I feel I am being treated like a pretend bad guy while someone who was my relationship was nicer in certain ways to others who know me but like there's something wrong with me in some state of thinking. Most people say I'm shit cuza my race, and that's a very wrong way of believing that people think in the world. They are nice and sparkly to people who are all white, and they can tell I am not all "white" in heritage tho I seem turned on to be and to like that. White people doesn't afraid of anything. They don't have to do shit to get liked.
Disclaimer: I'm not being sarcastic and insulting pointing fingers.
Also, I am told someone had to talk to these people in my life and that me feeling bad they are treated in certain ways with more respect.. They get mad when I say I don't like it because they had to do it. It's like my life doesn't matter and others's do. Other people are confused if they're okay or not. Everyone here it seems is always racist to me.
So, I am wondering why knowing someone I have to involve other people when it supposedly shouldn't be in that way. It's like the rest of my life is gonna be this way. Before I met someone I like, I had more hope to escape. I just don't get it. It seems the only reason is because it's what everyone's doing who sees me.