Monday, August 31, 2015

What?

They keep acting like I'm bad and being mean to me, making me feel certain negative messages.

OK

Why did someone named Wes die?

Violence

Someone online's toenail came off.  I wonder if they did it on purpose to suggest I deserve it, done by this sinful, superstitious experiment.

So, what, are we joking around, now?

You think something really bad happened because of this?

Problem

They just did what I said was bad.

Are you all having a party?

You get antsy and for some reason are "all involved" and have to do something to appease my father from being a *beep* to me.

Why..

Why do you keep being mean and if I get upset only I get some thing to justify others believing I made the problem?

Problem

For some reason, for Ellen, people are acting like they need to subdue me ***ually.

Upset

I don't need to worry about extra commands from Ellen when having a hard time expressing myself about people hurting me.  I don't think I flat out meant anything bad.  I didn't even mean what she thought, I think.  Who has to sit here and worry about silly things for someone else?  I am being used and discriminated.  I will continue to try to be nice.  Guess Ellen hopefully dislikes the bad things others do.  She acts like I'm over her like agewise and can hurt her feelings often without meaning to.  I wonder what's up with that.  I don't mean to be redundant myself, but I said I don't mean to hurt her.  She knows that this other person is silly and that it's not right.  She doesn't want me to connect it to her when I get upset about it, but the only problem is the other person only does it blaming her when I know it's not really all Ellen, too.

Problem

They are being tacky and suggestive to me.

They did something they never did that's important waiting to get at me.

Problem

They are glossing the idea that I look up to him and not Europe.

Problem

They are acting like my dad is in my life like emotionally in ways I do not want.

Problem

You don't have any right to say I did anything wrong!  And pressure me like I have punishment.

Problem

You make this even "embarrassing."

Problem

So what?  I wasn't even mad at 1st that much.  You just turned it into an ordeal.  You all are probably misinterpreting me.

Yes, I am upset I am being analyzed wrongly. but you blast it out into some other situation.

Looks like..

..the "stink bug" or "party pooper" someone framed my life in racial hatred, my dad.

Problem

I see the sign that reminds me of Bella getting something and not me!

No!

I don't need any lesson.  You are being bad!

Crazy

They are analyzing me feeling upset in a weird way.  I just sorta shuffled and got up in my chair!  They are incompetent.  I was presented with an idea I know is important that I do not accept.  I am a cool person.  Maybe, I'm mad because I'm being watched and analyzed in how I react.. seems there must be some "excuse" or reason that is acceptable for me "shuffling in my chair."

Problem

I didn't get myself in trouble.

Problem

They are invading and taking things from me in relationships.

Problem

They're suddenly thinking every little thing wrong means "no."

Problem

You guys are loony sitting there describing my every move that you think you can use against me.

A Simple Thing

Now, while it's quiet,  let's dive in and say I don't want to be mistreated for my dad.

Problem

My dad is acting like he is just trashing my future possible kids cuz I speak for myself and it's just "a new thing."  It's like he's really trying to do it!!  I don't do this!

You don't have to do it.

But thanks for helping!

Problem

They think there's a good side to trying to mar my possible future kids in mixed up ways.  I am not the problem!  I don't deserve all this *beep*!

Problem

Look, I can't have you taking away things that are important to me.  This is just *beep*

Problem

They just keep dumping problems on me.

Problem

They are acting snappish in a lazy way talking to Bella like she's in trouble of me.

So what?

I just flicked the faucet handle in private and you take away someone important to me.  I see Bella wants the person or else.

Problem

Bella Thorne is trying to tell me what to do.

No..

Who cares what you think, then?

Problem

I don't need to suffer for any of you.

This is nothing.

I could cease to exist tomorrow and not have done anything.

What do I have to hope for?  You can't take my relationship.

I just got threatened by Bella Thorne she gets anything when they think I'm in trouble.

Cruel

Evil

Problem

You shouldn't be messing with this.

Problem

They acted like someone I like said I cannot "get" someone I'm kinda in a relationship with.

Problem

They rearranged something in the kitchen because I was upset at them being bad to me about not meeting someone like it wouldn't/doesn't "matter."

They made it an everyday thing for someone, which I didn't like, with an added bonus message.

They are concocting together like this is important, being mean to me.  No, I have always been a good person and you're just fighting at me.

I don't "need'm a bribe."

Why is this all the hype of my dad in on this to hurt me more?

Something Else to Watch out For

I flicked open the faucet which doesn't break it when out of nowhere it seemed I got harsh punishment like seeing someone "didn't matter."

Problem

I think they are trying to make me remember annoying things, just because I was feeling critical in the shower and it mostly went on about one person.  They're playing around with it.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Problem

They are suggesting weird things to me that are very hurtful..

Problem

They are being suggestive saying they are doing things to me I can't tell..

What's your problem?

You can't stop being mean?  If you have to, why don't you have fun you can have with others?

Do you k*** people if I do one thing that "seems" out-of-place?

I'm just concerned.  I don't believe in the possibility of this morality.  I don't know why I care, maybe for the person's death, tho they were old.  I bet this happens everywhere all the time.

Being Bad

I am getting suggestions from others I am bad possibly.

Hatred

If I am hated, why do they keep pestering me like some crazy "person?"  Isn't it pestering to do?  I said I didn't do anything wrong/that bad.  You're just gonna have to live with that, me believing that.  "Agree to disagree."  I don't wanna start anything with anyone.  What's past is past..

Problem

I just found they k***ed maybe or convinced someone to die who had a picture at Ellen's wedding.  They'd been putting people weirdly and probably hurtfully into the lives of those I know and myself.

I recently posted about how there are positive signs of Bella Thorne with people like Ellen and me other in a bad way.  I said it was just to give the facts.

She just keeps living the same thing.  She can't feel that it's wrong it seems.  She keeps it at me in trouble when I feel what I did wasn't bad, cursing about hurtful noises put in my room.  What would happen if I called the police?

"Everyone and their brother/mother" is against me.  I was lied about, and Ellen accepted it.

Problem

Every time I edit my blog's layout, the blog doesn't show up the 1st time.

Issue

You just think I'm a n*****.

What's your problem?!

Things were going fine!

Problem

You can't "take away" people I "know" with a flip of a switch.

Problem

They are being rude to me saying I did something and can't like, whatever, have/like someone and joined them with someone else.  I didn't really do anything, just justified myself from their meanness and before got mad.

Well..

You don't seem to care about my feelings.  Anyway, for the contest, I always said it was cool with me completely for others to socialize with people that I like.

Upset

They are testing me when I'm mad.  I was being rough.  They can't punish me for that.  They were bothering me being really mean.  So what?  I didn't break anything.  I don't care about what you say.  No one is to treat me that way.  You were getting at me for no reason, too, saying I can't meet anyone.  Where did that come from?  You did other things, too.  I was trying to remain calm, but I think you like to make fun of me when I'm nice when you're mean, more points against you.  Me talking about this doesn't make it worse.

Problem

Why are you all bothering me and then saying I'm evil if I feel upset?  And act more roughly and continue to irritate me?

If anyone is wondering..

..I don't care if someone else gets attention from someone.  What I might care about is that people try to get me unaccepted.  What is up with the blasts of outdoing me?

Problem

They keep telling me I'm *beep* and like I have to do this *beep* that they don't.  And it's people I like.

Problem

They keep pushing me to be with people I don't want.

Problem

The negative messages don't stop.

Problem

They keep saying I'm bad and "not that good" and supposedly taking what I already have, keep pushing the envelope.

Problem

They also joked about my hand on the mouse.

They keep bothering me about this relationship!

Problem

They said I "won't even kulink'" about someone I like.

Problem

They are making the computer work by itself and telling a possible future husband to make something.

Problem

You can't be mean to me for Ellen.  I just cursed at the hurtful noises she acted sometimes like she put in my room.

Glitch

My blog posting loads after I go to a new tab.

Problem

I just said "no" in my head, and now they're onto me.  I still think what I think and I'm not here to be uptight in private.

Problem

They won't all stop acting like I did something wrong.

Looks like you have a problem.

They said to me that Bella Thorne was "mine" of someone I like tackily and like I didn't get it because of them being mean to me and me not accepeting it.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Problem

They are just trashing my relationship with someone!

Problem

People on the Soapbox of IMDb I've enjoyed talking to are at it again for someone I like.

Problem

I can't be sure but it looks like it, that someone I like is acting racist to me.

Problem

They're still going.  They are being nice to Bella Thorne, partly, and tossing me out for no reason.

Problem

They are bothering me and telling me for wrong reasons I can't like someone, and they also said they were nicer to others cuz I knew I'd meet them or something, which could be a nice thing for my likings.

Problem

This person I like sure seems to hate me.

Problem

They keep playing with me like I'm some spoiled Scandinavian girl who loses everything if they hate my guts and what I do.  They just throw away my life even when I did nothing wrong.

Fighting Me?

Now, that's unprofessional.

Problem

They won't stop bothering me and hurting things.

Problem

They're trying to affect someone I like and "look up to."

MayDay

They are trying to hurt a relationship I have with a boy because they said I couldn't see him and was mad, in the kitchen alone flung open the faucet handle, but it doesn't break I think.  Why are they messing around with messages like that?

Glitch

My dad left a comment, and it didn't show up in Google Notifications.

Problem

Did you know my dad acts mean to me every day?

Apologies

to whoever wants one

Problem

They are acting like someone I like said for people to drive to annoy me in steps if "anything goes wrong" when they're mean to me.

Problem

They are getting people to do weird somewhat outlandish things to send me a disciplinary message like they're better/nicer than me.

Problem

I think Ellen made this following me around being mean to me happen.

Problem

I hope I don't get sick.

Problem

They threatened to "do it to the internet."

Problem

They made the cars drive around and hate me maybe.

Also, they said something @ my head and something weird after and I touched it in anger then something else they just said.  It's disturbing.

Problem

They're controlling my communication.

Problem

They are being mean to me and snapping if I feel a little upset, like if I move my body.

Problem

I didn't "blow it."

Problem

I didn't do anything.  They're wrong to take away what's important!

Problem

You're the one being mean to me, not me to you.

Problem

They won't stop.

Problem

They are acting like I can't have a relationship after being stupid and mean to me a lot.  I was just feeling mad.  I was fine when I was out today.

I'm not playing these little *beep* ^games^.

Bad Feelings

They act like me feeling awkward is from someone and that people look at me cross-eyed caring like they care too much and can't handle it.  They are acting like it's my fault.

Upset

They are pushing me to be with the people I don't want cuz I cursed about the noises Ellen supposedly put in my room.  I can't always have this!

Upset

They're trying to get my dad to stimulate me.

They're Upset

trying to act like they are taking away things from a relationship

Friday, August 28, 2015

Problem

They're being nasty concerning someone I like!  How nonsensical is that?!

Problem

I cannot accept any nonsense punishment cuz it will eat my life away.

I am not bad.

Problem

They said I'd never get my mom.

Problem

They keep acting like someone I like is sending me mean messages, as tho I need to be punished.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Problem

I'm getting messages about unavoidable topics.  It's in the negative.

Problem

I felt part of my face like someone who doesn't care, the black people.  What shall I do??

Problem

They threatened me cuza how I feel @ what I just posted..

Another Move Dropped

Someone I like has a black person in her sig.

Problem

Look, I swear, these people are at me.  What can I do?!

What about my temper?

I didn't expect it, I felt sorta winded from all the insults.  Of course, I didn't mean anything really bad.  Whoever is mean to me, I just intend to justify it.

Problem

I was getting random o***** from the black men who didn't care about how they presented themselves in the movies and made it over as the message of being crusty to punish me and represent me and someone I like.

Problem

Ellen wants my parents to be against me.

Issue

It seems it's it for Bella and her family.

Ellen doesn't even want me to be happy about anything.  She thinks I have in the back of my head herself in my life as important, but she's not that "available."  I like watching the show!

She is upset I cursed and never said to stop until it was too late.  What if she hurt me?  There are noises in my room, and they were very hurtful from what I remember.

Problem

They made a sudden louder noise to make my head feel like it has a bump on top like someone, and I don't like it.

Problem

They're being antsy suggesting you could say I was disrespectful to other people with recent long time ancestors from a hot, wild place.  I even added a disclaimer and footnotes.

Problem

They said "out of town."

Problem

I was singing Christmas songs and the obese black man with a beard from that movie came up.

Problem

So what about Bella?  Ellen had her be mean to me and then go away, like I'm not good enough and am imposing myself.

Problem

They had Bella take away my German influence and ask "what's" wrong with me.

Problem

Why won't this stop?  Who said to do this?

Problem

They're making bad associations.

Edit

I took the word "crusty" from that original post about it on my regular blog.

Problem

I'm trying to rest for a big day, and I feel that possibility has ceased because of their constant attack for no good reason.

Problem

Why did Ellen's anger enter my life?

I respect her, tho, but that seems to be what happened.

Problem

They started making noises like an animal is in here, but it sounds like it's in something like bedding tho I can't see it.

Problem

They keep going along acting like my mom mothered me from a father as *beep*.

My dad also thinks I'm bad and is wrong. What more do I have to say?  I've listed my problems before.

Problem

They are playing with a certain part to feel stimulated over the black men who did not care about their presentation in the movies.

Problem

Ellen thinks I forced someone to watch me in private and now they are bothering me all the time about it.

Problem

You're the one who called me out on the black race.

Issue

I'm not racist against other races's rights, but I don't want to be certain races..

Problem

They made having a black baby seem too attractive for me, suddenly.

Problem

They keep plopping/dishing out one unwanted message after another.

Problem

They're having someone I like be evil.

Problem

So, I had to listen to pretending that I have kids with a black person who seems "crusty" as I said.. what's a better way to describe.. "dry?"

More Than Once

felt like "crusty blackness" was invading certain parts

Threat

They are trying to put a relationship in my face to test me and take it away.

Wait

Is this Ellen's idea of fun?  She never admits she does it, so my wondering this is wrong?

Literally, tho, fun?  I did say she was slow-paced because things tend to come up later.  I don't mean it in a negative way.

What animal is trained to give someone a problem for everything that comes up that they take negatively?  LOL!

Problem

They're acting like someone else deserves something and I don't anymore, partly cuz I told they made "crusty" black people representing me and them in movies.

:Problem

They're acting tacky and mean!!

Glitch

My Blogger sends me a funny message via having some inky remainders partly where it loads..

Problem

They said someone I like wouldn't "stop until I k*** myself."

Problem

They aren't stopping.  What is this alone time doing *beep* with/for others?

Blending

I don't know if they did something or if they're blending issues.

Problem

They're having someone tell about how I think.  I didn't bring something up, and they did.  They're threatening it for the future, something that excludes me!  I can't let this nonsense go on.  Who is suggesting these things?  "Oh, I'll just give some annoying thing for to happen in 2 years!"  "I'll just blurt it out, I don't care, it's true!"  They probably are expecting a lecture of what they like with this, but it's already been said/suggested.

Problem

They're sneakily replacing someone in my life.

Problem

Look, I don't gotta problem!!

Problem

They said they didn't just do that.

Problem

They are acting tacky like I deserve to be hurt.

Problem

They are still bothering me and I don't know if it will stick.

Problem

They said it wasn't all that and then they did.

Problem

They are acting like it's for Bella Thorne but not me, too.

Problem

They are playing trying to prove I don't like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Problem

They are acting mean and tacky now.

Problem

They're suggesting I can't have anything to do with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and that the guy from Good Eats can.

They were bothering me while watching the show!  The people who watch me in my room.  So, I posted about it.

They even gave me a suggestive physical reminder, that I have nothing to do with it.

What about my dad making this home a depressing place?  What do you expect from me?

Problem

They are acting like the TV show I watch I don't like cuz they piped up while I was watching.

Problem

They keep acting loony.

Problem

They won't stop..

Problem

They're waving tacky messages in my face supposedly by someone I like that are mean.

Problem

They're poking fun at me for being upset, and it was just something I saw in a commercial.  They won't stop poking at me.  How am I supposed to feel?  Why do I sense someone/people is acting like I'm finally giving in?

This person I like I find people are giving a sensation of me losing someone.

I'm getting perturbed by them dropping in random messages all the time.  So, what's the point?

They're being outlandish, "Well, whatta you want?  I dunno whatta you want?"  Like my serenity is up for grabs.  It's sadly/"regrettably" like the big circus where the Barrett family and friends make it big and I get framed in the process of when I was living life.  I feel trashed, I can't achieve for some reason.

I feel like they're playing around when I do things that aren't that bad.  I didn't need them to do this to me to begin with.  I'm better behaved than they are.

As for the Barrett family, I mean how do you know who I am close to?  Do you think I can't be close to anyone?  I mean, it's funny.  I don't really feel we're that much in communication, LOL, for them to be shouting out orders or whispering secrets bad on me.

I just got threatened cuz they're uncomfortable for me talking about "whispering" as a symbol.  That method of living won't work for you, I think, and shouldn't be something I do "just because.."

They just acted like they touched a part of my body more private and I just had posted before about someone touching something else.  They did it all tacky.

Why are these messages happening?

Problem

I saw a commercial where they called me primitive racially and all are stealing my relationships.  Like I did something wrong.  No, you all are mean to me.

Issue

They are acting like she or I are a child who does nothing cuz I'm not learning in a college.

Problem

They're being mean to me while I watch TV.

They made my Gramma be inquisitive, as she is, to try to test people.  I am on meds and a break and have a goal that doesn't necessarily involve college.  They said, "What are you ..Learning?"

Then they said, "So, Gramma it is,"

What are they doing?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Problem

They won't be quiet.

You think you can land in my room and destroy my personal space.

Problem

Stop getting people I like outta my life.

You better not force them to be mean.

Problem

They're at me.  Some people in this world need to get out of my personal space.

Problem

It's not going away!

Problem

They took it upon themselves to speak up again, like it's okay.

Problem

They're messing with my future possible kids cuz I didn't like what they said to me about my race in a movie.  I was alone.  You have absolutely no right to react like this.

They are perverting my possible future son and killing of the spirit of my possible future daughter.

Problem

They're just being nasty testing me.

Problem

Someone I like is supposedly messing with me liking someone.

Problem

They said that my possible future daughter would die, just to bug me and try to make it happen to punish me, rather than being a spirit.

Problem

They're pestering me and claimed someone I like a lot will pester me if I get out of this mess, maybe when I move out.  Or if I get famous/acting.

Problem

My dad is bad.

Problem

They programmed something to load more slowly and with a perverted message each time.

Problem

My dad is trying to annoy me.

They're testing me..

..making me fight an attack of the "shape of a toenail."  How perverted.  I didn't ask them to do something to my toenail.

Problem

I get disrupted all day every day!

Problem

You guys are criminals! and my dad is a freak sometimes!

Problem

I didn't do anything!

Problem

They're "on crack" whoever's doing this.

Problem

Why are my Gramma and aunt in my life like this!  I was a grown girl!

Problem

They're pushing me to people I don't like doing things I don't want.

Problem

They chain messaged someone to not like me.  I think my Gramma and older aunt did it.

Issue

They were being really mean to me and helping me think something mad at someone before.

Problem

Why is Ellen having everyone turn on me?  She was the one who was mean to me.  I don't care about this "walking around on eggshells."  I've explained this a lot and it's on my Problems website.  I didn't do anything wrong in noticing someone did this!

Apology

I have an inner temper no one wants to help me with.

Still, I am sorry for my bad thoughts that seem to come or happen weirdly.

I don't think anyone should have meant for this to happen and not sure if they did nor who/what.

and when they touch me

it's inappropriate or sucky.

Also

They're also acting like people are touching me who I don't want them to.

Issue

So, the big thing is my oldest aunt supposedly did something bad to me, like she won't let me interact with anyone.. that, or maybe someone else.

Problem

Being mean to me suddenly with more messages.  Threats.  The future.  Etc.

Issue

They told me, "No, she did it with it. She did it, bucked naked."  If I could prove it, they'd be arrested.

Issue

They are acting like my mom is telling me what to do like she's my dad's oldest sister.  They also just put 1 new message in my inbox..  I just didn't talk about it at 1st.

OK

Why do you keep saying I'm on Ellen's bad side?  Why did you put those noises in my room?

No..

You didn't find me as a bad person.

Problem

More messages.

cont.

They just did something again.

And if I don't sit there and say I comply with their talking to me they get mad like it "started something."  I will not go along with this.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Soapbox Posters

...

Yea, I don't know why they only have 24 hours up here. Maybe, to encourage us to record our posts permanently, like I do when I post something interesting and think of it.

You know, I did notice at a time when I simply was upset about racism, they did this (made the board smaller probably to 24 hours.) I am anti-racist, tho. I think they are pro-racist here. So, I don't really get why they did this. I didn't say I was mad, and I don't know why they really did it and what motivation and benefit is floating around about this fact.. 

They just joked that a vitamin extractor that works was not made for me with false advertising. Who is turning the world into a 3 ring circus, telling me mean things?

Threats

They act like I'm putting on an act by posting about my problems from them.. but I'm doing it!

They are acting like since
-I said something at the table in private
-I squirmed when Ellen had my mom act suggestively to arouse me
-probably squirming mad by myself in the movie theater

that I can't feel good.  They are ruining an important relationship.  Ellen acknowledged she put illegal noises that hurt me in my room to annoy me and thinks I'm bad cuz I cursed about them.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

I wonder..

Howcome if I'm good, I get dissed and others get things?

If my parents kept me from living a good life, so be it.

Serious

What's wrong with Ellen?  She is mad that everyone isn't being mean to me.  She supposedly put illegal annoying noises in my room and acted like she acknowledged that.  So, I got upset and cursed about it a long time.  Doesn't that make sense, a time you'd curse?

She seems vehement against my mom telling me things are okay, like I think too.  Why can't the being mean to me stop, tho?

Ellen keeps darting the fact that what she did was both hurtful and illegal.  I'm not trying to fight.

Not sure what's wrong with this post but will go ahead and post it.

Why doesn't she talk it out if she has a problem?  She just insists I live a horrible life cuza her.

Watch her find she's wrong only if it were too late.

I don't know if her thing with my mom is a false alarm or what.  My mom is not that bad but different from Ellen.  Wow!  It's not like Ellen is protecting me from her, so don't even try and say that's what it is if it's not.

At least, I found Ellen was different from my mom.  Is there something wrong with my talking to others for my social needs, too?  Look, I'm being nice and only am mad when it makes sense.  I am not here to bow down to Ellen.

I do try to be nice, but no one "likes" me.  I'm considered very polite in real life.  I am compared to people online, too, who do questionable things..

It seems it's a first impression problem and a misunderstanding of right and wrong.  I didn't realize she was so big on Jesus.  Those people are usually understanding.

Problem

You can't label me as bad to others.

Twitter

Posts aren't loading on individual pages all the time.

Threat

They are flipping off threatening my relationships I supposedly have to them.

She's really at me.

I'm not taking this nonsense.

Problem

Ellen made something to remember in a year cuz she's a spoilsport about what I said or did.. what was it?  Oh, I was just upset about her the whole time in the shower, which technically is none of her beeswax ever.  I was just upset in general.  She'd throw a fit if someone did this to her.  How violent!  This is not a qualified thing to do.  I just don't trust in these people.  I don't have a problem.

I'm not stupid.

I just didn't like the illegal things done to me!

Problem

I think Ellen is threatening to k*** my mom.  Because my mom used to be nice to me til this.

Problem

Why does Ellen think she can pretend I am bad?  She threatens anyone who's nice to me.

Problem

They are messing with me that my name be Carrie.  Like they can just control my life.

Problem

Ellen my have me feel m*****ed because once I joked around with the word m********** on her board about her.  I didn't mean to start anything.  I didn't realize it'd be there that she'd see and care, probably, and meant what I said, not in a sarcastic way, just a factual term.  Anyone who lives according to first impressions and such would know this, but Ellen didn't make this obvious.

Issue

I'm not Ellen.  I'm not ***.

Irritated

They're acting so stupid and tacky like I'm *beep*

Problem

You think you can come in here and send me negative messages when I load the page?

Problem

I always get a bad feeling around my mom cuza Ellen.

Problem

Their job is to make sure I don't feel good.

Problem

I get the automated secret message from Ellen that I just think I have to be treated well or "the best."

Problem

They are acting like I'm my dad.

Problem

Ellen is making my mom act too stimulatingly in an inappropriate way around me.

Dad

Hope I didn't hurt him at supper.  Looks like he's not back.

Issue

Why am I an issue??

Problem

Why can't you just let me enjoy my day!

Problem

Why would you inflict someone one me?  Johnny Depp turned the world crazy!

Problem

External links aren't posting to my Facebook.

Problem

I ignored my dad being mean, so my parents ignored me.

Problem

They got me the wrong order on purpose.  I don't wanna try it.  But I ate it.

Problem

They are being meaner again.  Irritating me.

Edit

last post posted too fast

Wonder Why

my dad is so mean

He's also trying to emulate someone I like.  He generally is an irritation to me, particularly when mean so often.

I don't care what you think, but I have to talk about it.  It feels *** to listen to you and not to.  I bet it isn't right.

STOP

NO I SAID STOP

Problem

Stop acting bad to me.  My parents started ignoring me.

Problem

My dad keeps copying me.  I want it to stop.

More

I got a secret message that was stupid about something I don't want as some peak goal.

CRAZY

I'm not bad.  Don't you all go ruining my life.

NO..

I told you.  They joked about February, I said no!  Then they joked about "when I grow up" and then never.

Now What?

My mom made a noise like hurting and I went with it.

I don't know how to control my temper, anymore.  My life never recharges at 100%.  It just keeps getting worse.  Even if I'm positive, I get attacked.  They find some way to really bother me.  Why does everyone laugh at me when I say I want anger pills and I don't get them?  I don't need thought disorder pills.  I ended up being found out for being upset, not my original way of having thought disorder when I was depressed.  I can get used to it, maybe, but this *beep* is eating too much outta my life already!  I know everyone else is very sensitive to these things and so people let them alone cuz they're white or don't try to act white if they're not.

They just came in and made fun of me like I don't deserve anything as an Aryan person.  They acted pathetically, too, like, "Ugh, really.. you say that now?"  I don't believe in that as being right!  How would you like to be another race that is considered exterminable?

Anyway, I don't think I meant for it to go 100%.  I was mad tho at how my mom supposedly had to act.  They are putting the brunt on her, just so it looks like no one really did it.

So, I'm very sorry for anything that may have happened.  Hopefully, I make it thru supper.  Fine, pretend to hurt me!  I just want things okay, but if you need anything, I mean if it's okay help yourself to it.

Maybe, zoning out the world with earplugs helps..

Well, as for hurting me, I guess that'd make you feel like a bad person, so that won't fix anything.

Problem

I don't need some innate lesson taught to me!  I see other people in school always talking and not listening.

Freaks

Quit saying people who are nice to me or smart need to be stimulated and that's it.  You're just ruining people for me!!

Issue

Why are they being lunatics and not shutting up?  They think they're the one with the good moves, but that's just an experience.  They didn't really.. "do" it.

They're trying to touch a certain area again.

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM

Why won't you stop?

"Or Else"

I said to stop threatening orders at me "or else!"

Quit

You can't go admitting things to say I'm trash.

Problem

Well, here I am!  I don't hurt people.

Problem

No!  My mom can't do things to me that I can't to her legally.

Problem

Why does my mom keep chiming up?  She's not "the feminine one" because I "came from my dad."

Sick

Why are you ready for the attack?

Problem

You make fun of me wanting to be nice.

Problme

I am talking about these issues and saying to stop.

Risk

Do you see something?

Problem

My mom is acting like she's my dad's oldest sister.  Saying who can and can't do what.

Problem

You just keep making my life worse.

ORLANDO

I SAID STOP!!

PROBLEM

I SAID STOP DOING THIS FOR MY DAD

Unthinking

Quit spurting random mean things at me.

Well Well Well

You think you can tell me what to do?  What'd I do wrong?  Huh?  Huh?

STOP

YOU CAN'T DO THIS M*****ING FROM MY DAD

NO..

STOP

Who do you have expensively involved?

I SAID NO

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

STOP

I SAID NO

My mom is acting like her *beep* is all that's in my life.

What It Is

I don't really care about what it is, but I can't let this start to happen.  My mom is m*****ing me.

I said..

..STOP

No..

You said something bad about today.

Stupid

You're the one invading my life.

Problem

You can't tell me off on a whim.

NO..

I SAID STOP

What did you say?

I said you better stop.

Problem

Quit being suggestive opening my door and turning on music.

Problem

Quit spurting out random problems of punishment for a time.  Who knows how far this could go in some case.

WHAT

Why is my mom still doing that?!  I'm telling the police.

Problem

What the *beep* is my mom's problem?

Problem

You can't do this I said!  Quit acting like I think it's okay!!

What a waste.

Now I forget.

What are you (no one) here for?

I'm not staying out of college only to lose my parents's relationship.

I was talking to my parents at supper and I said something I wouldn't say in front of someone else.

My mom started acting *** around me.  She acted like Ellen said since I got upset so long in the car she won't stop.  She stares in my face like my oldest aunt did sometimes once driving her around visiting here.

Ellen and someone else has a little rule where if you get upset at something you do it forever.  Shut the *beep* up whoever did that.  You were mean to me.  What the *beep* could I do?

They are threatening my relationships, too, with my mom.

Go call your mommy and go home!

Problem

Why am I considered someone who's needy in problems?  No, I grew up being the best behaved everyone said etc. etc. etc.

I feel like I'm "sucking up" but

I tried not to squirm in the car.

The movie was a private ordeal.

What else.. I forget.

I wasn't hurting anyone.

More

They're employing tactics of my Grandma.

No!

I'm not a toy for you to play with!

Problem

They won't get off.  I feel irritated.

cont.

I didn't do anything, you did.

cont.

Why are the cars outside whining about me?!

cont.

I just squirmed in the car cuza how my mom was driving.  I squirmed in the movie theater filled with things of disgust and threats.  I tried to do it so it wasn't obvious to others.

Makin' Life Hard and Not Work out for Me

They are acting like I'm a baby and they are m*****ing me.  They are ruining my relationships.

Issue

Ellen supposedly said, "No," to my dad for something I did that wasn't all that bad in meaning or whatever at the table..  How do you think that goes?  Just, "no.." as in "I meant.." such and such.  It all started when something happened around the same time I caught her off.  I thought she couldn't get enough, men.  Doesn't its seem sad and wrong?  That's that again, her on full steam cuz she knows her dad's from out-of-the-U.S.  No offense, tho, just saying I see her do this.  If she can't do it in front of others, it gets done behind their backs.

Problem

They keep going like the Energizer Bunny.

They keep saying no something won't happen but because of something that's not bad by my fault.

They just keep doing bad things to me.

I never said anyone was doing anything.  Still, you can't ruin it for me.

Crazy Morning

Slipped a word or so in the end to cap it off.  In my head, of course.

Problem

They're messing with my possible future kids.

It's as simple as this.

Why are people thinking they know I'm really bad and being mean to me?

Physical Violence

They're slicing my stomach (and threatening more now) so it's like Ellen's fantasy of pumping upward as a mini person, like bellying up as a kid.

Problem

They're physically attacking me to do with my Gramma's beliefs among other things and Ellen.

Messages

They are trying to mess with me.  They won't be quiet, neither.

Another Message

A secret message about me putting my old blogs up when my older aunt seemed to have an issue about me getting new ones.

Problem

I think my older aunt is involved!

It doesn't stop.

They said someone has to be stimulated over me who's older and said, "But, wait, I don't get you hypnotized."

Problem

My youngest aunt on my dad's side I think blew a fuse and told a relationship to tell me "not to tell" when they do something questionable cuz they mean it.

That was my whole problem.  I post it on my Problems blog to try to get it "justified."  There are no silly rules for keeping a relationship.  That's like slavery.  I don't see other people run into this in life in most any case that exists.

You could just keep making up things like this.  There would be no end.  My aunt, I said, "blew a fuse."  My family do not know what they're doing.  I know from experience they are an "off" experience.  I was the one who came out sound and nice in the end.  They are underqualified intelligences when mad/bad.

Also, I really use my Problems blog.  I use it to make the world a better place.  It cannot be an issue like "stepping on a crack and breaking your mother's back."

I can just see the list of requirements coming down now.  This is a silly thing to give up when it's so important.  I try to not be mean when I say it, but I'm still clear as to the nature of what's happening.

So, about my relationship.  I think these things are just nonsensical.  I should ignore these spurts of things happening.  There's no other way, as it happens.  I've experienced things like this before.  Bargains still affecting my life, like if I disinfected the toilet seat when I didn't dirty it, not sure what exactly was going on but I stopped, which is a good thing and I had to eventually.

So, I guess I'll have to see what happens and just live life.  Again, I'm not being mean.  Apparently, they know something is going on, and time passes and things never really seem right.

I think the last thing I said was because it was wrong and a constant nuisance and probably an undue punishment to ruin my life and say it's not important.  I mean, come on.  The experiment partly ruined my life, not me alone.  I'm supposed to be considered good, not be old and decrepit.

Problems

I got the message if I give away something wrong someone did to me my family is in danger.

I got another message that someone else is involved in my life with an important relationship I got and being teased I did something to ruin that relationship.

Also, I am getting incoming messages from my Gramma about how I can't like un-American things, probably Ellen-induced.  That's not how it's supposed to be.  I can tell it's undue punishment.  My Gramma is "making it possible" for other Americans to have more of their own relationship with a European in Europe and others by taking from my possible relationship, for no reason justifying it and doing it in fear of her life, mean friends who pushed her to be mean to me.  No, that doesn't seem to make it okay to happen however it did.  This is the sorta thing you don't do and say.  It seems to have been fabricated or materialized.  It's funny to have people like your Gramma going along like you're okay a lot of times and then to have them strike out in ways that are defaming.  By the way, this word and something before someone knew about 1st may have happened, so they're "in the process" helping being mean to me.

Monday, August 24, 2015

In My Own World

I realize if some of you don't wanna be a part of it.

I am interested in what just happened.

I wonder why I don't get fed anger pills I asked for.  I think they helped.  I don't have schizophrenia because I'm not all white.. or because a girl can get mad.  I bet a lotta people get anger pills/liquid meds.  Why does a pill define your fate, tho?

See, I was at a movie and I was upset where no one might see.  I already said I'm not ruining the seat so hit myself.  Well, punched.  Immature and maybe immature to talk about.  I just felt the muse say I need some penance tho I already gave a sincere apology.

I don't wanna direct my disagreement as anger toward anyone.  What's there to agree on?  I don't go out and do weird things to play safe.  People come from different seats in life.  I know for a fact there are big differences in different hot spots of the US that affect our ability to judge as humans.

A stupid question with a stupid answer, "Why are some people so mean to me?"

I had told myself okay no one's watching, I'm not hitting the chair.  I need to control myself, even if I were in jail.  It's just a movie.

Apologies ..Again?

Sorry to this person, but it's sad I justified my cursing..  I was mad they seemed to put me in the wrong.

I tried brushing off the other person.  I was not trying to want to direct at her undue anger..  I got more threats that might just be some thing.

I dunno and my mom is trying to make me feel in some extremity for Ellen.  I will try to ignore.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Apology

I don't even remember why I was mad.  I guess I'll just have to ignore it.

I was just mad about life in general but could not stop feeling bad about it with something Ellen did, while trying to shower.. I dunno why.  I was just with my parents at dinner.  I was just upset in general.  I even thought that by the time I got out.

Not that I think anyone else should have to go thru this.  I think I should be fine, but I'm not.. I feel threatened.

Problem

Some people secretly bad influenced us, too.

Problem

What is her problem?

This is not a life!

She's just punishing me for no good reason!!

Problem

She's making someone I look up to say "go go go" in private like a little kid.  Get this out!

Problem

I'm playing a game and they started sooner.  She also made me bump a topic for someone a few days.

Problem

She'll probably hurt people who like me and say she comes clean when she doesn't.

Problem

I was upset in the shower but wasn't acting out.. and in comes Ellen and tries to stress me out so I get cancer.  NO!  Someone stop this!  I have yet to post to the police.

Problem

You can't keep me from finding people to meet.  "It's not safe."  *Beep* that won't work!

Something That Happened

I was looking at someone, and I think Ellen wants to stimulate everyone who she thinks is younger than my mom when I try to look up to them cuz she finds it necessary and proper.

No..

I'm not living by conditions.

My Life

I tell the police.

No..

I already said no!

Problem

Why is each day a problem?

Problem

Why does Ellen act like it's all about her?  Like, I should give up things cuz she's enough?  I'm not Portia!  I don't live knowing only one person!

What did Jimmy Fallon not do to not be considered for this?

I want answers cuz I'm not living like this.  I don't care if Ellen lives like this.  I don't live like this!  May she not live like this, too!

Problem

Why is Ellen crazy about competition?  We don't all have a hair color that works as the Energizer Bunny for us.

Problem

Face it.  It's yes or no.  Ellen is being mean to me and making everyone else be that way.

NO..

I'M NOT GONNA LIVE LIKE THIS

Problem

Ellen won't quit being mean to me and threatening my family and my life.  I think she did something.

Problem

I guess you don't think this is that important.

Problem

Who do you think you are to disturb my life!  You were mean to me.  I will not accept this.  I just said no and they denied me.  Quit taking from my relationships.  I'm mad at all the mean things you do for no reason.

Problem

They throw in trash statements not worth discussing that could blow up.

Problem

I'm not a toy for anyone to play stupid with.

No..

You should not be threatening me, whatever else you're doing.

Problem

I will not listen to you and your antsiness.

Problem

They're having someone be the m*****ed leader of racism against me in detail that I like and look up to.  I don't care if someone as an issue.

Inappropriate Feelings!

They're just playing around seeing if I think of something inappropriate by accident or that another person being present may have brought on while they've and they're making me feel inappropriate now.  I don't like people making fun of me for it, like that I did something to Ellen when she did it to me.  You know, no one is God..

I can't click with people naturally.  I have to do something.

Do you think other people never do anything wrong?  Quit telling me I have some thing where I have expectations unmet.

You know what..

..would be sick to believe, that Ellen does this or even my parents or anyone

Not sure if anyone is interested..

..but I felt m*****ed and thought badly.  Whenever I saw someone, I felt m*****ed.  Some thoughts just came.  DO I mean them, well, it's too late, but no, they weren't real violent thoughts, just bad influence from cartoons.  I couldn't get the feeling to wear off.  I'm about to have a job interview, and I know people make me feel good and I'm ready to have a good time.  Instead, they programmed me to be this way.

No Choice.. Sad

Ellen said my dad did it, but if someone doesn't hurt me that I like then they will be hurt like me.

Problem

My entire walk, I felt *beep*ed up in a certain part.  I think Ellen had my mom do it.  It's really tacky and such.  They seem oblivious, like they're ecstatic women diving in to do their job.

Too Bad

Honestly, I think it's just a mistake and should not be made too big a deal of.  Seemed like something else at the time, didn't mean anything that bad.  If you have an issue and it can help, it would be good.  Like, if anyone wanted to discuss it and bring light to the subject.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

What It Was

Well, I see what I did which didn't seem wrong at the second.  I had calculated the idea of lighting up a certain way, when talking about how people light up to talk about Ellen.  I guess they're on her good list.

I'm very sorry.  I know that things don't quite process just like that when it comes to her.  Something terrible must 1st happen.

This has gotta stop.

People aren't to be messing with me all the time, being mean to me, the people I know.

Big Problem

So, I heard Ellen and others want to hurt all the people who are nice to me, those positive strangers, make them feels silly but at a dead end.

I want to get away, but my dad says about me as good for no reason, "That's not that."

Well, they brought up me feeling upset at my relatives's, but they were the ones who were acting meanly around me trying to hide that fact.  Yea, Ellen probably "did" it.

Being Mean

It's wrong to be mean to me, no excuse.

Problem

Why do people act like I'm bad?  I found my dad likes to seep in and punish me in secret ways that pop up when I hadn't really done anything bad and was not told if I did.  I think he just hated my guts/attitude..

I think he's trying to do something new that seems like something "worse" his mom would do.

He's forced people to ruin my life.

Inappropriate

Rubbing in that someone who's not at least like 20 years older doesn't give a *beep* about me.

Issue

It looks like my parents are jumping on the bandwagon.

My Dad

Why can he be mean to me?

Friday, August 21, 2015

What I Found 411

They are manipulating me in possibly bad ways in the style of others.

Problem

This is unacceptable, the mean experimenting on me.

Bad People?

Why do you think there can be bad people?

Problem

They're messing with my page loading.

I don't hate people.

Why do you keep acting like I hate people?  I was just upset but didn't say it in a bad way online.  I don't hate people.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Very Sneaky

You don't let me feel good things thinking it's perverted to think of them and somehow all you people have it in you to do it to others, tho.  I didn't know you reaped benefit watching someone get it all.  I think that was a problem to be taken care of, but I see it still exists.

Some Talk + 411

I don't know that this applies to you, but I'm not up for "thee experience" or a "tour of everything" in a do-it-all fashion.

I never would have had this happen it weren't for something concerning Tim Burton.  He seems to have spotted me and thought I was cool but "not white," which is not a nice thing to suggest.

I'm tired of this redundancy.

I feel surrounded and that someone is violating things.

I also sense someone needs to make things seem like an agreement but uses hostages.

Problem

They are making people I like turn on me like they "hafta do it."

Problem

They said someone I like told people to act racist.  Like, they act all cute and blank-faced at me or ignorant/unaware to their surroundings and oblivious to what they know is going on.  They started telling me not to touch them, but only me, like i'm some bad person and retarded and invalid.  I haven't been, and I probably am more careful than most people on if I did.  Maybe, others are just more comfortable cuz they're Aryan.

To Prove a Point

Sometimes, when things happen naturally it seems like an insult.

Calmness

I need to calm down.

Still, they are really threatening me.

Problem

You just bring up inappropriate things.

Problem

They are building the story I'm black.  I'm not going to be the only one doing this *beep*

Mean

They're all energetic and peppy.

Just added more insult.

Problem

They just insulted me again and hurt me.

I was gonna say I wonder why it's so quiet now.  So what?  You did something wrong.

Problem

They won't stop!

Problem

I got another message from someone bothering me.  They also made something take form.

Problem

They are still onto me and won't stop threatening me!!

Issue

I feel inconvenienced alone.

Problem

They keep having someone annoying message me, I think I just got 2 unanswered messages.

Problem

They have to stream *beep* to me and said it has to be done cuz they said it.

Do you have a problem?

I load out of this page with constant messages.

Problem

They said someone I like won'tr read my blog.  That's none of your business.  That's for them to decide not to do.

No..

Whatever you say, you were mean to me.  I'm not listening otherwise!

Problem

They acted like that person has nothing for me.

I think those whiners

just ruined my day.

Problem

They are acting like they're all that trying to stimulate me inappropriately.

Problem

I got a message this morning again!

Problem

They were messing with the mouse and sending me other messages.

Problem

They think they should ruin my TV now.

They are such party poopers.  Who cares about them?

Problem

How would you feel if Ellen punished you for no good reason?  Like about something she did to you.

What's your problem?

So what if I feel upset?  You just sit there and dish out threats you disclaim "in your name."  Not being sarcastic, just saying.

It's rather bizarre/grotesque.  It's a bit desperate and forward/outspoken.  If it's true, I'm calling the police!  I guess with these people anything goes.  I don't take things in stride.  I do what I just did and say it's not true.

I don't sit there are reinterpret "what" just went underway.

BTW, why are you wondering if I'm mean to someone when they're so mean to me?  I only get upset when people are very mean to me.

Problem

They think since I was so upset it's "reLated."

Problem

I'm tired of typing this!  But I don't wanna live with all these unnecessary secrets!

Problem

I don't have to listen to them.

More

They won't stop.

THEY WON'T STOP

They keep acting like that person being mean to me.  I will not let things be this bad for me.

They just blurt out any *beep* at any moment.

Problem

They are telling me to total myself as something and no one else.

Problem

They keep saying I don't have someone I like.

Taking From Me

They are acting like someone I like said it's off and being tacky making someone else have it and rubbing it in.

Problems

They called me my dad again, making fun of him wanting the best for me.

They said someone I like wouldn't do something again, like doesn't care about me because of them.

Problem

Ellen is trying to stimulate me and be inappropriate and suggestive and doing awkward things, relaying messages.

It is fine, but I know it's wrong and she's just trying to get at me.

Issue

I think Ellen would just want me off, but I am apologetic for what bothered her.. it was stupid, like when I was lonely and spammed my friends.  I should have called the police for whoever did that.  There is a police forum online, too.  I could tell them I liked the noises but not the ones they were doing now.  I guess that's what most bothered me.  I'll try to get back on the police forum soon..  I don't want something to happen like getting in trouble with Ellen.

At Me

They are acting all melancholy and nostalgic for no good reason having someone younger treat me like they're all that like Ellen.

It seems they're already loaded with attacks.

They'r acting like I complained in a way I didn't, too.

Let's spread the news rather than hold it in.  Who said we can't deal with the issue?

Okay, it's fine that someone did that, but I thought I caught something else.  I can't remember, now.  Oh yes, just another stuck up teen/young adult/"millennial."  I don't need my life worse since after watching Ellen.  I need it the same as before and with what betterments I made without her.

Destroying My Family

Going in and getting private.

411, not being sarcastic.

Not sure why, precisely, neither.

For example, they want to talk assuming I am my dad but for some reason no one else.  I am me.  They called me "sir" like I was insistent on being right.  They have that issue with my parents, I know.  I don't know about other than them.  I don't think they know what they're doing.  I already didn't trust them.

They are saying I'm *beep* and not letting me socialize how I should and want.

The are tirelessly doing wrong.

Weird things do come up, I see.

Illegal Things

So, when you forget something illegal was done to me, where does that go?

You can't say sorry for whatever someone didn't like.

So, what can you do?  You can't even call it off.  Other people are against me if I find them cool.

Pathetic! LOL

They keep trying to claim I'm in trouble when they did something illegal to me just because I cursed.

What's Important

Sure, maybe cursing wasn't smart, but people were doing illegal things to me.

Why are you trying to make me feel ashamed?  The goal is to see if someone's feelings are hurt.  Not forget that what was done was wrong to me.  If it was that bad, I'd be told to stop more clearly.  Apparently, it was a trick to have something to try to annoy me about.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Problem

Someone is having to make me like them and I don't like what they're doing.

Consensus

I need to go easy on my dad.  He just does his best.

My therapist was like wondering what I was thinking up with my dad.

It seems people are ardent against me concerning him.

Problem

They keep acting like I'm bad and my dad is stimulating me too much how I don't like.

Problem

They are making other people I liked seem unattractive.

Problem

They keep making little noises to make my toes and feet feel unattractive and it's getting irritating.

Therapist

My dad also is being suggestive racially to me now, like before it would not be appropriate.  I used to curse about noises in my room I thought Ellen helped put there, and I was afraid to curse at her so sometimes it happened to my dad who was very mean to me and also probably was responsible for the noises.  He thinks it's anything goes, he can do what he wants now to me, so mean.  He's always acting suggestive each day like he's better.

Therapist

They keep pretending someone secret I like is saying mean things about me.  People I see/know act like they've been in contact with this person and relay a lotta secret insulting, hurtful, really threatening messages..

My dad is always a bastard around me.  Even if I talk to him for fun, he's condescending and finds some way of "disturbing" me.

My mom always has something bad to say to me, as well, in part of her attitude.

They are acting like I've done something to deserve this, all these people who know about me and might even be consulting with my less than confident dad.  Here are the things I've basically done:
I didn't write my younger cousin in Indonesia since I was about 8 years old just because I forgot and had no one remind me.  I wrote her when I was about 25.  A lotta weird things happened to my life, tho.

When I was 11, I said, "Oh, no," when I was doing my homework my dad came home from work.  It sorta just came out in a hurry as a joke, but no one inquired and I kept doing it until my mom said to stop in private.

I thought someone wanted me to call their daughter the N word to make race seem more friendly, like saying it in a fun way.

I cursed at the noises someone put in my room to bother me.  I ended up cursing in a way at my dad because I didn't want to curse at the other person by mistake I was so frustrated.
There are some other things I could add: flunking out of college cuz my junior hi's didn't prepare me and using store cards which annoyed my parents who gave me allowance.

They harass me and say if a feeling sounds like it's true, then it is.  They make fun of me when they use that way of lying to poke fun at me.

I feel sometimes people call my neighbors or hire people to come out when I go for a walk.  Like, there are too many coincidences of running into my neighbors.  They push me to get stimulated by it in inappropriate ways.

I find out about people I like online who are famous etc., and it seems my parents have been in contact with them to send me hateful, secret messages.

I swear there are little ticking noises in my room that sound like words that hit me and startle me to understand, probably making fun of me trying to stimulate me inappropriately on that note.  There are other noises where I stay in the garage and in my house, too.

I cannot seem to reiterate enough how my dad is mean to me.  Also, everyone assumes I'm in trouble with him and spite at me if I don't agree with beating me around, like it's just okay, but, no, no one would think it okay, like, if I did it to them.  So, yes, this is affecting my life very much negatively.

I admit, my dad cools off, but every day he has an itch against me.  He thinks he should pursue me with things like hinted secret death threats.  He's an animal.  Like, he started down a great aunt in law after being upset he went up north with me with a ticket from my aunt, who now is doing something weird cuza it partly possibly.  That great aunt died a year or so after, tho she was already doing badly.  But he actually jokes now using that against me, like I'm just bad.  My dad won't stop telling me I'm bad in how he acts.  I always am good.  Some time, I may have slipped a bit but not really.  Why should anyone have to deal with this b.s. anyway?  I can't get these people to stop, like I say, who have been in contact with my family to be mean to me, my favorite people I look up to and if they met anyone or wanted to know anyone I'd then have a chance and it would be a fun thing.  I might become famous, myself.  I've been wanting to act in movies since I was about 21.

People around Orlando can be very nice or very mean.  They keep acting like they're nice and I'm bad, when it's the exact opposite.  Rumors spread about me and they rub in that I'm bad so they look good.  I have a right to feel upset at people making me mad!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Setting Me Off

I keep having to sit here with people convincing me I am bad.  It's like when you try to relax and it's like you haven't even tried.  You cared about people! and relationships.  And the other side is supported by Jesus thinking they're preaching to me to be nice when they're the ones being mean.

Did you just wanna send a message?

from someone

Issue

I can feel them watching me and making fun of me.

Upset

Sometimes I just want people away from me.

My dad was messing with certain parts yesterday, too, when I was trying to have a nice time with him.

Why do you keep piping in believing I am bad?  Some people really don't seem to care about me as far as some things go.  Why did I wind up being handcuffed?

Why are you so violently sure I should be m*****ed?

Punishment Later

So, I can't like just have someone tell me what I did wrong.  I mean, it's always about me being upset being a bad thing now.  Even if it's on the inside.  At people being mean to me.  I guess it was just "the whole thing," but maybe because I was more pepped against putting  up with stuff.  I'm not living in a bubble mentality.

I care.

I hope my dad doesn't k*** himself trying to punish me for no reason.  Really, sometimes I see him clutch his heart when I feel upset when he tries to punish me for no reason, like in how he drives.  My mom did that, too, drove the car in a way that greatly affected my physically and noticeably.

Problem

You just treat me like trash after all I've done for myself.

Problem

I'm 18 and out, quit bringing up my dad in stupid ways.

I just felt my possible future son lose it!

You fools, my dad is the one who was mean.

This is so stupid.

You don't do this to anyone else.  Why should I give a *beep* about anyone else's kids!  And, yes, actually I used to think kids liked people who were older than them.  In which case I see it's an indefinite situation and for me cuz I'm 1/2 Asian.

Problem

I already said I'm above you.  I do not deserve to be punished.  You can't even come up with an answer.

Problem

You know when you don't want someone to be in your presence in a certain way.. sometimes others push for it?  You aren't doing that to other people.  It's wrong.

Issue

People are all up about me being upset at being hurt all the time like I deserve it, but no one cares about my well-being in this.  They think they are on top of everything and I'm..not?

What?

What does anyone want me to do?

People are upset I don't take their nonsense but they all drag along saying someone else told them to do it.

They constantly made up annoying things to do to me, like what I do doesn't matter.

I mean, come on, what you said can't possibly be right.

I find myself alone on top of this.

I try to calm down.  People just won't stop giving me a hard time.  I don't know what they have in mind, at this point.  I never asked anyone, even my parents, into my "home."  Because of some of you people I kinda don't have a "home."

What about me m********ing or feeling the need to?  You weren't put in the same situation.  You aren't half Asian!  I know in the "new" unapproved ways of thinking, you'd say this paragraph is inappropriate, but it's not..

Problem

Why are you acting like I did something? This is not an appropriate way to live.  What, am I asking a redundant question?

I found they are telling me things to annoy me and take up my time for a long time.

Problem

My dad was violent and thinks I can't escape him.  Well, it wasn't traditional violence.

It's hard to recollect anything.

411

My dad negatively sent me a message from someone as himself in a way to punish me.  Well, that's some 411.  It was from being upset yesterday.  411.  At least, it was in my head and on here.. and I tried not to be negative but was.  You know, he's always acting like he's making fun of me with a Chinese mom like, "Ooh, did you get that one from Mom?"  He's like other boys who try to present themselves as the ideal for others in imposing ways cuz they weren't talked to enough by some people who are wary around him maybe or that he doesn't get to see the type much of.  I actually side with these individuals and encourage them to have a "start."  They keep telling me my normal, careful way of posting is wrong, too.  They just don't want me to win.

Problem

They are being sick saying my dad is me, like I'm his specimen.

Problem

My dad is being nasty for no good reason and racist.

In my blog..

..I was upset at someone, but it was about some fact someone relayed, unsure if it's a mutual consensus.

Apology

I was trying to protect myself and I got confused really fast and acted like something was like against someone when I was doing something physical.

Slamming It In?

I'd better be careful, they are telling me to do more things, hope not to be not like me in bad ways.

Problem

I was feeling uncomfortable and overly ***ed up, and they said, "Oh, your dad did it."  He's not supposed to.  What, is he "magic?"

Problem

Why do you seem so comfortable talking to me and wasting my time and throwing me off my activities?

They are suggesting I should not have talked about Bella even tho we both wanted me to.

Monday, August 17, 2015

K

I hope I didn't say anything too bad today.  If I did I need to know.  Thanks.

No..

..You are being nicer to others in relation to what they were up for.

Also, they are acting like just because I said what if someone has a special someone it's always someone else for a long time and it was like some thing that was supposed to be for me, respectwise.  What if someone did that to you?

They're just wasting my time, now.  I guess they're what can make things better or worse.  Who cares?

Am I missing something?  They know they are just saying mean things, meaning they have a reason.

I'm not a bad person, if you ask anyone.

I understand the part that means some don't want to really talk to me.  What they do seems to mean something, tho.

People give me a lot of negative attention.

You'd better stop this right now cuz I ain't doing this.  It's fun something, but I won't take the negative treatment.  I'm not living with this.

My dad was stancing in a certain way that looked like m********ing for awhile, like that's just what he does, too.  He looked mean and did it at a hard time.

Remember

They're not "shutting up."

Problem

My dad mentioned something about a special "time" and wanted me to think of what he thinks is *beep*

He can't suddenly treat me like a little kid and obsess his life about punishing me indirectly.  I was treated like I grew into a beautiful adult.  Until we moved here.

Being Mean to Me

If this is all cuz you think I was bad to my dad once, I disagree.

cont.

They're lying trying to make something seem impossible for me.  I am not a pervert!

Problem

They just went out and suggested I need to be stimulated and can't have a show.

Problem

You can't take away my relationships.

Problem

They keep trying to stimulate me in a bad way and are being mean to me.

Problem

They won't stop teasing.

Problem

You are being mean.

They said I had to die if I thought I was good or something.  No, you are bad!

Issue

THEY STOPPED on a bad note

NO!

You are bad!

Problem

They said someone I like did it!!!!  They are emulating them in a teasing tacky voice.

Problem

They are doing more stuff!!!!

Problem

They won't quit messing with me pretending I'm bad and teasing me.

Problem

They called my future possible kid/s a wart.

Problem

Someone said only I will never be with someone.

They also associated more memories for my possible future kids.

They don't treat anyone else like a loser.

You know, I don't think anyone's yet said so that I can't be associated with someone or in real life.  No, I don't care about those goofy mean cars sending messages outside.

They're trying to ruin my body physically.  This is not gonna be my life.  I need to relax!

These people are lunatics thinking everyone else is bad since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005 and only they get to turn over their new leaf.

They are still trying to ruin my body in weird ways.  They think I'm suggesting something, but that's what they did.  Ew, they're threatening, too, with others like hostages.

I don't care what those cars say!

Problem

They said I was around that person's leg!  That's another memory with my possible future children!  I don't want this to happen.

Problem

I guess little things can naturally cause big things later.  So, don't get a little opened up mad without a wound to reopen.

Problem

But you don't give that person attention like you make me do.

Problem

I wonder if I have  superiority complex..  I just get so mad about being involved in ways I don't wanna be with things.  I will try to ignore it, but they poke at me when I do and even tell me what I really did that I don't like.  I need to calm down.  I can't just sleep all the time, tho.  It makes you groggy or me at least when I'm in bed a long time and don't get up.

Well, no, this is not a good start to a day.  I should at least start to try to hold things in when I'm not posting here.

Problem

They acted like someone I like  k***ed a future possible kid.

They just said I'm "not sup-posed to meet real people."

Now they said something else threatening from Ellen, about me physically.

They left out that someone else had their hand on a certain spot and I couldn't see something else and something was taken back.

I really don't have this *beep* but they never stop!  I just thought of the word "k***" but not that was gonna do it and throwing around things etc.

Now the cars are at it again with their secret messages to be mean to me..

What, is someone flirting with these famous people to select bad ways of treating me all the time?  Who is forcing bad things on me, people experimenting on me in my room, my parents, famous people?  You can't do this!

Now, they are messing with my life again, suggesting someone and about my wanting to design myself as show.

They also had to act like to drown my possible future son.

I think there's more..

It all started with my dad, thinks he can be mean to me cuza racism.  I wasn't being mean, but he kept acting like I did something wrong and got me upset mentioning that person for some reason.

Did you know I think of someone and no I don't wanna when I color?  They associated the bad memory of me feeling/being upset with that.  No one seems to take no from me when they are mean.  What if I had kids and thought of this?

For some reason, they keep insulting me with little noises.

They think I'm in trouble cuz I negated that person coming up in my life for no reason, too, just to tease me.  I was nice to that person, tho..

It's a good thing I may get a job soon.  That's where everyone's butts should be.

Well, I didn't wanna think of the word "k***."  I didn't apply it, just thought of it when I was upset cuz they messed up my thinking so that bad words come to mind instead of feelings a long time ago.  They get mad when I think of these words.  I'll try not to think of them.

They are letting this person overtake my life.

So, it's technically not my fault.  They just want me to do I dunno what, but I usually think "no" and nothing bad and they get mad at that until I'm fed up, and for them it's alll the drama and they don't get in trouble for being mean.

I already am being nice to that person tho sometimes I find them funny, too..  Something's not right.  What am I, a slave?  I hate it when certain kinds of people are onto me and like other people tell them no.  Can anyone negate as what is wrong with this person?  Why is this mess spreading?  Who wants to deal with it?  I don't want it to have been necessary.  Why are there such bad things?  Did they have to leave these signs this morning?

I am not being thankful for you being mean!  Who/What do you think you are?

You know, lotta smart people'd disagree.

I don't mean to be mean to anyone.

Was it really bad at these signs I saw while I was eating I thought of the word "k***" but not to k*** anyone?

This can only end in disaster.  I don't wanna be locked up with this *beep*.  I'm on meds and have to get a job.

I wonder if I can possible ignore these things, but I can't with what they did.

So?  What can I do to prevent anything bad from happening?  Why is my mom so unaccepting of me?  She gets upset and doesn't get as close, in ways before.  I dunno what's up with my fickle dad.

Well, yes, I was bad, but not really, just according to their standards.

I think people need to forget about me.  I'll find my own way.  So, yea, this person also.  It seems they're being a bit strange thinking how I can talk to them.  I hope they get the help they need.

So, yes, I did get upset cuza Ellen.  Supposedly she takes back something because I don't want an issue with this person cooped up in private receiving these messages.  People think they can be this way.  I didn't wanna get upset, but I already was.  If I get a job, they will probably clown around and hurt me and try to get me upset.  I can't be all up in the manager with crazy talk but can call from home later about my experience.

This is all just some unfortunate mishap or unwillingness of me to deal with things when with people.  Yes, I was bad, but I will try to be good whatever the situation.  I don't agree with what you do to me and find it tacky.  I thought maybe you cared about what you did.  I guess you've sorta decided you're mad at me to begin with from an earlier starting point..

Well, hope you all have a good day..  I'll try to have a productive one.  I was gonna do laundry but got distressed from this, ironing.  Maybe, I should just wash.

Again, kudos to that person.  I don't know how close they want me to get in the end.  Some people do wanna be close, but they are mad and were evil to me and are like something to "make fun of."  I do like them, tho.  I don't know what the suggestions of being weird are, tho, or honestly "too close."  They seem rather domineering.

They said, "Make this day not this day big."  I felt stimulated/affected inappropriately.

Well, let's give kudos to the person and you try to have a nice day.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Problem

Everyone is separating from me with someone and I don't want to be that.

So, what do you want me to say?

I am so thankful for all that person did for me, tho they didn't have to.  They are inspiring and shine as truly a #1.  This person is often respectful to people.  They try and help.

Stragey/Scenereo

I sat here.  I said okay that person's cool.  And my time flowed on.  Let's keep this inside world clean.  I already don't trust how they attacked my mom saying it was for safety in the future..

Trashing Our Lives

Just because you trash your lives doesn't mean it'll improve the karma and energy in ours.

Problem

Is that Ellen making it hard for my mom?  No, seriously?  Or is it for her?  This isn't her show!

Problem

Stop taking my mom away to that person.  I'm trying to post something on an IMDb board.  They said, "And I hope she isn't found."  Go find someone else!  Get out of our glass menagerie. Throw stones in someone else's house.  You can't just do whatever you want!!!

There, what'd I say wrong?

Problem

I don't need this brought into my life.  I'm unimpressed..  I have to protect myself.  Why is this happening to me??

Also

The person doesn't mind if you're making them self-conscious.  They just wanna get at me like bull.

Well

Sounds like I'm not the one fascinated with "underdog" features/things in ways.  I'm happy just to be on top of my game.  Why, is this person depressed I left?  That's too bad and hard to believe.  You showcase him to me, I take it you're the one who's all fascinated and obviously with some OCD issue.  Whoever you all are.  Let's be normal and not wake them up to doing more than we want in certain things, like when you wake up people to compete with me who're happy as is.  You know there's bound to be more from where I came from.

Problem

I already had my fill of that person!

I respected them until I found they were hating on me like some juicy personal secret and privilege to know.

Anyway, I respect what they do, but I don't really have that kinda energy and time etc., not that you asked.

Why does it keep coming up?

But no..

..you shouldn't rub in someone to me like it's a commandment

Why are you negating that?  It could happen to you.

Appropriate Actions

You have to build a good feeling and not stop it.

I just keep getting bullied and forget to ignore after all this time.

All you care about is the result anyway, nothing behind anything.  No wonder people are so messed up.

What, you think I'm the one in the doghouse?

Problem

They just kept at me.  I was trying to deal with things.

Problem

You think you can come in at me?

Problem

You know, just yesterday, my mom kept pursuing me with annoying noises.  It was getting at me to hurt me and it did.

That person is quite

evil, I found, tho, why I make fun of them.

I just don't feel like escalating..

..into trouble from something that isn't even relevant anymore.

Problem

It wasn't even a big deal.  I didn't bring the icon up.  I just don't feel like *beep* but I need to go to supper.  I came out fine, as usual, and something happened to them.  They kept at me.  I keep forgetting they're going to frame me as bad.

Problems

You don't have a right to ruin my life and do it cuza my Gramma.

No..

..I've had enough of that person and followed thru with dedication and respect already.  I like them.  I just don't like it coming up all the time in a bad way.  You can't tell me what to do.  Who did this to me?  I know it means I lose relationships.

Problem

I just made a post on something and you go crazy.

I just wanted it to stop.

My parents created the trouble.  They made me uncomfortable.  I just don't like the negative messages!  They keep sending them and I think of curse words not on purpose!

Problems

Oh wow you just can't stop can you?

Ellen threatened to rub that person in.  What if it gets in the way of watching the show and everyone sees?

It all started..

..my dad was swiping my body for some reason it felt.  Not that anyone who thinks they're popular would care.  I don't know what happened..

Problem

My dad was trying to mess up my foot in tune to someone.  They all denied associating with that person!  I'm not doing this!

Pathetic

Remembering this person so much and as a punishment all started with my dad's oldest sister.  Now, it's catching on.

They also did something because I looked upset typing.  Pathetic.  You're the one hurting me.

Problem

They keep exploding if I use a curse word in my head.  You can't do any of that!

What's the big whoop?

So, I find people I like and I become a fan.  What is this digging into me being mean telling me if I don't submit I'm not a fan?

Problem

I'm not here to "fight the feeling."

I'm so sorry

you must be on a guilt trip.  Whoever you are, of course.

No, you are mean to me.

They said I won't "get it in Heaven."

What's the problem??

I can be upset if I want.  I wasn't the one being mean.

They are trying to say I can't feel love.  And not to follow someone I follow on Twitter.

They are threatening me to turn into my opposite, my brother.

No, I don't think so!  I bet it's cuza my mom.

I'm not gonna play it with you, me on eggshells and shown the door all the time.

They are being *beep* and said really quickly and annoyingly and tackily to me, "No, I'm already gonna make you into your brother."

I said they are doing this for my Gramma, people I like who are famous hurting me.  They think I'm bad and did something.  I'm very good, and I didn't do anything.  If I did, it had an explanation.

Problem

I posted something okay about Johnny Depp and his family but deleted it since it didn't seem liked.

I think they had pretend that someone had all the babies with the girls in the house.  I think they're saying possibly Johnny Depp said to do it.  Whoever said it, tho, I disagree.

This experiment is not right.  I'm more competent and nicer than the people doing it, by a landslide.

I think the person having the babies is provided for as hungry for things like that that are inappropriate and a tacky conclusion.  See, that sounds right.  I'm not gonna be a slave to your thinking, you know.  I already said I won the competency test.

I just got a stuck up message this person will steal my possible future kids. That's not okay, neither.  I'm sick of these jokes.

They just said not to touch them.  Quit making up that I'm touchy feely!  That's a horrible mistake to make!  Don't make it sound true cuz it's not.  Are you doing it for Ellen?  I don't need these retarded, offensive messages to come up all day.  They keep being mean cuz they got in a bad mood.

Hey, let's say what if you can't touch people.  How's that? I don't even touch people for other reasons.

They are trying to m******** me to someone and I don't like it.  Why do you think I'm bad?  You buzz in people to punish me for no reason.

If you don't know right from wrong or when to leave something alone with these issues I type out, you might be Autistic.

I didn't do anything wrong.  You are not being nice.

What?

I'm not crazy.. I was nice to my dad.  And he's not a baby!

You can't be beating at me for some way you think I treated him.  I never did anything to him.  Sometimes, he made up stuff, tho.

Problem

They are mean and tell me bad things and say they tell me what to do.  Why me?  I'm good.  What you say is often a detriment.

Threats!

About me not amounting to what I was.  Well, no!  I will.

No, I see..

..you're going in and trying to punish me for something.  This is ridiculous.

Well..

What, next?  They put bad words into my head.

I guess they hate me.

I'm too old to be a kid to older adults??

Tacky

They just drop off their punishment to me when something *** comes up.  Selfish.

So, I tried not to be upset..

..but they kept hurting my eyes.  I dunno, I was just upset.  You think christinabarrett.com makes me mad?  Maybe.  So what?  Got something to say, don't keep it a secret?

Problem

I thought I was safe in my home, but people hate me.

Problem

Who are you to pretend I did something bad/wrong?

Problem

They did this so I could lose my relationship.

Problem

Well, they went out and said "no" to my face!  I was fine without this nonsense.  You get at me every time I try to relax.

Problem

What you got on me?!

Problem

They won't stop.

Problem

They are joking like it's just something to say.

Problem

You're ruining my life.

Problem

They are bringing up I have to d**.

Problem

They were rubbing in a person.

Problem

They said, "You-haf-ta-die for this, christina."  Then a hit.  You are not all the ***y ones who are worth it-

Help!

What about my eyes?

Problem

What was with the constant beating at my eyes?

Problem

So what if I got upset at someone already upset?  I did it in my blog.  It's a special necessary blog for problems for things like was for also my therapist to read.

Problem

Greedy bloodthirsty think you're some hot shot.  I'm not talking about any 1 person!  I didn't say that.

Problem

They are taking away from my relationship after being *beep*

Problem

They're still going.

Problem

You were just mean to me about my blog!

Problem

More threats and hurting me.

Problem

See, there you go again making serious threats.

cont.

outloud

Problem

What's all this for?

My dad came out and didn't say hi while I was reading.