What actually did it, knowingly or not?

I probably deserve to be k**ed..  Did watching Ellen curse someone I know to death and Ellen wouldn't care?  She always acts like we should be punished like that.  I don't want to suggest it, but it seems like it happens whether she wants it to or not.  I wonder if her fanbase is dwindling.  Lotta people liked her who had family problems.  It seems like they don't post to her now, but I'm not sure.  The site changed.  Maybe, she is so daunting that people go on guilt trips.  I should say in the end it's my fault for my own life.  No one should watch her in spite.  It's too late for me to be "good," in what was in her book.  I grew up everyone saying I was so good but suddenly people are onto me for weird things.  If I don't matter, then who does?