Vicious

So, I know I've slipped somewhere.  Maybe, a nice decision to avert me is in order for some people.

Partially just so you don't do it..

..sometimes it brings me joy to envision putting people in their place, but it's a no no.. it should not be suggested, tho, cuz it "came up."  It must have been suggested condescendingly or lackadaisically.

No Hard Feelings

I don't have all hard feelings on anyone.

I don't wanna hurt them.. who would?  But I think they lied that I'm in trouble.

Treated Badly

I don't deserve to be treated this way.  Whatever you imagined, I said what I had to.  I just overlooked it.  I said I am not here to listen to you.  I'm not the tough luck cookie!!

What?

So, what, do you just hurt me more?  You can't tell me what to do.  No one can.  I'd wind up dead.

Sorry to Anyone

who has suffered direct contact, blog posts, or thoughts by me

I still wanna have fun making fun of the underdogs.  Well, I can do that alone on my blog..

I just don't wanna be on people's bad side, if you possibly know what I mean.

I just disagree..

..with punishing me for pleasure all the time.

I don't really agree with many people who have a say.  What is it about, that I like not being all white and I'm racially inferior?

I can't believe such prestigious people would stoop so low as to barge in on me just to, like, tell me they hate me and I have no hope of meeting anyone as cool as I am.

So, "what are my options?"

Points off, I'm in prison?  I do not collect $200.  I do not pass Go.

What, does every "criminal" get mistreated privately, at 1st?

I did find things to be especially arousing.  I always come out and try to be nice, but people are still mean to me.  I have to wait until I'm alone so they can go about doing whatever they do rather than focus on fighting with me.  If we fought, it'd be to the end.

You know, a lotta people talk to me condescendingly.  When they do that, I find it harder to be nice to them and do as they wish, whatever that may be.

So, no, I didn't even mean it when I did what you thought I did.  If someone did, so what?  Life must go on for all, not just the bad popular people.

How is it that you all monitor my thoughts but keep acting aggressively around me?  Central Florida knows it has better family behavior than mine.

I do feel I did it as guilty, but it is not that no one was pushing me around.  I just blame these other people for ruining it for me.  It's not right.

What?

I already explained what happened.  I was being attacked.  I'll try not to attack..

They kept going and I guess I could not think.  I guess I'm working on it.  Like I said.  Can I pretend to blow a person down?  I have to have something ready, in case, so I think of the right thing, tho I don't wanna think about that.  This'll be on you if "something happens."  Or just the fact I can't really control this.  You know, I'm 1/2 Asian and often not treated normally like I act.  I think that has messed with my mind.  Deep in the roots.

Prusued

MY DAD WON'T STOP CHASING ME DOWN

Secrets

You secretly quite give a *beep* about Ellen after she was mean to me.  She'd just roll her eyes were she to follow this post.  And it's about it, too, isn't it?  I didn't start anything mean with you.  You just don't like me cuz you stopped caring, you all stopped.  It's all for Bella and no one else, everything I do.  I don't expect anything, but I don't want to be on someone's bad list cuz you all won't quit *beep*ing me!!

Oh, yes, I see people are nice but if I get upset at something they take it out on me and made me wish I hadn't known about them, yet.  Like I said, wish I hadn't watched Ellen yet!  IT'S NOT OKAY.  You lie if you think it's okay to watch your show cuz it's not worth being made fun of and getting in trouble for watching cuz we "aren't ready."

You think of things that I didn't think but thought of.  It seems my life is about it, now.  It's about the insults I get which throw off my thinking.. or maybe this is a bad opportunity?

What about Ellen?  Who's "ready?"

Liar

This really could be that person I like "saying these mean things!"

So, what did you think of this ordeal?

Like, nothing happened?

My dad acting like I'm like my opposite brother and that he's having *** with someone else to possess them?

Secret

I know ya'll's little secret.  You are nice to Bella and not me cuza Ellen.  Some people were partly nice sometimes or stopped but not stopped for Bella.

You know what it was?

Did you know Whitney Houston's daughter died?  I thought she did it in sync for the experiment.

What else?

Prevent bad things.. never throw anything at people.. check.  That's the kind of thing to prepare for not doing.  You don't seem to have it together.  Any ideas?  I still haven't thrown anything at anyone.  I haven't thrown any dishes.  If I mess up, this is on you.

Problem

They are still trying to affect me more just because I thought of applying force to a person WHO WAS BEING MEAN TO ME.  So what?  I just lost control of my thinking!  You did it!  Don't go and tell me it wasn't them this late in the game.  Now, they think I owe them something.  No, they're bullies.  I said I went in and realized it wasn't a good idea.  I controlled myself more physically.

Also, they think that people I like can affect me cuz I accidentally gave away my mom's age online before and my dad doesn't touch me much, neither, much less not make others feel good inside.  So, they are pairing me with people I don't wanna.  How cooky is that.  You can't throw away an innocent life!

Why?

Why do you go full blast and say someone I look up to is like cursing at me or as if they are with what they say?  You don't practice on smaller relationships or on my dad who deserves it more?

Issue

I don't care about you, but I still wish I could go back and do it over.  What's the big deal?  I said I didn't mean it violently.  They kept threatening years of my life.  They were acting annoying, too.  I just wanna make a point about who says what.  It seems I can't do anything about it, tho.  I probably have negative energy from the rest of Central Florida.  About the imagining of others, they kept acting mockingly and trashily towards me.  Sorry about that, but they were being mean.  They threatened my relationship.  That's not safe around them, but you were making fun of me.  I'll try not to do it again.  This is stupid, tho.  You make a living/life out of stupid things like curse words and "imaging violence."  Psychologists understand we think that sometimes.  What can you do about that?  I don't even get into things like that as video games, what I had in my dream I think today.  Why is that so serious?  I just had 1 goal, not to get physical.  I didn't even mean it as violence.  It was a byproduct.  I just had that kind of thought stuck like that because of you.  I can feel Ellen making fun of me.  That's a big problem.  I need peace and quiet and some privacy.  Ellen does things without thinking of why.  She probably went wild in Hollywood, or crazy.  What can you say?  She doesn't try to make things make sense.  She wants them to be hard and violent, like some younger person.  Anyone would know what I'm talking about who knows of her from either the Disney ride or the show.

Oh, and I "don't care" about you but that I wish I were better cuz you keep bothering me and poking fun.

What can I do?  You know what also entered my dreams?  Dr. Phil.  He had a louder, lower voice.  I saw him mostly from the back.  He is silly.  All he does is say someone was mean and his revolutionary statement "that it needs to change."  He's smart, yes.  But that's all he can do.  He does it over and over with different people.

Okay, I'll try to control my thoughts from violence and the words that people are s***, n*****s.. what else?  Well, curse words and to deliberate the word "stupid."

I already offended them with this snap decision.  They never really talk about it much.  Maybe, they want it to be a mystery.  I don't do that.  They never said why.  They get mad if I stomp my foot or grit my teeth in private.

Why ruin my relationships?  Does it depend on if the deed was done on them?  It wasn't to go out and hurt anyone innocent.  I kept thinking about it, but they kept going!  What is this, anyway?  Why can you threaten me, with years of *beep* suggested?  Are you holding a smile about my past 10?  What's wrong with me asking that?  So what if my dad is 65 and I was born in 1985??  My mom's age is secret.  I think differently than families with people younger than my parents!

Well, okay, might be in jail for being black, but I will try not to think of violence nor cursing, save my wrath for private sorting out.

Sorry

I don't think they're sorry.

Now, what?

I just didn't wanna make a lotta noise at the table.

YOU RUINED MY DAY

probably my week and sprinklings in what my future entails.

Look, sorry, if you didn't do it.  I never know!  That's why I went crazy.

It's not a crime, tho!  You'd be in trouble and not me.

Problem

They are acting disgustingly around me, like people in ways I don't like, just because of a counter-thought.  They are doing it in private.  I was the one in the right.  You were spurting out years at me.

Well, they don't like it.

What if they don't like something that is necessary?

Okay, I'll be nice, but I don't approve of like my dad acting all fuzzy around me.  He does it in an annoying way.  He does it like a punishment for being in trouble.

What did I do wrong?  What lesson do I need to be taught at this point?  I don't see anything there.

Am I?

Sorry?  Not when you're sitting there making me feel guilty.  The point was not to literally imagine injury but a force.  I'm sorry it had a little blood, but I thought about stitches recently, too.  I made it up.  It was not really harmful.  I guess I can't fight the *beep* in my head in person.  I probably should not be posting it because this is literally an attempt to overthrow the experiment.  Lotta people agree, tho.

I don't mean it

so much against her as I wanted to make a statement.  I don't care who said it.  I ain't takin' it.  It's rude and mean and only I suffer thru it.

You don't care..

..what people think about me.

WHO SAYS

I can't think that.  I don't wanna think it.  But you can't follow me and tell me what to think!

STOP

TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY AFTER YOU HURT ME

They would not shut up!

What could I do?

Just call them *beep*?

At Least

I did not really get physical like yesterday.  I guess they just wouldn't shut up and I justified it as a message but did not really mean it.

So what?

I have to think of something when I'm mad.

YOU CRAZY PEOPLE

I don't have to listen to you.  But you managed to ruin my day.

O Wow

WHO DID THIS?  MY DAD!  STOP!  I DON'T CARE!

Problem

They keep trying to punish me.  NO, THIS IS STUPID!  YOU STARTED IT.

Problem

They kept rubbing in years of me punished in trouble for no good reason.

I thought of throwing someone and accidentally it seemed more bloody.  So what?  They would not shut up.  They were getting physical.

At It?

You don't need to do this for Ellen.  Act like someone I look up to is just an annoying baby.

Problem

They keep peeping, like, suicidal things at me.  I mean how much it is while I try to be positive.

What Sparks a Worry

Things like if my family gets "hurt."

Need to Settle

I just am having a hard time posting without people getting mad.

How They Talk

They insult me tackily.

They just slammed into my eyebrows.

Problem

They made it seem like my dad picked me up and in a bad way, but Bella Thorne got picked up by someone who I like in some world.  I don't like my dad getting touchy with me and he doesn't touch me.  What is this?  This is going a bit far.  And some new "first" got slammed in.

So..

..howcome since like knowing someone do I get suggestive negative messages on IMDb and other places?

You all were not nice to me from the start.  You were all antsy about wanting to "punish" me.

How dare you suggest that.

You're just crazy and don't care about the world.  Do you wanna be joked around like that about being locked up?

Problem

They keep fitting in *beep*.  They threatened me on execution.  Well, you are accused of causing people to commit suicide.  I don't care if you got the police's okay.  It's wrong.  And you used it as something against me.  They said I was locked up for something.  I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD.  I flunked college cuza noises and it being messed up in class.

I don't care what you think Ellen wants.

You can't tell me what I am racially and dictate bad things for my possible future kids.  They keep bothering me about my possible future kids.  Who are you, Coco the Chimp?  I hope that's not as offensive as calling me Asian or possible Vietnamese or Thai.  It was a joke, I wasn't literally saying they were a monkey.  They act like I am.

Still

They're acting like someone I look up to is saying stupid *beep* and threats.  I bet you don't do that to Bella Thorne.  Not that I want you to do it to anyone.  I'm just making a point.  (!)  Want me to come on?  I plan to post this on the police forums.  What you bringing on me?  Who do you think you are, some elevated race?  I AM WHITE and I am not to hear otherwise.  Who do you all think you are?  You're the one bothering me and suggesting things.  I don't want to get mad at you.  This is not okay in life!  Sometimes, they blame other people.  Well, I don't like them.  I never met anyone I completely knew I hated, tho, so I dunno.  They seem pretty "energetic."  This is not the way to pass time.  What good does this do for the world and those who need in life?  Sorry, if anything offended anyone, like anyone nice.  I'm not trying to rile anyone up nor make a threat.  But I am sick and tired of being in trouble when I'm not doing anything wrong.

Problem?

I did end up mentioning Ellen in my posts.  I have established the fact that she's playing in the experiment against me.  I do recall Ellen acts okay mostly but has hidden agendas.  I keep recepting images of her stereotype being mean.. to me.  How can that be?  She won't stop affecting the lives of me and those I care about.  I guess she doesn't let things go.  She may be wrong and ditzy, so I don't have to listen.  All I did was curse about noises she wanted put in my room.  So, if Ellen is being good would be fine then of course.. but if she's doing all these secret messages against me, I just don't feel things settling in well.  She has hidden agendas.  I feel as tho people I care about are in danger and so am I.  She didn't really tell me very clearly to stop cursing about the noises, tho I know for sure she wouldn't want me to.  That's not to her to decide.  I hope or tried not to direct it at her specifically.  I don't think I called her things much.  When I did, it was a big thing, which I probably apologized for, or I *bleeped* it out.  You know, she does this probably because she's so harsh.