Someone I look up to is acting meanly towards me thru others because they know that they will misinterpret them, anyway, and it'll be all over. When I think these things, people spying on me act like the person wants to be that way for their own reasons and not that.
I just thought, "Stop," when they were mean and they kept acting meaner and I continued to think, "Stop," when they suddenly suggested in was wrong and then it was over in 10 seconds. That was it, they would be mean thereon. Supposedly, it's cuz my mom acted like that was right.
Also, I was upset and was like squeezing my drink bottle and sometimes throwing it on the floor, trying to do it so people wouldn't notice.
My dad was driving annoyingly again, and it made me put pressure on my foot, squeeze my arms together, drop my bag on the floor, stomp where no one was looking, etc.
Since, the episodes, I've resorted to some inner turmoil hopefully to keep more weirdness from occurring.
I'm upset they're making a joke of me. The person supposedly from the start said they can be mean to me cuz they're older and like these people can make claims like that. The person is supposedly sending me messages thru others that are mean all too often. It seems disconcerting. There is no give and take, no sacrifice so I can get out of this, like I deserve it all.
So, obviously, any onlooker with a brain left can tell this person is simply wrong and I'm simply right. Supposedly, people in public either can't handle seeing this and have to talk about it or it's their standard ways of reveling that I am bad and have to be treated with torture.
If this is wrong, then what? It has cost me a friendly relationship, like I have to have relationships with others, tho.
They won't ever leave me alone rather than say I should be tortured cuz they don't want me to get away with it.
If I had to chose, I'd rather try at the relationship than give it up. If it ends too badly, of course it would not be a good option. I don't know how bad it is. I just feel like a joke.
I even was not mean to this person so much when mad. Something that affected my life, too, was that some people I saw acted like this person got down with them to say they're all that and I'm shit and kept it going all too much. I was already upset they pretended it was that person I look up to saying this for us. Now, people are mad this late in the game I got upset at what was supposed, like it was nasty.
I know for a fact I think people here get enraged and try to act annoyingly around me and hurt me physically that way and make suggestions about what to think about myself. I get singled out by bad people. There are very good people, too.
So, the fact of the matter is supposedly this could have been avoided, this person I look up to supposedly being so mean to me. Like, my episodes of self-anger that caused public anger and with my dad noticing.. or me prior continuing to think, "Stop," when I get a whirlwind of commands to detract from the relationship.
I should deny these things these experimenters and others tell me acting like it was crafted by that person..
They are also rubbing in like maybe I said people had to do certain things with me. People have acted like what I say should be shoved aside. All I said was something I like to talk about, that people are making sure I can't meet people I admire, anymore. They are suggesting I dream of too much, but that was other people telling me that. They must be mad I even accepted the nice things that have been said for me. I notice a calm sometimes after I do something that seems out of ball park but not really bad. Then, they come back triumphant and creeping up to my knowledge that something has been done about it to "punish" me by a larger margin. They might do this for me getting upset I thought they should not prevent me from being like everyone else rather than being told upfront I can't like someone, and they think "I think I'm special." It was a very strange calm. It is of a general topic I believe in. I am just waiting for the extended mistreatment or "punishment" for that. I feel extra threatened, too, tho.
I just woke up. Who knows what messages await from how my dad arranged things in the kitchen and dining area. I am, as usual, confident I should be okay. You know, my dad was being mean and then acted excitedly when I talked about the movies. That's not til the weekend tho. You know, I think he got himself involved in my other relationships, rather than letting me have fun in my life without him bothering me and sending punishments for times when I think things have been forgiven.