT BACK

My dad said, "If it's not Barb, tomorrow, it's not."

Stop

Ellen DeGeneres cannot act like I did anything wrong and then "punish" me.  Stop lying when you act sweet, you are mean, and you insist it is if I don't believe that's what it's for.  I mean this in a strong way.  Stop brushing it off as stupid chiming.

My dad sold some shit when he sent secret messages with the noises he made saying things like my daughter is "not even the sea."  And Ellen is "not even my sister" funning around I'm tiny so much but younger kids have it good with attractive people like Ellen's age.

I've been terrorizing my room and knocked down my spotlight lamp with a blanket, pondering on Ellen and her stupid punishments.

My dad came in here and asked if he could help, and I still don't feel good.  I don't wanna waste my life doing shit.

All I did was come in the room and act like I was saying, "Stop it," over and over for saying there would be no tomorrow because the word "kill" was used with me by neighbors as I came home.  They tried to pull out my bottom and legs because I was upset Ellen had cute boobs because I believe she took mine away a long time ago.  I'm worth shit now!

You can't keep saying Late Boomers and their younger kids generation are better!

STOP!

Ellen is having my dad not answer me sometimes.

Yup

My dad is talking with an attitude like he's mad.  I told/asked him.

Something Else

Ellen does that we're not supposed to do to her

She imagines me asking something like some kid with a ball in its stomach looking up with a small, thick, wet nose.  Stop getting me close to my dad, too, in bad ways.  Just because I said something you are gullible and listen to what you think my Gramma believes and then you "do it again" and actually that's ill.

STOP RUINING MY LIFE

MY DAD IS COMING IN ACTING LIKE I DESERVE THIS, TOO

STOP IT

MY DAD IS BEING SICK AND WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, HE HAS AN ANNOYING SNIDE ATTITUDE THAT IS UNATTRACTIVE

HE WANTS ME TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OLDER PEOPLE AND OTHERS YOUNGER - STOP IT - IF OTHER PEOPLE LOOK LIKE SHIT IS THEIR DEAL NOT MINE, THEY WON'T LISTEN ANYWAY - STOP BEING VIOLENT TOWARDS ME

PROBLEM

STOP JUST LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TELLING ME I CAN'T DO ANYTHING

STOP IT

YOU AREN'T IN MY PERSONAL LIFE LIKE THAT YOU SICKO

ANNOYING

NO ONE HAS TO BE MEAN TO ME - STOP SPREADING YOUR GERMS

STOP IT

STOP IT - THEY WON'T STOP BOTHERING ME..  DIDN'T I ALREADY SAY THAT?

STOP

MY MOM KEEPS INSULTING ME TALKING WITH THE NOISES SHE MAKES

MANIACS

MY MOM WON'T STOP

SHE HAS A "MESSAGE FROM ELLEN" I CAN'T BE WHITE NOW, YOU'RE WRONG

STOP IT

I DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO YOU ALL

QUIT IT

ABUSING ME - STOP TEARING UP MY BODY - ELLEN STOP DOING STUFF TO US AND SAYING WE CAN'T FIGHT BACK

I JUST TOLD YOU YOU WERE BEING BAD AND MY FAMILY

Problem

Looks like my dad is being suggestive, like his oldest sister, about Ellen DeGeneres, pleasuring her.

Problem

They startled me with a noise.  You keep coming in and bothering me and I don't care about what you all do.

Problem

These people are acting like they have something on me when I don't say what they do.  They changed something more quickly this time, too.  This is sick.  And it's for Ellen.  It should stop.  I need my real life.  I'm not gonna die like this.

Problem

There are weird ads on IMDb, too, of nonwhite people with their mouths injured or grown the wrong way.  I even saw Ellen think, or have a dream, about it on the show.  I sense this is for a stupid reason, like going to Disney when my aunt supposedly wasn't coming and then said to my dad she'd tell me later.  Ellen just messes up my life.  I want real friends!  Everyone just follows Ellen like a zombie.

Problem

These people watching me in my room are being silly and won't be quiet.

I care even less.

I care even less if it has anything to do with my irrational dad being mad.

Problem

Yesterday, Ellen DeGeneres took happiness in having a poster tell me she wants me dead, and now a poster I just said I liked put up a "Siamese" (like Asian) cat as his profile pic.  She can't tell a person who likes being white they are Asian.  I don't care about what the show says, it's wrong.  This was nasty, and there was no reason to do this.  I don't care about being safe and that someone else does it because I hate on them, too, or sometimes am able to ignore it if it seems like an accident.

There's more.

Now, the ads won't go away on Yahoo! Mail.

Website Update

Help

Took off a name.

I mean no harm.

Problem

My dad talked about slapping with my daughter.  I want him to shut up.

They won't stop.  What's your problem, being mean all the time?  I'm not trying to talk to you.

Why are you talking?  I thought I was alone.

STOP IT

WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME THE BLOODY HELL ALONE

I was just thinking of ignoring the shitty messages I get so I won't be bothered, and they came on triumphant.  I will never be manipulated by you, you sick immature people.

Your rules are all connected to your own sin.

WHY WON'T YOU STOP

Problem, Again!

My dad was reclining (STOP IT) on the sofa for Ellen looking fat and stupid and cozy to represent me, like I had to check Twitter when I didn't start the BS.

What?

You're confident you were good to me?

What'd I do, now?

I guess I didn't care what was said about thinking of v*******.  I gave them the opportunity to take it back, but they didn't.  :(  They are making me look bad.  I have been trying to keep to myself somewhat.. I wonder if that walk didn't help.  I won't feel I deserve anything, in the end.  I mean, I live a certain way.  I want certain things.  Like, I want to be influential again in the arts and told I did a good job.  I want pleasant meetings with people and not have me end up like this!  I'm trying to be a certain personality!!

STOP IT AND LEAVE ME ALONE

Problem

I got some shitty messages via Twitter.  Against my liking Florida by Ellen.  Like having kids.  What's her problem?

More

I think Ellen made my cousin not join my page.. but I dunno, it didn't automatically add her.

STOP

STOP RUINING WHAT MY RELATIONSHIP WAS AND LOADING THE PAGE FUNNY

So..

..Maybe, I should remember later I can post this on my blog.  Why should it matter if you did something to me I can't do to you?

My dad is dangerous.

He threatens to hurt anyone who's not mean to me.

Get him to not be able to do that cuz it's working.

I was thinking..

..he's a bit stupid like his parents said (SHUT THE HELL UP!!) but he wants to be left alone to have a good time without people flirting him into them instead.

:(

So, what?  Stop trying to get my dad close.

Do you want me to forget you?  Yes, I thought of s****ing, but you made fun of how I did that to my mom.

You can't bother me like that.

What can I do to get this to stop?

Not Sure

Guess I forgot you think it's okay you don't like mental violence.  I thought of a s*** when my mom thought my future baby would be shit and not someone else, too.

More Problems

I t****** you for calling my future baby affected and fat from my dad and for making the feeling of harmed, poor boys into my future kid on the right, the boy now.. when I was dressing and on one foot!  You're a sicko!  Need I say more?  You are not right to be mean to me.  I don't care.  I'm not gonna keep saying this.  My therapist does squat!  And you associated those boys with a rattle and more happened this morning!  GO AWAY!

Is anyone out there okay??

Is anyone out there okay??  I'm so sorry..  I just do this and think it's not like I'm invading anyone but rather putting forth.

What did I do wrong?  I didn't call anyone anything, and *beep* is okay.

:(

Problem

I can't have them bothering me and wasting my life!

You know,

I talked about it online, and I don't want to hear about it in the morning.

Problem

You got hung up on something.  Nothing just happened.  Go help yourself.  You're a real problem.

Problem

STOP CHANGING THE WAY MY COMPUTER WORKS AND I SAID TO SHUT THE HELL UP

Problem

I SAID STOP

Problem

I SAID STOP YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES HAVING ME TYPE THIS!

Problem

I can see people gaping, but I'm not the one with a problem.  I said stop talking to me like that!

Problem

I SAID STOP.  YOU CANNOT COME IN HERE.

AND STOP BEING SHITTY AND ASIAN AROUND ME.

Problem

I just told you to stop, I'm not a "nigger!"

Problem

You have to listen to me.  Stop talking.  You said I didn't study so you could waste my time.  This is not gonna be my stinkin' life you *beep*!

Problem

The people experimenting on me hate me.  I already said they were simple racists.

I didn't ask my parents to come into my life like this.  This is all because of that silly Nell thing, thinking they wanted me to call her something literally.

Problem

I'm sick and tired of dealing with the experimenters's attitudes.  I thought it could be fun, but I'd guess not.

So

You think you're better?  I see the way your eyes turn down, end of sentence, end of story, but that's just what I saw..  I feel like I'm begging, when I'm not..

I'll tell you "what" the message was and still is.  They had some food sitting on top of something, and the big picture was like my dad would have stimulated me in bad ways.  For some reason before, he asked more nicely if I had something to say after strangely asking "how I was."

Now, why don't you get those people for acting like I'm some strange fantasy of Ellen "telling an adult something," with a ball for a stomach and tilting my head up like I'm a snowman or something?  She won't stop!!

Problem

So, I got mad in the kitchen and thought a lotta things by accident but was able to think normally once at the beginning.

I found a lot of symbolic messages.

Ellen sent me a message on her show, too, that matched.  Most kids don't have to put up with their parents.  (They just made the button blink as I posted that, like Ellen matters and now my desires and me as a person don't.)  I was a good girl and things were going well at age 3 and 4 and a bit before until my little brother was born.  They thought he was not as good as me, and people keep trying to turn it around!  I don't need a *beep* whoop made of this!

I feel so mad.. it felt like I was getting cancer.  Why can't my parents leave me the Hell alone?  And yes I am here to socialize with them but from time to time, not like I'm my dad's toilet hole.

Website Update - Problems

They played around with my nose and made one side thinner at the nostril and said I did something to deserve it.

What do you think of the extremity

others go through to be mean to me because they are scared of what my dad would do to them so much if they didn't, like it would make a difference in the end?  Isn't that criminal mastermind at work?

Bad

I thought bad words again but not as bad as before at least.

Problem

The experimenters won't stop making noises to bother me.  It seems very physical.  They can stare at me and study me, and I don't have to do anything.  It triggers a negative reaction in me and inflicts great pain.

PROBLEM

They are trying to knock me out with my personal sensing and tell me I did something to them.  I just want to defend myself.  They are the ones who did something.

Problem

They are being sick trying to punish me for what I thought.  I need to think!

Apologies

I thought some pretty far strung things about people being mean to me and making my life impossible.

Tapering Away

Is my anger tapering away or boiling up in a pot in some remote area?

Concern

I hope any person out there is okay.  I think it would be better if people also started learning how to communicate online.

Apology

I didn't mean to be mean to you, but I was.  That's because you were bothering me, that's all!  I don't mean any harm..

I disagree.

The people experimenting on me are subhumanist because they are racist.  They think I am a different race.  And they think it isn't Caucasian and therefore not white.  They are probably look more inappropriate than I do.  They think I am below an animal.

They just made a noise that stimulated my chair how I'm on.

They are being blase and keep treating me like I'm not white.

My chair isn't unstimulating.

You can't bother me!

Weird

I see products that seem to be related and it seems weird to rub it in as an insult, like someone did it, like someone bribed companies to do it, someone with money.

Sad

I did mention Ellen a lot, but at least it's a help blog and it's just trying to iron out kinks or talk it out..

Problem

Every time I click something, they hate back at me pretending they are Ellen.  And if Ellen saw this she'd laugh and say she still did it somehow.

Stop

"putting me" stupidly in the wrong position.  I just didn't like the sneakiness that people are rubbing in that my cousin having a baby will affect who my baby is!

This is getting bad.

I guess Ellen thinks little things call for big punishments and she hisses to herself on "how it's related."  I wish I could stop, but I feel it hurting.  I know there's nothing wrong with talking it out.  That's all I grew up knowing how to do.  I don't have anything to lean on.

Coming to Me

little messages from Ellen are flooding me in my room, this 1 message

Apology

for if what I said was translated to hurt anyone and for being crass.

Why do you all

hold grudges about nontangible things?

Wrong

I'm not good just to be good.  I have freedom of speech and limits.  I never get treated well in exchange for good behavior.

People are lying to me.

That I should worry about people hurting me in certain ways and I deserve it.

Fact

Ellen acts like I can't be praised for doing something good, anymore, like I'm selfish and others don't have a chance who are younger.  Other people probably do that.

Teasing Me

They are teasing me that I will never get out of this experiment, which sucks.

You people are just..

..you want to rub in that I will not have "the baby" I'm supposed to have.

So Lame

I don't feel like calling my Gramma.

It's like Ellen knows all about everyone I know and landed in the situation.

I'm thinking

I need to be wrapped and bundled up in my room to regain sanity.

I hit the machine at the gym and computer.  Not hard the computer.  Not too hard the machine.

This is pathetic.

Why does this even happen?  "What" I do does not stand out badly.  People are mean to me.

Problem

My dad went out of the way to think about going back to the gym with me in a few days.

Problem

Why can my cousin have a baby?  I can't go to the gym with my dad?  What's gotten into him?

I know I know

My dad was making it hard again..

You teased me about me having kids being affected by my cousin.

Crrazy

Yes, I do not mean what I said, but my dad was being irrational and disgusting because of Ellen and it kinda slipped and it made sense cuz he said I could not go to the gym, but my cousin could have a baby whose always been a selfish person.

Problems

My dad seems worried about my Gramma and wants me to prostrate for my bratty little cousin.

Problem

Why are people acting like Ellen is to be worshiped like a pagan god?  Like they "go all out" silly for her.

Problem

You can't just be mean to me.  My cousin wants to ruin my life.  I won't accept it.  And I'll feel what I'll feel about what she does to me.  Ellen did it.  She should be stopped.  It shouldn't affect my life.

Also

They're making up stuff probably to death.

What She Is

She's just prejudiced and spoiled.  She is attracted to my cousins with light hair and young moms.

Problem

They're bothering me, still.  Like, what did I do?  The only real thing I could say was my dad saying I can't go to the gym cuz I got irritated, but I wasn't violent.  He got mad and said he could have called the police for me telling him to leave me alone.  I joked that my usually misbehaving and usually punished cousin was too young or not mature enough for a baby right now and that means abortion, but I mean she was rubbing it in like she wants to affect my family.  That's what I was trying to talk to my dad about, but he just got mad at me weirdly and was mimicking me.

cont.

He thought I was immature to go to the gym.

Problem

I just got sassed by Ellen.  You can't pay these minions to torture me for you.  I could get you arrested.

Bad Things

Dad - I should not have gotten so mad?

Ellen - I just talked a lot about how I feel.  I think she keeps forgetting she sent me a bombardment of insults just to laugh at me and think that prepares me alone with nothing, nothing good to make me think positive, like I'm able to think of that when I'm being bullied and can't seem to stop it, and that's what the problem was today.

OK

I should go back and see if I said anything bad about anyone.

Cornering Me

I feel threatened in leading a good life.  What is everyone's problem?  No, you cannot be "forgiven."  It's not okay to keep doing it.

To Sum Up

I got a lot of negative messages in fact via my dad etc. from Ellen DeGeneres.

Problem

Ellen thinks she can do whatever she wants.

She made me think my mom was ***.

Weirdos

Why are you rubbing in bad feelings about when I interact with younger people?  A singer did this.  They are all so dorky.  Maybe, they really can't sing.  Don't you dare get back at me for my freedom of speech.  They just want to look cute and get affection.

You act like I have to worship them and like right now I'm probing my desires.  No, the fact is you don't accept me.  You want to be associated with a generation below me.

Anyway, the thing about the singers was important because singers are nice, but divas are trouble.  About not being able to sing, I mean maybe they just aren't really exactly what they're cracked up to be.

What She Thinks

She always makes her thoughts seem right.

But she judges me and hurts me for my dad being born about 10 years before her and my mom's race.  We should leave her be, but I still wanna watch her on TV.

I don't think I will listen to Ellen.

Problem

My dad brought up something.  I don't feel well, and a certain thought came to me that actually makes sense.  I think Ellen is patterning insults to me for no reason and doesn't care if I die of cancer from it because of when I was trapped in the house eating burgers.  My dad thinks I thought of myself independent from her, and I won't accept any weird fantasy like she's younger than me.

I can see the insults being laid out by her like 1 2 3, and I do find it selfish already.

Nice

I'm nice.  People here are all so mean.  Ellen, you did it.

I don't even mean

to be mean to anyone.

Won't Admit/Influencing

My dad won't admit Ellen influenced him to not take me to the gym cuz I said to leave me alone when he was irritating me.

She thinks she's being flashy and in style.  She wants to tease me by being happy on the show that I'm watching and does this as an excuse to take it away and ruins my life in the process.  I wonder if this is her last straw.

Website Update - Problems

Some really bad news, Ellen thinks I could have been great but that maybe I'm just trash.  She is uptight, ignorant.., and knocked off.  Maybe, she's no better than my parents.  I see the selfishness in their hate.

Trying to Make Me Feel Unnecessarily Guilty..

..They said I won't have the baby I want.  "I'm not gonna have it."  Whatever the *beep* that means.  That's incredibly rude.  Ellen, you are mean to me all day every day.  What's your problem?  You had to take it off the show.

My Day

It was rather going up, and my dad asked me to talk, so I talked about Ellen influencing my cousin to have a baby, and he just grunted and squeaked, no deep thoughts.  Of course, I didn't mention Ellen until later.

I don't care.

You keep being mean to me, this certain person.

So what if I moved my pants around in the bathroom?  Arrest me!

You have everything there for you and you don't put up "with pops."

Website Update

Problems

They are constantly trying to act cute by being mean.

My Issue

My dad is just a mean racist, and Ellen was talking to him and he said she wasn't.  That's sick, Ellen, why did you do that to me?

Website Update

Problems

Ellen rubbed in that she wants to affect my future children negatively, by not making them who I want them to be and "controlling" it herself or changing what it was or should be, which is a stupid idea simply not sure if I should say it any other way, by having my cousin have a baby when she's young and very carefree.

link

Stop talking to me.

You can see me and I can't see you.  I just wanna hit something.

Problem

My dad is being stupid and hyperactive like my cousin to annoy me.  He keeps getting in my life too much.  He threatened not to take me to the gym.  I told him to stop bothering me and others in there.  I was just talking about my cousin having a baby.

Problem

They are threatening to punish me for 2 or 3 days (until I go to Disney.)

Problem

They are threatening me to put someone in my life and won't shut up besides!

Stop?

Some people just can't stop calculating numbers that don't mean anything.

People were indeed being mean to me about Italian.  I posted it online like a good girl or a proper and honest lady.  It's a blog.  It's my blog.

I can't believe anyone listens to the inklings of others like this.

Italians do some things that no one else does.  I don't want there to be no hope for me, for speaking the truth, too.

Apology

I ended up thinking of bad words.

Problem

Just because Tim Burton's daughter's mom is different, my dad is acting too close to me in a way I don't like.  ..to make her seem as much like Tim Burton as possible.

At Them

I don't think my mom gives 2nd chances to dishonest people.

I hate when my dad tries to talk to me and reacts to my mood like he cares.  It hurts me even to make a noise that rejects his torture cuz it's affecting him or what he judges as the interaction.

Trying to Trick Me

They are making me feel sorry for my cousin and trying to make my life bad like hers.  Just an excuse for some approval in their way, which makes me a loser.  I already am nice.  I don't know what your problem is.  I don't want to be like people you'd think.

Making Sense

What I say makes sense.  You just debunk me like an old robot at anything I say cuz you're racist and you know I'm right.

Problem

Ellen posted on a Saturday on Faceook, and I found it after my cousin's post.  I think she is rubbing in that my cousin will get what I deserve.  She is acting like I don't deserve anything and that I'm bad, when I was just mistreated at school and therefore felt bad.

It's like my cousin will get some deep feeling she thinks I don't deserve, but these people might all be ***.  There shouldn't be any better and worse.

My dad is onto my cousin.  He is crazy.  He thinks I have to worship her, and she's annoying to me.  Her mom is his littlest sister.

So, what, no more Ellen DeGeneres left?  Either there is or there isn't.

How stupid can you be?

I wasn't crazy, I was upset because people were hurting me so leave me the beep alone.

Problem

Why are people so interested in taking away all I have, how I feel.  These Italians won't keep back.  I know there are many pretty and happy Italians, not sure what part of Italy..

Problem

They said I shouldn't have pink skin cuz I posted against otherwise.