Living With Guilt

People who curse and yell won't let me live a little.  They were mean to me 1st.  I wasn't mean to them.  I just felt abused socially.

It's not taboo to talk about it.  It might help fix it and not have it happen again.

I pinpointed what this was and didn't have to say who it was, tho you probably know if you read it..  My point is I think they're making a big deal out of it to start with.  The question is am I guilty or are they?  I should avoid these things, but I was ordered to come over, almost wasn't gonna.  I blended pretty well when being abused into the environment, how I felt bad.  If I don't wanna do something optional, whyever do it? I mean visiting people who are upset with me and don't care that much about seeing me.

Nothing wrong with posting like this.  I'm trying to fix the dilemma.  Someone thinks I should just go along and can't think and come to the conclusions.  If I didn't post about it here, how would I prevent other things from happening cuz I'm not?

And why make me feel "guilty" when people were mean to me?  Is this the new way of thinking?  Did you change it in the process?  (I'm not being sarcastic.)

This post is an F, but it the meat looked good.  Like, saying how I am not talking to them since they have something with me.  I think others do, too..  Should I not talk to anyone specifically?  I think I had it unfair.  Everyone knows, but they think me feeling like this is okay.

There, this was actually a pretty sensible, impersonal post, in a way.

I feel I have to make it out on my own.

Well..

Who's convinced they should get "involved" in me?

I was let alone, and then people started abusing me on the streets riling me up since 2006.

Another Grudge

They got me upset on the inside at age 2, and my Grandma is secretly involved..  I didn't want to walk on the beach and take off my shoes so I wouldn't have to clean my feet like some animal in front of my relatives.  I felt abused and like not as good because of my parents.

Talk about..

..holding a grudge.  How pathetic.  I didn't even mean it.  I had an abused childhood.  I probably was not as sharp.  "Not even a human?"

Problem

I forgot, I just forgot, to write my cousin in Indonesia, and my mom didn't remind me.  She didn't talk about getting fancy paper like hers, and I didn't know if I should ask.  I was young, had a bad life, and forgot.  My penpal from Russia and Canada also stopped writing to me, 1 before and maybe the other after.  I feel my parents secretly "did things" because of this.

Problem

I said, "Oh, no," when he came home, in a way by accident tho, cuz I was still doing homework, tho he didn't ask why I was upset nor get upset.

My life seems ruined; I felt his looming presence sucking the emotional/mental abilities out of me..  I used to look good and have friends.

Does anyone wanna talk about this?

How can I deal with people who have a grudge on me?

Why are people trying to make me mad just so they can pretend they need to teach me a lesson?

Glitch

Why is there a little dark gray "·" between the name of the blog and the word "Post" when you post?

Problem

So, people are saying I'm not that good.

Did you know my dad wants to use his force on all my life, says "misthoughts" are "misdeeds?"