Weird

I see products that seem to be related and it seems weird to rub it in as an insult, like someone did it, like someone bribed companies to do it, someone with money.

Sad

I did mention Ellen a lot, but at least it's a help blog and it's just trying to iron out kinks or talk it out..

Problem

Every time I click something, they hate back at me pretending they are Ellen.  And if Ellen saw this she'd laugh and say she still did it somehow.

Stop

"putting me" stupidly in the wrong position.  I just didn't like the sneakiness that people are rubbing in that my cousin having a baby will affect who my baby is!

This is getting bad.

I guess Ellen thinks little things call for big punishments and she hisses to herself on "how it's related."  I wish I could stop, but I feel it hurting.  I know there's nothing wrong with talking it out.  That's all I grew up knowing how to do.  I don't have anything to lean on.

Coming to Me

little messages from Ellen are flooding me in my room, this 1 message

Apology

for if what I said was translated to hurt anyone and for being crass.

Why do you all

hold grudges about nontangible things?

Wrong

I'm not good just to be good.  I have freedom of speech and limits.  I never get treated well in exchange for good behavior.

People are lying to me.

That I should worry about people hurting me in certain ways and I deserve it.

Fact

Ellen acts like I can't be praised for doing something good, anymore, like I'm selfish and others don't have a chance who are younger.  Other people probably do that.

Teasing Me

They are teasing me that I will never get out of this experiment, which sucks.

You people are just..

..you want to rub in that I will not have "the baby" I'm supposed to have.

So Lame

I don't feel like calling my Gramma.

It's like Ellen knows all about everyone I know and landed in the situation.

I'm thinking

I need to be wrapped and bundled up in my room to regain sanity.

I hit the machine at the gym and computer.  Not hard the computer.  Not too hard the machine.

This is pathetic.

Why does this even happen?  "What" I do does not stand out badly.  People are mean to me.

Problem

My dad went out of the way to think about going back to the gym with me in a few days.

Problem

Why can my cousin have a baby?  I can't go to the gym with my dad?  What's gotten into him?

I know I know

My dad was making it hard again..

You teased me about me having kids being affected by my cousin.

Crrazy

Yes, I do not mean what I said, but my dad was being irrational and disgusting because of Ellen and it kinda slipped and it made sense cuz he said I could not go to the gym, but my cousin could have a baby whose always been a selfish person.

Problems

My dad seems worried about my Gramma and wants me to prostrate for my bratty little cousin.

Problem

Why are people acting like Ellen is to be worshiped like a pagan god?  Like they "go all out" silly for her.

Problem

You can't just be mean to me.  My cousin wants to ruin my life.  I won't accept it.  And I'll feel what I'll feel about what she does to me.  Ellen did it.  She should be stopped.  It shouldn't affect my life.

Also

They're making up stuff probably to death.

What She Is

She's just prejudiced and spoiled.  She is attracted to my cousins with light hair and young moms.

Problem

They're bothering me, still.  Like, what did I do?  The only real thing I could say was my dad saying I can't go to the gym cuz I got irritated, but I wasn't violent.  He got mad and said he could have called the police for me telling him to leave me alone.  I joked that my usually misbehaving and usually punished cousin was too young or not mature enough for a baby right now and that means abortion, but I mean she was rubbing it in like she wants to affect my family.  That's what I was trying to talk to my dad about, but he just got mad at me weirdly and was mimicking me.

cont.

He thought I was immature to go to the gym.

Problem

I just got sassed by Ellen.  You can't pay these minions to torture me for you.  I could get you arrested.

Bad Things

Dad - I should not have gotten so mad?

Ellen - I just talked a lot about how I feel.  I think she keeps forgetting she sent me a bombardment of insults just to laugh at me and think that prepares me alone with nothing, nothing good to make me think positive, like I'm able to think of that when I'm being bullied and can't seem to stop it, and that's what the problem was today.

OK

I should go back and see if I said anything bad about anyone.

Cornering Me

I feel threatened in leading a good life.  What is everyone's problem?  No, you cannot be "forgiven."  It's not okay to keep doing it.

To Sum Up

I got a lot of negative messages in fact via my dad etc. from Ellen DeGeneres.

Problem

Ellen thinks she can do whatever she wants.

She made me think my mom was ***.

Weirdos

Why are you rubbing in bad feelings about when I interact with younger people?  A singer did this.  They are all so dorky.  Maybe, they really can't sing.  Don't you dare get back at me for my freedom of speech.  They just want to look cute and get affection.

You act like I have to worship them and like right now I'm probing my desires.  No, the fact is you don't accept me.  You want to be associated with a generation below me.

Anyway, the thing about the singers was important because singers are nice, but divas are trouble.  About not being able to sing, I mean maybe they just aren't really exactly what they're cracked up to be.

What She Thinks

She always makes her thoughts seem right.

But she judges me and hurts me for my dad being born about 10 years before her and my mom's race.  We should leave her be, but I still wanna watch her on TV.

I don't think I will listen to Ellen.

Problem

My dad brought up something.  I don't feel well, and a certain thought came to me that actually makes sense.  I think Ellen is patterning insults to me for no reason and doesn't care if I die of cancer from it because of when I was trapped in the house eating burgers.  My dad thinks I thought of myself independent from her, and I won't accept any weird fantasy like she's younger than me.

I can see the insults being laid out by her like 1 2 3, and I do find it selfish already.

Nice

I'm nice.  People here are all so mean.  Ellen, you did it.

I don't even mean

to be mean to anyone.

Won't Admit/Influencing

My dad won't admit Ellen influenced him to not take me to the gym cuz I said to leave me alone when he was irritating me.

She thinks she's being flashy and in style.  She wants to tease me by being happy on the show that I'm watching and does this as an excuse to take it away and ruins my life in the process.  I wonder if this is her last straw.

Website Update - Problems

Some really bad news, Ellen thinks I could have been great but that maybe I'm just trash.  She is uptight, ignorant.., and knocked off.  Maybe, she's no better than my parents.  I see the selfishness in their hate.

Trying to Make Me Feel Unnecessarily Guilty..

..They said I won't have the baby I want.  "I'm not gonna have it."  Whatever the *beep* that means.  That's incredibly rude.  Ellen, you are mean to me all day every day.  What's your problem?  You had to take it off the show.

My Day

It was rather going up, and my dad asked me to talk, so I talked about Ellen influencing my cousin to have a baby, and he just grunted and squeaked, no deep thoughts.  Of course, I didn't mention Ellen until later.

I don't care.

You keep being mean to me, this certain person.

So what if I moved my pants around in the bathroom?  Arrest me!

You have everything there for you and you don't put up "with pops."

Website Update

Problems

They are constantly trying to act cute by being mean.

My Issue

My dad is just a mean racist, and Ellen was talking to him and he said she wasn't.  That's sick, Ellen, why did you do that to me?

Website Update

Problems

Ellen rubbed in that she wants to affect my future children negatively, by not making them who I want them to be and "controlling" it herself or changing what it was or should be, which is a stupid idea simply not sure if I should say it any other way, by having my cousin have a baby when she's young and very carefree.

link

Stop talking to me.

You can see me and I can't see you.  I just wanna hit something.

Problem

My dad is being stupid and hyperactive like my cousin to annoy me.  He keeps getting in my life too much.  He threatened not to take me to the gym.  I told him to stop bothering me and others in there.  I was just talking about my cousin having a baby.

Problem

They are threatening to punish me for 2 or 3 days (until I go to Disney.)

Problem

They are threatening me to put someone in my life and won't shut up besides!

Stop?

Some people just can't stop calculating numbers that don't mean anything.

People were indeed being mean to me about Italian.  I posted it online like a good girl or a proper and honest lady.  It's a blog.  It's my blog.

I can't believe anyone listens to the inklings of others like this.

Italians do some things that no one else does.  I don't want there to be no hope for me, for speaking the truth, too.