Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Edited Post
Issue
They went around and suddenly started directing attention of what I was like socially to someone else, like I did something, tho.
They're acting blank, like, "What is it, Christina? Did you ever know it's not always about you!"
Edit Noted: I was worried cuz I'm in trouble, but I guess no one cares.
They went around and suddenly started directing attention of what I was like socially to someone else, like I did something, tho.
They're acting blank, like, "What is it, Christina? Did you ever know it's not always about you!"
Edit Noted: I was worried cuz I'm in trouble, but I guess no one cares.
Issue
They went around and suddenly started directing attention of what I was like socially to someone else, like I did something, tho.
They're acting blank, like, "What is it, Christina? Did you ever know it's not always about you!"
Edit Noted: I was worried cuz I'm in trouble, but I guess no one cares.
They're acting blank, like, "What is it, Christina? Did you ever know it's not always about you!"
Edit Noted: I was worried cuz I'm in trouble, but I guess no one cares.
Problem
My dad made the top of his head tackily exposed and kept bothering me at the kitchen table secretly. I accidentally imagined a little ball hit his head but not too hard. He put out his arm like a baby and crinkled something, like he had to mess up the face of someone I look up to.
I figured my problem was it would affect them, eventually realizing more that they were involved to make it happen. Like, maybe, they were just wasting my time having someone stimulated inappropriately that I look up to cuz my dad can't take me feeling like things are okay.
They keep saying the person I look up to has problems and is being mean to me. I didn't do anything. They just are sensitive to if I get upset about them being stimulated, even if it's about like what I just said. They already are onto me if I have thought of a bad word that I lose the relationship, like some game they are always playing now, like they can't stand it. Now, I feel in trouble with them because of how they manipulated what I thought about being upset they would get stimulated inappropriately for this horrible reason. It does seem like it's against me. I didn't post about it at 1st, but they can't seem to get over it/get over themselves.
I did/do not say they cannot feel good or anything weird like that, and I keep getting that I did the unspeakable. I just wanted to know what bothered me, but my mom was looking at me for some reason, making me feel pressure, when I realized part of it was that the other person was like letting themselves be stimulated in a way that kinda makes me feel bad for them. She was like pointing fingers at me, and I spiraled outta control of shifting my thoughts. Who cares, tho? I didn't mean what they thought. Last night I said they were "stimulated" simply and that I didn't say why yet. I said something like that twice. They thought that was it, and they made me feel like I was not me, going for my hands and arms.
Why am I being punished for, like, nothing? I didn't do what they wish I said so they could be mad at me. If anything is wrong, it's something I can't figure out. I just see my life spiraling outta control in hidden ways. That's ridiculous of my dad to try to be so annoying and "punish" me if I alas think of a bad word even if I don't mean it, when he's the one being mean. He always finds some problem, gladly.
Now, they are acting like this person is off-limits because I was shocked some and simply had the thought that I didn't want them to be stimulated in a bad way that seems for a tiny reason now, like they won't stop watching me annoyingly, my parents and the people spying on me in private. I know it doesn't matter and no one cares about what does. I never said I didn't want them to be stimulated in a way they like!
I think I am in trouble just because I didn't try to make them stimulated in a strongly odd way but I am younger and felt for them a little for the 1st time. I don't see how that makes me evil. I guess I seemed more resolute, but I realized that it wasn't all that. :(
I don't know why they would be more stimulated than me and everyone else in ways that make things like this happen to others, tho, tho I'm not asking for it exactly. I still said it's okay, if it's what they want because it's up to them. No, I don't care if other people do it to/for them if they know how to do it right. I dunno if it takes the sweat of people to make someone stimulated, but I think it must be something complicated and even somewhat beautiful at times or in some ways. I am not annoyed at that person, tho, nor about them exactly. I don't even care if they are stimulated by what happened. I just had a thought! You don't know how I really feel. I was interrupted and being monitored in a weird way apparently. Whatever I did that was unpleasant, I don't mean. If I don't mean it and they are mad, they just are mad I wasn't perfect. They are trying to punish me any way they can cuz it makes them satisfied. They really are trying to get the worst out of me. So, they wait and see if they can twist the truth and use an accidental thought to say what they think I feel about every little thing, without coming out and saying it in real life, sneaky. If a bad thought passes but I don't mean I feel a certain way, they think I am talking and mean that. I actually didn't feel exactly what they think, but like I said I felt interrupted. It is true I wanted to explore what seemed to be big, that it's about finding reasons of me to stimulate someone inappropriately, which is the complex conclusion. It supposedly at 1st was just telling me I was bad so the person I was supposedly attacking could hurt someone I look up to and then have them stimulated inappropriately to make it a punishment to me and not them. I came up with a more combined definition, simply, but I did not mean they could not be stimulated or else I'd be in the peanut gallery getting mad. So, in the end, they get to "feel good" and against me. They can "feel good" to their heart's content, tho I mean. Something else about it just sucks for me.
So, it was a misunderstanding. If it bothers other people, I understand, tho, too.
I'm sorry! I wish I didn't feel so attacked all the time when I come out for lunch with my parents there. I wasn't trying to stimulate myself, but I felt confused. I don't know what to do. If I was someone else and wrote this up, people might be impressed. I'm not, tho, I'm me, and, tho I am nicer, people want to punish me more, like my being good is too unimpressive and I should simply feel like everyone else, which is wrong.
Yes, it took me a lot to describe it, which seems suspicious to others.
They probably think I'm "just trying to get out of it." I already said it was a misunderstanding. They are out to get me. I can figure things out better without their interruption. They don't seem to be as competent "as all get out" in what they think they can be the leader of me in.
They are also going crazy saying if someone seems to be present at a problem, other people take their place to me and I lose them. It's really them causing a problem, and I just want them to stop and they see I feel upset and it goes outta control by them and a bad word pops up in my mind an they know even if I don't mean to think it. That's always why it seems, unless something happens.
So, what am I to do, now? The person I look up to.. Sure, it's too late. I know that I am uncomfortable and feel bad then, more dysfunctional.
Why are my parents so at one with things when I'm not included, like they have to be in the right and I have to be apart in trouble? They are bothering me. I am not even trying to hurt them, but their surprises "beat me to a pulp." I can't see myself being comfortable around them now in a way. I don't want to be in trouble if a curse word is brought to my mind. Before, I didn't really get in trouble for that, so they are just up to something.
So.. let's talk about making this person stimulated how much they need? Well, don't like ignore me and blast it up later, tho, in a weird way. I already care about people in that way and especially this person.
I figured my problem was it would affect them, eventually realizing more that they were involved to make it happen. Like, maybe, they were just wasting my time having someone stimulated inappropriately that I look up to cuz my dad can't take me feeling like things are okay.
They keep saying the person I look up to has problems and is being mean to me. I didn't do anything. They just are sensitive to if I get upset about them being stimulated, even if it's about like what I just said. They already are onto me if I have thought of a bad word that I lose the relationship, like some game they are always playing now, like they can't stand it. Now, I feel in trouble with them because of how they manipulated what I thought about being upset they would get stimulated inappropriately for this horrible reason. It does seem like it's against me. I didn't post about it at 1st, but they can't seem to get over it/get over themselves.
I did/do not say they cannot feel good or anything weird like that, and I keep getting that I did the unspeakable. I just wanted to know what bothered me, but my mom was looking at me for some reason, making me feel pressure, when I realized part of it was that the other person was like letting themselves be stimulated in a way that kinda makes me feel bad for them. She was like pointing fingers at me, and I spiraled outta control of shifting my thoughts. Who cares, tho? I didn't mean what they thought. Last night I said they were "stimulated" simply and that I didn't say why yet. I said something like that twice. They thought that was it, and they made me feel like I was not me, going for my hands and arms.
Why am I being punished for, like, nothing? I didn't do what they wish I said so they could be mad at me. If anything is wrong, it's something I can't figure out. I just see my life spiraling outta control in hidden ways. That's ridiculous of my dad to try to be so annoying and "punish" me if I alas think of a bad word even if I don't mean it, when he's the one being mean. He always finds some problem, gladly.
Now, they are acting like this person is off-limits because I was shocked some and simply had the thought that I didn't want them to be stimulated in a bad way that seems for a tiny reason now, like they won't stop watching me annoyingly, my parents and the people spying on me in private. I know it doesn't matter and no one cares about what does. I never said I didn't want them to be stimulated in a way they like!
I think I am in trouble just because I didn't try to make them stimulated in a strongly odd way but I am younger and felt for them a little for the 1st time. I don't see how that makes me evil. I guess I seemed more resolute, but I realized that it wasn't all that. :(
I don't know why they would be more stimulated than me and everyone else in ways that make things like this happen to others, tho, tho I'm not asking for it exactly. I still said it's okay, if it's what they want because it's up to them. No, I don't care if other people do it to/for them if they know how to do it right. I dunno if it takes the sweat of people to make someone stimulated, but I think it must be something complicated and even somewhat beautiful at times or in some ways. I am not annoyed at that person, tho, nor about them exactly. I don't even care if they are stimulated by what happened. I just had a thought! You don't know how I really feel. I was interrupted and being monitored in a weird way apparently. Whatever I did that was unpleasant, I don't mean. If I don't mean it and they are mad, they just are mad I wasn't perfect. They are trying to punish me any way they can cuz it makes them satisfied. They really are trying to get the worst out of me. So, they wait and see if they can twist the truth and use an accidental thought to say what they think I feel about every little thing, without coming out and saying it in real life, sneaky. If a bad thought passes but I don't mean I feel a certain way, they think I am talking and mean that. I actually didn't feel exactly what they think, but like I said I felt interrupted. It is true I wanted to explore what seemed to be big, that it's about finding reasons of me to stimulate someone inappropriately, which is the complex conclusion. It supposedly at 1st was just telling me I was bad so the person I was supposedly attacking could hurt someone I look up to and then have them stimulated inappropriately to make it a punishment to me and not them. I came up with a more combined definition, simply, but I did not mean they could not be stimulated or else I'd be in the peanut gallery getting mad. So, in the end, they get to "feel good" and against me. They can "feel good" to their heart's content, tho I mean. Something else about it just sucks for me.
So, it was a misunderstanding. If it bothers other people, I understand, tho, too.
I'm sorry! I wish I didn't feel so attacked all the time when I come out for lunch with my parents there. I wasn't trying to stimulate myself, but I felt confused. I don't know what to do. If I was someone else and wrote this up, people might be impressed. I'm not, tho, I'm me, and, tho I am nicer, people want to punish me more, like my being good is too unimpressive and I should simply feel like everyone else, which is wrong.
Yes, it took me a lot to describe it, which seems suspicious to others.
They probably think I'm "just trying to get out of it." I already said it was a misunderstanding. They are out to get me. I can figure things out better without their interruption. They don't seem to be as competent "as all get out" in what they think they can be the leader of me in.
They are also going crazy saying if someone seems to be present at a problem, other people take their place to me and I lose them. It's really them causing a problem, and I just want them to stop and they see I feel upset and it goes outta control by them and a bad word pops up in my mind an they know even if I don't mean to think it. That's always why it seems, unless something happens.
So, what am I to do, now? The person I look up to.. Sure, it's too late. I know that I am uncomfortable and feel bad then, more dysfunctional.
Why are my parents so at one with things when I'm not included, like they have to be in the right and I have to be apart in trouble? They are bothering me. I am not even trying to hurt them, but their surprises "beat me to a pulp." I can't see myself being comfortable around them now in a way. I don't want to be in trouble if a curse word is brought to my mind. Before, I didn't really get in trouble for that, so they are just up to something.
So.. let's talk about making this person stimulated how much they need? Well, don't like ignore me and blast it up later, tho, in a weird way. I already care about people in that way and especially this person.
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