I was upset at church and my elbow hit my mom, not like too hard, just you know.
I need help with this. My life only gets worse until it's too late. I don't want this or something else to happen.
I did feel uncomfortable about it. People know about it. I didn't physically hurt my mom that I know of, but she might have been a little surprised. Could you predict this happening? I need to give myself rules. What? I don't see myself as totally secluded. I realize this time wasn't completely overboard bad other than what it is itself. I'm a bit worried. I had posted about how I don't get anger pills and people laugh at me when I mention it.
I just have to go with the flow. I guess tell myself not to do it again, at least but unable to change the past of course. Any big things to help me? I did wanna check in to the mental hospital. Seems like it's hard. So, I dunno!
People get so mean to me. I just felt upset. My mom wasn't the one bothering me this time.
This is all so stressful and unbelievable.
People think I'm *beep*. It gets annoying. I think it's because of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Tim Burton directing and Johnny Depp starring init. The world became more disrespectful and suggestive. I should have not gone to church maybe but did not know.
If I haven't hit the nail on the head, this is important. I don't wanna do this stuff and be like this, an animal. I realize people are mean to me. I shouldn't have to go thru with it but must remember. I need to change the situation if I can't ignore it or feel crazy. That fixes some of that.
Anyway, really sorry, I understand if you feel bad around me. That's too bad. I need to grow up, like I was before. It's sad. You know I can't get off psychotic pills as long as I live with my parents/mom? They make me tired. I dunno if it's helpful nor harmful. Seems like a way not to care about me as a person..
Well, sorry, let's take time to think of ways to prevent this and settle qualms with all these "what ifs" something this bad happen someone's about to do? Like, people are mean to me supposedly because someone else would do the job anyway. I think they're just annoying me to get in trouble and want to land me in jail. I don't know where to go nor what to do. I know I watched Dr. Phil. He appeared on an entertainment show, and he seemed again in the end to bring negative vibes. That's his job. He presents negative vibes. That's not right, tho. He's a great guy who likes to work with people in trouble and make them semi-famous. It's like his motives make a puzzle to solve.
So, very sorry. So, very sorry. There, I did a detention. And I do need help with all the stress of having done it and to solve these things where someone keeps making me mad like me being good is nothing..