Sunday, March 15, 2015

Always Mean

I got upset at my Gramma in old age and am afraid she is using a walker now.  I heard she fell.  She's tough.

It started she's been pretty mean to me in ways and even hurt me secretly but not like abusively technically.  I thought she tried to kill my mom, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.  I needed to remember not to sound out of control mad.  I wasn't raging in terror, tho, I mean.  Like, she was aggressive around her with her things at the table, the noise of the silverware on the plate.  I didn't say anything for a little while and went to get more food.  After, I left.  My mom has cancer, and it sounded like she was mad at my mom cuz of something I just did.  It sounded like she was in tune to her cancer.  I didn't mean to hurt her by wondering about that.  I felt out of control with all my relatives being convinced not to welcome me anymore for some weird reason, not sure who did this particular thing.