Problem

Now, they are loading the computer like the name of that person.

Problem

They kept repeating the name of someone in a way I don't like and now it keeps popping up in my mind.  Supposedly, someone I like did this.  Supposedly, they are onto me.  I'm not just some fanclub worshipper.. I'm a real person.  Come on ya'll I'm like freaking out.  It's like they won't stop.  I don't want to think of this person constantly and have noises I make sound like I'm saying the name of that person.  I am a good person.  You are a bad person.  You can't tell me what to do!  I don't need to be aroused like this.  They keep saying they're gonna do it etc.!  I am telling the police online once I can call and get my account back.  They think being mean to me is fancy.  I am not bad.  You keep pushing me.  I said I am not bad!  You can't do this, neither!  You all should not be listening to my dad!!  I don't want him close in my life in this way!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  TRYING TO GIVE ME FATAL CANCER?  What should I do about these people?  You don't care about me, think I'm just some n*****.  All you people do is talk back cuz you feel sorry about those who do but want to hurt me.  You don't care about me at all.  You assure others of their comfort and safety but do this to me.  I'm not here to be tested to deal with things.  You have a life given to you.  I'm worried cuz I thought bad things because of this.  They want to associate it and redistribute that message to me.  There is no excuse to them for it.  I don't really care if I think that or not so may as well have note.  They deserve something, tho.  I can feel them watching me try to think.  It sounds like something Ellen would do because she does things like that, has things repeated for an effect.  I wonder if she is responsible for whoever decided to do it.  Or if it's the same thing.  They even said because my Gramma still watches over my dad and same on my mom's side, that they can take away my esteem in how good I am and pretend I'm bad for feeling upset and them watching my thoughts I try to hide of being upset.  See, I was treated like a mature individual.  My parents never literally tell me what to do or anything like about mu attitude too much.  So, this is epic.  They think it's okay.  That's not who I was.  I feel a bit bad, got out of bed after 2 hours of sleep.  I was so tired, too.  I wonder what came over me.  My mind feels a little empty and numbed/tingling.  I feel injured.  What should I do?  Just keep my mouth shut on the inside?  Stupid me!  I don't know why it's pushed on me to think bad things that I don't care about that make them mad.  I'm a bit shocked it is continued.  I don't know how to get it to not be suggested.  Well, I did what I did, gotta somehow get some food in my brain.  Why is that person I like showing off trying to hurt me!  It was said again.  That person I like "wants" to take away the fact that after a day of thinking a bad word I have it clear, when I should be clear, already.  That's sick.  So, that would mean they can easily have that person brought up to me.  It seems to come up readily when I think about it.  It is strong like a learned skill form since/when young.  I don't deserve to be singled out like this as bad.  You know what started it.  I saw some brat act like she said to me out of nowhere, "I'd rather not," concerning if they liked me, like to feel for them, like touching them.  That wasn't even on my mind!  She just meant it cuza my race and thinking I'm a loser.  So, I said no and acted more forwardly.  This could just happen and I could be left with just black people who are on the bad end.  It could become infectious.  I just did it sorta without being able to think, again.  Sorry, to everyone I was mean to, but I need to get my act together.  What's wrong with my brain?  It seems I think of that person when I think of them deliberately.  Noises seem to take shape of their name.  I guess I can't fix the past but anyway, I didn't keep doing it.